Mythological Creatures
by mistyhaze420
Summary: Edward & Jasper are two lonely boys who grow up together in a Texas Children's Home.  Mase & Whit are two sociopathic monsters who feed from each other's psychopathic tendencies.  A love story about two crazy boys.  Dark themes, slash, M
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, so here's what happened...I wasn't happy with where this story was going and got a little off track...that's what happens when you write really, really stoned and have no outline, lol. Anyway, I am revising this story now that I have it planned out and hopefully it will flow a little smoother. I apologize to those that have already read it but I just wasn't happy with it and that whole OCD thing took over. **

**Anyway, for the newbies here, this is gonna be a dark, twisted tale about two crazy boys who fuel each other's madness and fall in love along the way. Rated M, over 18 only please. There will be graphic content. All human, Edward/Jasper slash.**

**Chapter One: Back in the Saddle…**

_**Everyone carries around his own monsters…**_

**Whit's POV**

I wasn't as scared as I should be…and that's what was so terrifying. Because, in the real world, most people never get to a moment like this. The normal people can mostly hold it together…I mean, it takes an awful lot to push a man over the edge…but when you do…man, oh man, you better watch out…

Cuz when you got nothin' to lose and no fear of dyin'…when you're ready to take on the herds of the sleepwalking masses, guns pulled, a cocky ass smirk on your face, and ready to go out in a blaze of glory…

That's when you become born again…you leave the old you behind…the weakness of humanity is traded in like your soul to the devil and the flesh of reason and compassion burn away…

A monster emerges from the ashes, scarred and ugly…an empty, cold creature that wanders the dark nights, ready and waiting to devour his next meal…

A demon…a werewolf…a vampire…something frightening and unreal…

A mythological creature…

_Enough of this theatrical bullshit…you're gonna get yourself killed standin out here fuckin around… _

Rolling my eyes, I sighed, wishin that fucker would stay outta my head. Then I pulled my black cowboy hat down low and my black bandana up to right underneath them…my baby blues were always my best feature. Then I walked in the front door to the Forks Savings Bank and raised my two Desert Eagles.

Now that pretty little gold and chrome lady in my right hand, she's one mean bitch. She's pretty though…the way she sparkles. But in my left hand is my mother fuckin' man. He was cold and hard and the second deadliest son of a bitch I knew…but he had been with me from the start…he was my guy…I favored this mother fucker over that pretty little bitch any day.

I smiled as I looked up from underneath my old black cowboy hat cuz either way, today would be the end of this shit. I'd be leavin here with a whole lot of fuckin money, ain't no way I'm gonna die…I'm a monster and there ain't no bigger monster here to put me down…I just wasn't sure if I'd be leavin here alone or if that crazy green eyed fucker would prove me right and show up…

_He's gone, Whit…and I don't wanna end up in a cell again…_

"Get down on the mother fuckin' ground!"

The bank wasn't that busy, seeing as it was a small town branch. But the thing is, I have it on very good authority that some really big surgeon lives here, and this very big surgeon had a very big hospital benefit last night. And this little birdy told me that a shit load of cash would be deposited into this bank this morning and that the Brinks truck's wouldn't be arriving until 10:15 am. It was now 9:35 am. I had to make this quick.

I glanced up and shot a camera before pointing my man at the girl behind the counter, "If anyone does anything stupid…I'll blow her fuckin' brains out. No alarms, no phones…this ain't my first rodeo darlin so don't try nothin funny."

The manager was standing behind her with his hands up, "You can have whatever you want, just please don't hurt anyone."

I smirked, even if he couldn't see me. The worthless excuse of a man cowered behind the woman and I swear he was 'bout two seconds away from pissin all over himself.

It was good that he was scared…self preservation makes you human.

I grabbed my empty duffle bag and tossed it to him, "I want the big fuckin' deposit that was made this mornin'. Don't try no funny shit, mother fucker, cuz the thought of pullin' this trigger is makin' my dick twitch."

And sure enough, it was. It was kinda nice to know that somethin was makin it hard cuz after these last few months…

_Now is not the time for this…_

Christ, I hate that asshole…

The manager shook his head and looked confused, "Big deposit? I-I'm sorry but…I don't know what you're t-talking about…"

_You need to leave now, Whit…_

I walked closer until my main man was just inches from the pretty little teller's big ass forehead.

Glaring right into his eyes, I spoke calmly, "How 'bout now? Ya know what I'm talkin' bout now, you dead mother fucker?"

The girl had tears streaming down her face and the man's eyes started to water cuz he's a pathetic human…stricken with terror…

That's good…he should be terrified.

He whispered through shaky breaths, "Please…you can have all the money we have…please…don't…"

_GO!_

I was losing my patience when I heard the door chime.

I kept my main man on the teller while I pointed my pretty bitch at the mother fuckin' sheriff now pointing his pistol at me.

_Fantastic…_

I sighed and groaned, "Really? You're really gonna try and take me on all by yourself? Are you fuckin' crazy?"

The small town sheriff with the high water polyester pants and token 'stache didn't have a fuckin' chance. I watched his hands shake and then noticed the teenage girl crouching behind him, still like a deer caught in headlights.

_There's no goin back…__**he's **__not comin back…if you shoot…he'll shoot back and likely kill me…_

My chest ached and my head pounded...I just wanted it to end. But it couldn't end cuz I knew he was gonna show up any fuckin minute…I mean, I was in Forks…it had to be him…he's not dead…it's not possible…

I itched to squeeze the trigger when the door chimed again.

_Shit…you cocky mother fucker, Mase…I shoulda known you wasn't dead…you'll never die…there's no bigger monster than you…_

One look into those wild, forest green eyes and I knew…that's all I needed anyway cuz the rest was hidden underneath a black ski mask. And then I saw the little crinkle in the corner of his eye and knew he was smirking.

Shit's about to get really fuckin interesting…

He grabbed the mousy brown haired girl and pressed his nine to her temple. The cop lowered his weapon and I turned back to the teller and growled out, "Fill it up, darlin' and if you give me one of them there dye packs or that marked shit, I will come back here and shoot you in the fuckin' head. Get goin' now, sugar…time's a'wastin'."

She immediately started emptying out the drawers into the duffle bag and then tossed it on the floor near my feet. I threw it over my shoulder and made my way over next to him.

_Jesus Christ, he's damn near tall as you are now…he was just a little kid the last time I saw him…but then again, he's never really been just a kid…_

The young girl whimpered in his arms as he tightened his grip.

_Fuck…please don't kill her, Edward…don't fuckin' kill her…_

My mind was racing and it was hard to stay focused cuz the reality of the situation punched me in the fuckin' gut…there was no big deposit into this bank, he led me here…and now I was getting ready to go on the run with him…

Finally…I'd be able to live again…

_You mean kill again…_

And everything came rushing back to me cuz suddenly I was swept up in that same childhood tempest of emotions that being around Edward Masen always brought on me.

_Fear…want…guilt…_

Affection…annoyance…euphoria…

He was like a drug to me. I knew that maybe he wasn't good for me…

_But I couldn't help but want to be around him anyway. He made me feel untouchable…and I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing because in those moments of pure insanity that I experienced with him, I never felt more…_

Free…excited…and once I got over the fear, came bliss.

_The euphoria and the bliss were what worried me because it could only mean one of two things…either I really was some sort of monster or I was just as crazy as he was…_

And the memory of my first 'hit' of Edward Masen came rushing back to me and flashed through my mind in the blink of an eye.

**:::**

_Growing up in an overcrowded, understaffed state home for children in Texas didn't leave me with many good memories. I was three when I came here after wandering away from my mama's house in the middle of one of her parties. An off duty sheriff found me and turned mama in._

_They took me away and all she had to do was get clean and stay that way for six months to get me back…but three months later she slit her wrists instead. I always thought it was kinda fucked up that she chose to end her fuckin' life over being sober with me._

_I don't really remember much about her anyway._

_So I grew up a loner. _

Until I met him…

I walked down into the home's boiler room so I could smoke a cigarette. A lot of the older kids knew where you could go and hide to get away with doing shit we weren't supposed to do. So I wasn't surprised to see an older boy beating the hell out of a kid as I turned the corner.

I hated that shit. I remember getting my ass kicked on a daily fuckin' basis for the first five or six years I was in here. Then I started fighting back and soon…nobody fucked with me. They wouldn't even acknowledge me.

The older boy I knew, Dimitri, he was a dick. He glared at me and sneered, "You don't see anything, right, Jasper? Now get the fuck outta here!"

I glanced at the boy on the ground, struggling to breathe as Dimitri's hand held him down by the neck. He was only about ten and I hadn't ever seen him before but I heard a new kid got here a few days ago all the way from Chicago. His bright green eyes looked up into mine and I couldn't help but notice that he looked more pissed off than scared.

I kinda liked that so I thought, fuck it.

Cracking my knuckles, I drawled out, "Naw man…I see everything. Now get the fuck off him."

Dimitri grumbled as he shoved the kid's head into the concrete floor one more time before lunging at me. I quickly moved outta the way, giving me leverage as he tried to swing back around.

But before he could turn all the way around, the boy came up from behind him and jabbed him in the neck with something.

Dimitri stopped as the blood starting gushing from his neck and he began staggering as he choked on his own blood.

He fell to the ground and I just watched as the life slipped out of him. Then the kid bent down and carefully pulled the object from his neck. He turned and opened the door to the boiler with his hand in his shirt, so he didn't touch anything. Then he tossed the object in the fire and shut the door back.

The kid looked up at me with wide green eyes and whispered with uncertainty, "Did you see anything, Jasper?"

I shook my head and smiled a real smile, "I didn't see shit…and you can call me Whit…"

He smiled back, "Cool. I'm Mase…let's get outta here."

:::

But the sound of the shot brought me back to reality as I saw the girl slump to the ground and the blood splatter. His hand was on my arm, yanking me away and pulling me out the door.

I paused for a split second when I saw the red and black Vanquish parked by the curb and then just shook my head as I jumped in the passenger side cuz this car just fuckin' screamed Masen.

A moment later another shot rang out and the back window shattered just as he shifted the car and peeled away from the curb. I turned and aimed both of my pieces but we sped away so fast that the little sheriff quickly became nothing but a blur.

He raced through the town down every backwoods road like he knew exactly where we were going.

I smiled and pulled down my bandana, "What the fuck, Masen? What the hell's going on? The news said you were…"

And then he yanked up the ski mask and I took a sharp breath…he was fuckin'…

_Beautiful…I'm in so much fuckin trouble…_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N :**** Okay, so here's what happened...I wasn't happy with where this story was going and got a little off track...that's what happens when you write really, really stoned and have no outline, lol. Anyway, I am revising this story now that I have it planned out and hopefully it will flow a little smoother. I apologize to those that have already read it but I just wasn't happy with it and that whole OCD thing took over. **

**A big, big thanks to Imbatnan for being an awesome beta for this story! She fixes all my mistakes and keeps my shit in order. Thanks, hon, I appreciate it. **

**Chapter Two : **

**He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. **

**: Friedrich Nietszche**

**Jasper's POV**

I closed my eyes for a second to focus my thoughts cuz he may have grown into one fine mother fucker, but he was also the craziest son of a bitch I had ever known.

He smiled and I gulped at the crooked grin and bright forest green eyes that invaded my fuckin' dreams damn near every night…but his face was different now…more mature.

_Even more beautiful…_

I'm the grown up though…he can't have that fuckin' power over me anymore…I gotta fight it…

_But I don't wanna fight it…I'm tired of being caged in…_

He laughed as he weaved down the country back roads like he was on rails, "You thought I was dead?"

I furrowed my brows and spit out, "Quit fuckin' laughing! Yeah I thought you were dead! I saw it on the fuckin' news! They said you were in a car accident…that you drove off a fuckin' cliff!"

Smirking, he rolled his eyes, "Edward _Cullen _died, Jasper."

He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a pair of dark sunglasses, slipping them over his wild, bright eyes and smiled, "This is the rebirth of Edward Masen."

I just stared at him for a minute. He was insane…I mean, I'm one fucked up mother fucker so if I think this son of a bitch is insane, that oughta tell ya something.

"You faked it?"

_Of course he faked it…_

He laughed again, "Jasper, you really should have known better. Did you forget that I'm indestructible?"

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes and laugh. Masen always had thought he was untouchable. Even as children, he would test fate again and again and he always won. Sometimes I daydreamed if maybe he really was some kind of supernatural villain that possessed all sorts of evil superpowers…but I had to fight against that temptation because that kind of freedom, the kind that comes with believing in the unbelievable, it gave you power…and power breeds corruption.

He reached over and grabbed my hand, his long fingers curved around mine, "I missed you, Jasper."

_Corrupt me any time…_

Fighting the urge to hold his hand, I squeezed it back for just a second before pulling away and mumbling, "Yeah...um…me too."

Part of me missed him…but if I'm being honest, he scared me…

_Fascinated me…_

Being around him was gonna be too hard…I had control issues as it was but Mase fueled the fire…maintaining a normal life was an everyday struggle that I lost more times than I'd like to admit…I had missed him, but he was bad for me…

_In the best ways possible…_

He let out a sigh, "Are you still fighting it?"

I crinkled my eyes in frustration as I stared out the window, seeing nothing but streaks of green from the forest, "Edward? We're on the fuckin' run right now, so please don't start with the psychoanalyzing bullshit okay?"

He laughed as he pulled his glasses down and looked at me from over the top, his bright green eyes twinkling in amusement, "Oh, cut the shit, Jasper. You like me. You've always liked me. I'm a mother fucking rock star."

Typical Masen…he always thought he was the greatest thing that ever walked the earth…

'_Cuz he is…_

Huffing in frustration, I snarl, "Mase, try and get a grip on reality for a minute, man…we just robbed a bank…you shot a fuckin' girl…"

And then my anger starting burning and I growled, "You fuckin' promised that you wouldn't kill anyone that didn't deserve it!"

_Psh, she deserved it…_

He just smirked, "I was thirteen when I said that…and besides…she totally deserved it."

My mind struggled to catch up, "What? Did you know her?"

Again, he laughed, "You could say that. She was my girlfriend."

_See, bitch deserved it…_

I didn't even know how to think about that but it worried me a little that the first thought that ran through my mind was that the bitch _did _deserve it.

Looking over at him, I shook my head in confusion, "Your fuckin' girlfriend?"

He sighed, "Yes. Her name was Bella and she was the most innately dull and annoying little lamb I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. I swear, the first time she walked into my Biology class and sat down next to me, I spent the entire class daydreaming of a million ways I could kill her and get away with it. I mean, she smelled like cheap strawberry body spray from K-Mart…it was disgusting…"

Looking over at me, his blood red lips quirked into a wicked crooked grin, "Besides, I like much more masculine smells…like musk and sweat…"

_Mother fuck…_

I huffed, "God damn it, Masen!"

This was hard enough without the teasing little remarks and cocky smirks…

Now he huffed back, "What? She fucking deserved it! I told her I was the bad guy! I warned her and she wouldn't stay away! What the fuck was I supposed to do? You know I'm a masochistic fuck and not only did the girl try everything she could think of to get me to fuck her but her dad was the mother fucking sheriff! How can you expect me to stay away from that?"

_You fucked her?_

And I couldn't help that burning in the pit of my stomach, "You fucked her?"

I squeezed my eyes shut to avoid the smirk that I knew was on the bastard's face, "Why are you so interested in my sex life, Jasper?"

_Cuz that ass is mine…_

Groaning, I glared at him as I fought all the images of naked Mase that played behind my eyelids like 1970's porn movies, "Fuck you, Masen! We're in this shit for fuckin' murder now! A god damn sheriff's daughter! How the fuck are we gonna get outta this?"

And then we were swerving off the road onto some barely there dirt path and I grabbed onto the dash to keep from falling. His knuckles were white from his death grip on the steering wheel. He looked straight ahead and spoke so calmly that it kinda scared the shit outta me, "Don't I always have a plan, Whit? Do you think I'd pull you into something that I thought might hurt you? You're my best friend…"

_I know, Mase…_

Rolling my eyes, I sighed, already tired of fighting with myself, "Yeah, right. You only liked me cuz I didn't snitch on you…"

The car jerked as he skidded off the road and we were riding through the fuckin' forest, snapping tree limbs and branches as he swerved around larger obstacles. And I saw that we were driving dangerously close to the edge of the cliff and I wanted to say something but he was mumbling, "I can't believe you would say that to me…"

_I didn't mean it…_

A minute later the car came skidding to a stop and he threw open the door and stormed out. I laid my head against the headrest and closed my eyes. And I could see memories this time being played behind my eyelids like an old home movie…the kind that you watch when you're an adult and see yourself as a child, knowing that it's you there on the screen but having absolutely no real memory of it happening…

...

_The boy with the fiery red hair smiled, "Cool. Let's get outta here."_

_I could feel the anxiety starting to grow as I looked around and mumbled, "The only way out is the stairs to the upper hallway…someone's bound to see us."_

_He shook his head and laughed, "Uh uh…I know another way. Come on."_

_Following along behind him, we weaved our way through the old boiler room like he had a fuckin' map. Soon we came to a small window so high up that we couldn't reach it._

_Turning to me with a crooked grin, he smiled "Help me up and then I'll help you."_

_I paused for a moment because I had no reason to trust this kid. I just saw him stab a guy in the fuckin' neck and it doesn't even seem to bother him…but honestly it didn't bother me much either._

_He looked up at me and I couldn't help but focus on how bright his eyes were…even in the dimly lit basement I could see every shade of green that swirled around vividly._

_It reminded me of Kryptonite from the Superman movies._

_"I know you have no reason to trust me…but I would never mess you over. You stuck up for me against that asshole…the last person that ever stuck up for me was my mom…"_

_Then he laughed, "Besides…I'm a pretty good person to have in your corner."_

_I took a breath and quietly asked, "What'd you stab Dimitri with?"_

_His smile lit up the dark room almost as much as his eyes, "A plastic comb. I burned the end until it was pointed…my dad taught me how. And since it's plastic, there won't be anything left for anyone to find."_

_I shivered because he talked like he was proud about what he just did._

_"You killed him."_

_He rolled his eyes, "He deserved it."_

_I shook my head, "What did he do?"_

_Sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair while he squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose, "I saw him…_hurt _one of the other boys in my room last night. He's, what, fifteen?"_

_I nodded and he looked back up at me, his green eyes searching mine, "My room is for boys 5 to 10 years old. He was a monster who needed to be destroyed. The only thing that can kill a monster is an even bigger one. Why should I feel anything for ending the life of a monster?"_

_I knew what he said about Dimitri was true. There were a handful of older boys that did real bad things to some of the younger ones…and every year it seemed one of the younger victims got older and became a monster himself. Maybe this kid was right._

_In fact, I thought it was kind of noble and it made me extremely curious about this crazy little boy who talked more like a grown up than a kid._

_Before I could say anything, he was leaning back against the stone wall with a curious gleam in his eye and a cocky half smirk, "You're Jasper Whitlock, right?"_

_"How'd you know my last name?"_

_He smiled, "I overheard some of the staff talking about you. They said you were…unstable. Something about you nearly killing a boy last year but the investigation came up inconclusive so they couldn't prosecute."_

_And something just struck me as funny and I giggled, "They didn't know if he fell, jumped, or got pushed outta that window…trust me, he totally deserved it."_

_Raising an eyebrow, he smiled, "What did he do?"_

_My laughter stopped and I shuddered again, "He was a monster."_

_I refused to let thoughts of him creep into my mind but luckily Mase nudged me and smiled, "Our kind has to stick together. So, are you gonna help me outta this window?"_

_And so I nodded, "Yeah…just promise you'll help me up."_

_He smiled brilliantly, "I swear."_

_I clasped my fingers together so he could step up and reach the window. It took a minute for him to get it unstuck but soon he was crawling through it. I held my breath as I watched him pull himself through…and then I could breathe again when he stuck his head back through and smiled, "Come on, Jasper."_

_Reaching his hand down, I smiled as I grabbed it cuz most people never kept their promises._

_A minute later I was pulling myself through the window and into the alley._

_It was really dark outside now and I looked up at the huge brick building and scratched my head, "Um, Mase? How the hell are we s'posed to get back in?"_

_He grabbed my hand and started pulling me further down the alley, "Back here…there's a pull down ladder but I can't reach it. Give me a boost."_

_I helped him reach the ladder and soon we were climbing up to the roof of the home. Once we reached the top, I took a minute to catch my breath and he smiled as he turned in circles with his arms stretched out, "I hate being caged up like an animal…I need to be free…feel the air around me…see the bright lights from the city…"_

_The boy was spinning dangerously close to the edge and I reached out and grabbed him as my heart jumped, "Jesus Christ, man…be fuckin' careful."_

_He stopped and started giggling as he fell on his ass, dizzy from his spinning, "Why are you so worried about me? I'm a monster, remember? The only thing that can kill a monster is a bigger monster...I am virtually indestructible. I guarantee you that if I stepped off that ledge…I'd totally fly."_

_I looked down at the small, pale boy and wondered what in the fuck happened that could've caused this little kid to lose his mother fuckin' mind._

_He smiled as he shyly played with his shoelaces, and the image struck me because right now he didn't look like some maniacal little psychopath…he looked like a normal, unsure, shy kid…_

_"I've been coming up here every night. You should start coming up here with me…keep me company. It's really easy to sneak out of the sleeping rooms…I'll show you where to go."_

_It's not like I had anything better to do and to be honest, he was the first kid that ever really showed any kinda interest in talkin to me…_

_So I shrugged, "Sure, but um, we should get back in there 'fore someone notices us missin'."_

_His eyes were dark, the bright light now gone as he took a deep breath and sighed, "Okay."_

_He showed me the way in through an old access door to the roof and then we threaded through a ton of doors and hallways until he stopped and began crawling through an old duct that led above the rooms._

_Then he pulled back the ceiling panel and I saw that we were in the upstairs bathroom right down the hall from our sleeping areas. _

_It was kind of a far jump down and I worried that he might not be able to make it without my help so I put my arm in front of him and whispered, "Me first, I'm taller and I'll help you down."_

_The little shit stuck up his nose like a petulant child, "I can do it on my own. I'm not a little kid."_

_I smiled and nudged him in the ribs, "I wasn't callin' you a little kid, Mase…I was callin' you short."_

_He snorted and threw his hands up over his mouth to hide the laughter. I carefully jumped down to the floor with a soft thud and motioned for him to jump down._

_I held out my arms and he didn't hesitate to jump down to me. I grabbed him around the waist and eased him down to the floor. Then I lifted him up again so he could pull the ceiling panel back in place. _

_Poking my head out , I saw that everything was clear for us and nodded for him to follow me down the hallway to the sleeping rooms, where we'd have to separate. _

_Once we got there, I leaned down and whispered, "Be safe, Mase."_

_And then his face just broke into the silliest little crooked grin but it was genuine, "You too, Jasper. See you tomorrow."_

_And I started to turn and leave to my room but I knew if I didn't ask, it would drive me crazy all night, so I turned and whispered, "Hey Mase?"_

_He looked up at me with big curious eyes, "Yeah?"_

"_What's your real name? I mean, you know mine…"_

_For a minute he just looked at me like he was trying to read my mind for foul intentions…but then he looked down at the floor and whispered, "Edward Masen…but don't call me Edward…"_

_I wanted to know why I couldn't call him by his name but it was easy to see that it bothered him so I just dropped it…and asked something else instead…_

_"How'd you know about that window? And the roof? And how did ya think ya was gonna be able to reach it without someone there to help you?"_

_The boy seemed too smart to put himself in a situation he couldn't get out of…so that meant he planned on someone else being down in that boiler room with him…_

_Maybe he was looking for me…but why would anyone look for me…_

_He smirked and I could see his eyes sparkle as he leaned in and whispered, "People think I'm crazy but really I'm just smarter than they are. I knew you'd be down in the boiler room before lights out to smoke your cigarette as you do every single night. I know this because I'm very observant. I watch over all the little lambs that wander half sleeping through their miserable meaningless lives…but you're no lamb, Whit…I just had a feeling you'd help me because somewhere deep down, I think you're tired of sleepwalking…tired of putting on the mask of indifference to the bland stone walls that lock you in…I think you just need someone to show you what's real…open your pretty blue eyes to the world around you, Jasper…wake up…"_

_The little crazy fucker set me up and I huffed, "Lots of guys go down there and smoke…why'd you choose me? What if I would'a said no?"_

_He smiled, "Jasper…mythological creatures are far stronger when they're together. That's why vampires and witches have covens…werewolves have packs…don't you get it? We're not like them, the weak innocent ones sleeping in their beds, afraid to look up from their pillows…we're above them…we're smarter…we're not afraid…in a world of predators and prey…we're the predators…the killers…we're the biggest of the monsters…we can do anything we want because no one can stop us. All you have to do is quit fighting it and let go…and you'll be able to do that soon, I promise. Good night, Jasper. See you tomorrow."_

_I felt my skin erupt in goose bumps as I whispered, "Yeah…night, Edward."_

_Groaning, he whispered, "I told you not to call me that…"_

_But I just smiled cuz for whatever reason, he chose me…it made me feel like maybe I mattered…gave me confidence, "I'm no fuckin lamb…I'll call you what I want…"_

_That made him giggle as he nodded with a big genuine grin, "Okay, good night asshole…"_

_Now I chuckled as he started sneaking away, "Night, dick head…"_

_And as I laid in my bed that night and stared at the cracks in the ceiling, I found myself thinking of his words over and over again. The thought of not being alone was kinda nice…_

_And again I was worried…because I couldn't help but feel strangely powerful as I thought about how he described us…and I couldn't wait until tomorrow so I could talk to him some more._

_::_

I groaned as I banged my head back against the head rest. I hurt his feelings. I knew that he didn't like me because I didn't snitch on him. He liked me because he thought we were the same.

Maybe we were.

_Just because you can't remember it, don't mean you don't feel it…_

Huffing, I swung open the door and jumped out. Edward was leaning against a tree smoking a cigarette and I sighed as I walked up to him, "Can I bum one?"

He handed me his pack of squares and I lit one up, taking a long slow drag and breathing it out.

"I'm sorry, Edward. You _are _my best friend and I _did _miss you."

Being so close to him was starting to wear down my senses as he whispered, "Don't you remember what I told you the last time I saw you?"

My eyes closed with the strength of the memory as it came rushing back to me.

::

_Edward and I had grown really close over the last three years. I knew all about him…he knew all about me. I knew how I was supposed to feel about him…I shoulda felt like a big brother or something…but over the last year, I hated the way he made me feel because it was far from brotherly._

_And he was just a kid, so did that make me a monster?_

_I was only a monster if I acted on it…if I admitted it…so I held it down and fought it off every time he was near. I also started fooling around with one of the other boys my own age, Peter. But when my skin became flushed and I started getting goose bumps every time Edward's leg or arm brushed mine…I knew that I was the biggest monster._

_We were in the same room now and we snuck out together every night to go to the roof and chill. Tonight would be the last time because tomorrow he was being adopted by the Cullen's and moving somewhere up north._

_We sat on the ledge and dangled our feet out over the edge as we shared a cigarette. The night was chilly for Texas and I watched him shiver in his white t-shirt and pajama pants._

_I took a breath and raised my arm, nodding for him to snuggle up to me. He smiled and whispered 'thanks' as he buried his face into my chest and I wrapped my arms around him. _

_He whispered as he shivered, "I don't want to leave you. Let's just run, Jasper…let's leave together now.."_

_I closed my eyes and shook my head, "No, Edward. You got a chance at something good…a mom and dad…school and friends…a normal life. You're only thirteen…you can still change…be good…"_

_Huffing, he looked up at me, "I don't wanna change…I'm fucking awesome. Everybody else sucks. And I don't want normal…I don't want a fake mom and dad…my mom and dad are dead…I just wanna run away with you and live like circus people or gypsies."_

_I sighed, "Promise me, Edward. Promise me you're gonna try really fuckin' hard to just live a normal life…I'm gonna be stuck here and I'm gonna go crazy if I think that you're out there on your own…without me…doing crazy shit that can get you hurt or killed or put away for the rest of your life. Promise me you're not gonna kill anyone."_

_He furrowed his brows as he looked out over the ledge, "I haven't killed anyone in over two years, Jasper. And I promise that I won't kill anyone unless they really, really deserve it. I'll try, okay? I'll try really, really hard to be good."_

_Plastering a miserable smile to my face, I looked out over the dark city, "You should be happy, Edward. You're leavin' this place…I'd give anything to get the fuck outta here…"_

_His eyes looked up at me, dark and bruised purple underneath, "I'd rather stay here with you. You're all I have left. I don't even know how to be around other people…I can fake it, I guess, but I like being able to be myself…being around you makes me happy…I wasn't happy for a long time before you showed up…now I'm gonna be unhappy again…but for you, I will try because you're my best friend, Jasper, and I would do anything for you."_

_I knew that he had really bad spells with depression, sometimes not getting out of bed for days. And it pissed me off that no one but me seemed to notice or care. The home was understaffed and under funded…and sometimes they chose to just ignore the problems and fixing them with a temporary band aid. _

_And I knew that Mase got off on being the bad little demon spawn I've come to know and love but it's because I love him that I have to try and look out for him. There's a part of him, very deep down inside that just needs someone to love him and hug him when he needs it or to rub his hair till he falls asleep when he's _

_I nudged him and smiled softly, "Don't worry, Edward…you're a mother fuckin rock star, remember? You'll be fine."_

_He smiled up at me weakly and then sighed deeply as he looked back out over the ledge, "Hey Jasper?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Can I ask you something?"_

_"Sure, Edward, anything."_

_And I about fell off the mother fuckin' ledge cuz Edward Masen was fuckin' blushing. I was kinda dumbfounded for a minute because it was a very, very rare thing to see him get shy about something._

_He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Um…well, I was just…curious…about you and…um…Peter…"_

_I felt my stomach sink, I didn't think anyone knew about me and Peter and I especially didn't want Edward knowing about it._

_My eyes dropped to my hands in my lap as my body went up in flames, "Curious about what?"_

_"Well…do you like boys? Or are you just…doing stuff with him because there are no girls here?"_

_I wasn't expecting that question and I looked over at him for a minute as he looked up at me with wide green eyes and pink cheeks on his ivory face._

_"I guess…I, um…might like both. I've never…done anything with a girl but I probably would if I could…but I'd be with a guy too if I wanted him."_

_With really soft green wide eyes, he looked up at me again and asked, "Do you want Peter?"_

_I want you…_

_Shaking my head, slowly, I close my eyes to fight the temptation to just…kiss him…_

_"No, not really…but he's…here."_

_He looked back down over the ledge and mumbled, "I'm here."_

_The sin of temptation…_

_I moved my arm from around him and pulled out a cigarette. I couldn't deal with this shit because I felt like enough of a monster already._

_"You're a kid, Edward."_

_Sighing with an annoyed huff, Mase rolled his eyes and there was the little monster I had come to know and love, "Three years isn't that much of a difference…if I was 20 and you were 23, it wouldn't be a big deal…besides, look at me…I'm already a fox and I'm only gonna get better looking with age, Jasper…"_

_I took a drag and handed the square to him, "But I'm 16 and you're 13...trust me, Mase…it's a big fuckin' difference."_

_He looked up at me again as he furrowed his brows in frustration, "Don't you like me?"_

_I couldn't help but chuckle at his little temper tantrum…it was kinda adorable when he acted like a little brat sometimes, "Yeah, of course I like you…but not like that…"_

_Liar…_

_"Will you kiss me?"_

_YES! YES! FUCK YES!_

_My head shot up and I shook my head, "Fuck, no!"_

_"Do you like Peter more than me? Do you think he's better looking?"_

_I was getting flustered, "No…"_

_He smiled, "So you like me more than Peter and you think I'm better looking but you don't want to kiss me like you do him?"_

_The little fucker always had a way of twisting my words. I groaned, frustrated, "Edward, that's not what I meant and you know it…"_

_"Jasper?"_

_God, I was already tired of fighting it…_

_"Hmm?"_

_"Why do you fight it so much?"_

_Now it was my turn to furrow my brows, as I had one of those little moments again…those moments where I wondered if he really was some supernatural mind reader…but I would just deny how much I fought my feelings for him cuz I can't give Mase that kinda power over me…I'd never survive in one piece…_

_"Fight what?"_

_He smiled that cocky crooked grin, "How you feel about me…you're not like Dimitri…you're not that kind of monster."_

_I could feel my heart beating like crazy in my chest because the fucker always knew what I was thinking._

_"Edward…you're leavin' tomorrow and…we're friends, okay? We'll always be friends but we can never be nothin' else…" _

_I took a deep breath and inhaled his scent in one more time before I mumbled, "We better get back inside."_

_He sighed in defeat and soon we were back in our room. He was lying in the bed across from me and I could feel his eyes on me as I tried to sleep but the reality of him leaving was hitting me like a ton of bricks…tomorrow he'd be gone and I'd be alone again._

_I closed my eyes and finally started to fall into a fretful sleep when I felt a hand nudging my shoulder and the sound of his voice in my ear, "Jasper? Jasper? Wake up…"_

_Turning my head, I cracked my eyes open to see his bright green ones staring back, "I can't sleep…can I lay with you for just a few minutes?"_

_I took a breath and even half asleep I knew that wasn't a good idea, "Edward…I don't think…"_

_"Please? Please, Jasper…"_

_His voice cracked and I looked into his eyes again, seeing how they glistened and I groaned because I had only seen him cry one time before and I really couldn't handle that shit._

_I sighed and nodded, scooting over and lifting the blanket. He smiled brilliantly and slipped underneath. Even fooling around with Peter, I never allowed myself to be close…to hold him or touch him for anything other than getting off. I really had no desire to anyway._

_It wasn't smart to be this close to Edward…it made my body react in ways that made me crazy._

_But I pulled the blanket off of me anyway and laid my legs down across it. Edward looked up at me confused and I smiled as I felt my cheeks burn, "You can lay with me but I'm staying on top of the covers."_

_He furrowed his brows and just shook his head as he snuggled up to me. I had my arms behind my head as I stared at the ceiling again and tried not to focus on the hot, little breaths against my neck._

_I shuddered as he whispered, "Hold me…"_

_Shaking my head, not looking at him, my voice broke as I fought the urges off, "I can't…"_

_He huffed and whispered, "You hold me all the time…you hug me…you touch my arms and play with me…please…I don't know when I'm gonna see you again…please, Jasper…"_

_I looked over at him and our faces were close enough that only a couple inches and our lips would be together. It caught me off guard and I started to say something but was unable to form any words._

_Reaching up, he gently tugged my hands from behind my head and placed them around him and I was powerless to stop him…just like always…and just like always, I didn't really wanna stop him._

_Closing his eyes, he smiled with a satisfied hum, "There…that's not so bad is it?"_

_I didn't say anything cuz I didn't trust what I'd say so I just closed my eyes and buried my nose in the top of his crazy bronze colored hair, breathing him in._

_We were quiet and I thought he had maybe fallen asleep…I took a few deep breaths and was kinda surprised that I found a peaceful sleep so quickly._

_The next time thing I remember, my warmth was pulling away from me and I gasped as I pulled it back and mumbled, "Don't go…stay with me…"_

_I heard a soft laugh and felt long fingers brushing through my messy curls, "I knew you wanted me…"_

_Groaning, I pulled him back, holding him tight because half asleep and dazed, I didn't even try to put up a fight._

_Then I felt his breath on my ear and I shuddered again as he whispered, "I'll find you, Jasper…as soon as I'm old enough…and the next time I see you…you're gonna kiss me first…"_

_Then I was enveloped in warmth as smooth strong lips brushed mine. I was drowning, delirious with desire for something I couldn't have…I gasped and shot up in my bed, only to wake up alone. I looked over and saw his bed, perfectly made._

_He was gone and I was stuck, living in a dream of his lips and eyes and my own guilt and disgust._

_I threw myself back in my bed and startled when I felt the crinkle of paper underneath me._

_Reaching underneath my pillow, I pulled out a crumbled piece of paper. I took a few deep breaths before unfolding it and reading his messy handwriting…_

_'Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires…I will burn in agony without you…I will burn for entirely different reasons when we are together again…_

_-Masen'_

_I clutched the paper and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to relive the feeling of his lips against mine and forget it, all at the same time…I wasn't sure if I had dreamed it but it burned… and it was excruciatingly agonizing…_

_And blissfully amazing…_

::

I looked up and felt the guilt eat away at me again as I spoke softly, "I thought it was…"

He smiled, "A dream?"

I nodded and he laughed, "It wasn't a dream, Jasper…though I have my suspicions that you dreamed of me quite often after that. I told you I would find you…still waiting on my kiss though…"

_Fuckin' kiss him…_

I had to shake my head to free up the thoughts that were running through my mind. Images of those blood red lips on mine and those long, wicked fingers pulling me closer had completely sidetracked me again…just like when we were kids…I had to push those dreams of things I couldn't have outta my mind and try to focus…

Soon enough, I was angry again at him for always pulling me into his crazy, beautiful unreal world, "Masen? Do you understand what we just did? We don't have time for this shit! We need to get the fuck outta here!"

He rolled his eyes and pushed away from the tree, "You've always worried entirely too much. Come on, grab your shit from the car…I've got another one hid not too far from here. We'll ditch this one and be back on the road again in no time."

I walked back to the car and grabbed the duffle bag, stuffing my guns in it, before zipping it closed and throwing it over my neck.

He opened the driver's side door and revved the engine a few times before lodging a large rock down onto the gas pedal.

Then he shifted and jumped out of the way as the Vanquish went full force over the edge of the cliff and crashed into the water and rocks below.

He leaned over the edge and looked down, sighing, "I loved that car…such a shame…"

I felt my heart jump as he leaned further and further. I reached out and grabbed him, yanking him to me and huffing, "Quit getting so fuckin' close to the damn edge!"

Raising an eyebrow, he wiggled away from me, "You know me, Whit…I love to teeter dangerously close to the edge…"

He laughed as he began walking backwards along the edge of the cliff, not looking at where he was going but staring at me. His intense green eyes bore into mine, making my whole body feel like it was caught in an inferno.

I could feel my heart beating out of my chest as I reached out my hand, "Don't, Mase…please…"

With bright eyes and a killer smile, he chuckled, "Aww…come on, Jasper…don't you wanna see me fly?"

If he fell, it would kill me.

I took a few steps closer, "I know it wouldn't kill you, Edward…but please stop. We need to get going…"

He sighed and rolled his eyes again, "Fine. Follow me."

He stormed off through the dense forest, with me following along behind him. After a few minutes, he turned to me and sighed, "I didn't want to kill her…Bella, I mean. I wasn't expecting her and Charlie to be there. But she recognized me as we were getting ready to leave…she started to say my name so I didn't have a choice. She didn't deserve to die, even if she was annoying as fuck and cheated on me with that little-pricked bastard, Jacob…"

My heart ached as I looked at him, "Did you…care about her?"

I knew he didn't love her…he's not capable…

He smiled, "No. She was my way of trying to fit in…behave like a "normal" teenager…"

I nodded and we continued walking but the thought was gnawing at me and I couldn't help but blurt out, "Did you sleep with her?"

He didn't look at me as he kept walking, "Why do you wanna know?"

I huffed, "Cuz we're best friends and I um…I just wanna know!"

_Real smooth, Jasper…_

He smiled and looked at me, again rolling his eyes and drawing out, "_Right_…_friends_…I slept with her all the time, Jasper…"

The wind left my chest and I clenched it because it hurt. And then I stormed by him, "So, you found me? Why? I thought you were gonna try and live a 'normal life'? You promised!"

His voice grew louder now as he caught up with me and grabbed my arm, "I did try! I was the mother fucking prom king! I was on the track team! I baked cookies and learned how to play the piano…I fucking tried, okay! It's not who I am! I couldn't be that! I couldn't deny my nature anymore! I fucking missed you! I thought of you every moment of every day! I thought you would be happy to see me!"

I glared into his green eyes, "How the hell did…how'd you know I was gonna be at that bank? Did you set me up?"

He glared right back, toe to toe with me, "I would never set you up, Jasper. I just needed to see you again. And my cousin, Emmett, he's friends with James Hunter."

My breath caught and I whispered, "James?"

Nodding, he spoke quietly, "Yeah. You did time together in a prison in Chicago, right?"

I nodded, "Um, yeah…I was in for robbery."

He smiled, "I know."

"You had James tell me about bank…"

Again, a nod, "Yep."

And I knew that I was missing something from the story because I couldn't piece it together, "Masen? You led me to a fuckin' bank robbery? What the fuck did you get me into now?"

His eyes snapped to mine and I drew a quick breath at the deep green glare that was caused my whole world to spin on it's axis and change direction…it made me feel a little…crazy…

He spat out as he started backing me into a tree, "I didn't get you into anything! I didn't force you to rob the bank! I didn't even ask you too! I needed to see you! I thought that you'd want to see me! I have been getting crazier and crazier because for four years, I have done nothing but want you! I have nightmares of baby blue eyes that won't look at me and dirty blonde curls walking away from me! You are the only thing I have ever wanted that I can't have and I have been going outta my fucking mind! Tell me that you fucking want me, Jasper! Quit lying to…"

But the fire in my veins from his hard body pressed against mine and his face so close and looking absolutely…_killer_…well, it was just too much and I grabbed his face and crashed it to mine…effectively shutting him the hell up.

And everything else around me faded away as I was swept up in an unrelenting inferno as our teeth clanged and our tongues collided feverishly, it was sloppy and desperate and maddening.

I clenched his wild bronze hair between my fingers and I groaned into his sinful mouth as he yanked roughly on my curls. His short nails scratched at my neck and shoulders and dug into my skin, and the sting shot through my body. I turned, grabbing his leg and yanking it up on my hip as I shoved him against the tree.

He gasped and moaned my name into my ear before attacking my already swollen lips; nipping and tugging on them with his teeth before plunging his long tongue into my willing mouth again.

_Mase tasted like coffee…no, something fancier…like that foamy coffee…and cigarettes…fuck, I loved it…_

My hand on his leg slid up over his jean covered ass and I squeezed unabashedly.

Groaning into my mouth, his hands fell to my zipper…and I then I heard it.

I broke from the kiss with a gasp, "Fuck…choppers…you hear 'em?"

He held his breath because he was panting and quickly nodded, "Yeah, we need to go."

Pushing off the tree, he gasped, "Now!"

We took off running through the forest as the helicopters got louder and louder.

He yelled as he ran, "Jasper? Would you be mad at me if I said we had to jump?"

My eyes got big and instinctively I yelled back, "Fuck yeah I would!"

But the silly bastard just smiled, "Okay, then I won't say it…"

And then the sound of shots being fired rang through the forest. So I thought for just a second…is it better to go by gunshot or die on impact from the rocks that lay along the bottom of the, more than likely, shallow river below?

_Neither…dyin's for suckers…_

I groaned and grabbed his hand, "Fuck it, Mase…let's fly."

He smiled brilliantly and suddenly all the weight lifted from my shoulders and I couldn't help but smile back as we ran full force to the edge of the cliff, not hesitating one bit as we leapt off.

We didn't fly…which wasn't entirely surprising but a little disappointing. And when that water hit, it felt like a thousand sharp knives cutting into me, the October air not making it any better as I gasped.

When I got my bearings, I looked up and couldn't believe that we had made that jump. I looked over to Edward…but he wasn't there.

I started to panic when I felt his warm breath against my ear, "I was right…you totally kissed me first this time. And by the way…I'm still a virgin."

And then the fucker started laughing as he swam like a mother fuckin' pro to the river bank.

_Not for long, Mase…not for long…_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N : A big thanks to Imbatnan for being the bestest beta ever and making sense of all my loopy thoughts! **

**Song inspiration : Demolition Lovers by My Chemical Romance**

**Chapter Three : **

**What if I'm not the superhero? What if I'm the bad guy? **

**Masen's POV**

I snuck up behind him and leaned into his ear. With a cocky grin, I relished in the tiny hairs that stood on the back of his neck at my mere presence.

In a velvet voice, I whispered, "I was right…you totally kissed me first this time. And by the way…I'm still a virgin."

_But not for long…_

I smirked as I saw the tips of his ears turn red and heard a small gasp fall from his lips.

And it was these reactions that egged me on…because I knew that if he'd just give in to me…we would be fucking _epic_.

We quickly got out of the water and I grabbed his hand as I took off running, "We gotta go! It's not much farther!"

He rasped out, "What's not much further?"

I smiled, "The cave."

Laughing, his baby blue eyes sparkled, "What the fuck are we doin'?"

He wasn't mad at me anymore. I hated it when he was mad at me but I know one thing about Jasper…I may always dance happily along the edge but sometimes he needed a little push…and when he was pushed to the edge, the fucker enjoyed it just as much as I did.

I loved it when he let go…it was only then that he was truly free.

Smirking over at him, I chuckled, "Would you rather serve in Heaven or reign in Hell?"

He smiled, "I ain't servin' shit."

_There's my crazy boy…_

I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the left, we were almost there. I looked over at him and smiled, "Would you follow me if I said I was the devil and we were going home?"

And I saw that little gleam in those icy blue eyes that I had craved for four long years. They filled me with hope that just maybe he felt the same way about me as I did him.

"I think I'd follow you damn near anywhere, Mase…"

_Damn, I missed him…_

And even though I heard the faint hint of helicopter blades slicing through the air and the sound of the earth being chopped into bits underneath our feet by the ripping bullets searching desperately for us…I was lost in a memory of the day that changed my whole world…the day _after _I met Jasper…

::

_Everything had gone with Dimitri, just as I had planned. Having just spent the last year of my life being removed from four different children's homes…I was relieved to finally be in this place._

_I'd get a chance to just let loose and see what I could do._

_They moved me to Texas under a protective order after they finally figured out that someone was trying to kill me. They had no idea who it was…but I did._

_Aro was an old family friend…but more importantly, he was my father's meth dealer. _

_Why my mother married my father, I will never know. The man was a sniveling mess but I suppose at one time, he was a top dealer with the local Chicago mob scene. _

_Being Irish, he didn't exactly walk into the position…but my mother had strong familial connections with some of the oldest members of the family. So apparently, when she became pregnant with me, her uncles decided to help her out and put my father in charge of the Chicago drug trade._

_They were living the high life until my father's addictions crumbled their perfect castle._

_But it was never perfect for me. _

_I was an arrogant little bastard from the time of conception…I grew up with a life of privilege and a sense of entitlement._

_My family wasn't rich but we were well above middle class. _

_Family meant '_everything' _to them, but ironically enough, it was all bullshit. I'm enough of a condescending asshole to blame my downfall entirely on my parents who failed to love me enough as a child._

_Not that I entirely blame their lack of love for me on them being selfish, fucked up bastards…Aro had helped me realize that I was completely unlovable. _

_Beauty and the Beast is just a stupid children's fairy tale. In real life, no one can love a monster… _

_But I digress…_

_Jasper walking into that boiler room was totally planned. Otherwise he would've ended up alongside Dimitri but I admit, he intrigued me…_

_Those empty blue eyes had etched themselves into my mind as I watched him through out the day whenever the opportunity arose…_

_Monsters must learn to master hiding in the shadows._

_From what his file said, I had expected a furious dragon and not the zombie pup that droned along the hallways seemingly oblivious to everything around him…he would spend hours tucked away on the big soft chair in the rec room, legs pulled up underneath him, arms wrapped tight around his knees and those clear blue eyes wide open but seeing nothing that was in front of him…he saw something besides the dank, cracked pea green paint on the walls and the tattered, shit brown carpet that covered the cement floor…_

_After a little research I found that he was being very heavily medicated and I didn't think that was fair. This kid was supposed to be a beast, not a puppy so I decided that he should wake up. Besides, who do these assholes think they are to decide that a kid needs to be so medicated that he can barely even walk just because he's a little violent? _

_Maybe they should just learn to quit pissing him off…_

_So I figured that if I befriended him, I could teach him a few tricks, like how to make it look like you swallowed your medication without actually taking it._

_Because at night time, after the afternoon meds wore off, he crept to the boiler room for a square and I would watch the white smoke billow from his nostrils like the furious dragon I knew he was supposed to be…_

_I wanted an opportunity to talk with the blue eyed boy…to test him… _

_So when Jasper stood up for me, I saw the beast I dreamt of seeing and I really hoped my plan would work out…but still I held the knife against my thigh and asked him if he had seen anything…hoping that he would say no._

_I was pleased when he shook his head and said he didn't see shit._

_Tucking my knife into my pocket, I proceeded along with the rest of my plan, figuring that I could always shove him off the roof later if things turned bad…but again, hoping that I wouldn't have to. _

_I could've made it through the window and to the roof on my own…I always practiced an escape plan ahead of time…I would've never depended on someone else's help with anything because people only care about themselves._

_But after finally meeting Jasper, I was curious and eager to learn more so I tested him. It was absolutely insane to help me through the window before he was safe but he did it…I just needed to figure out why so I could cut loose this weird intense desire to figure him out…so maybe I could pull him close…keep your friends close, your enemies closer…_

_Only I didn't really feel like he was my enemy._

_His file said that he was anti-social, violent, and lacked respect for authority. I thought he seemed kind of…cool and smart and different._

_I always read as much as I can about the people around me in every new home I go to…I always sneak into the files because it's good to know your enemies…and everyone was an enemy to me._

_So, I had read his file and memorized it…not that this was unusual for me either…I had a photographic memory so it was nothing to scan over blueprints of buildings and psychiatric profile of patients and store them for later use…_

_I wasn't lying when I told him I was quite brilliant…_

_I figured the only reason he had been so cool about everything was that he was scared of me. That made sense…most people are aware of something unnatural in their presence…something that doesn't quite belong…so they choose wisely to ignore it…like Aro would always say…never rattle a monster._

_Jasper rattled me._

_When I was spinning on the roof and he grabbed me…instinctively I prepared for the shove that would send me flying over the edge._

_I was not prepared for the frightened look in his eyes as he pulled me close and I could feel the warmth of his body against mine. I couldn't remember the last time someone actually touched me._

_I was dizzy from the revelation that someone cared enough to stop me._

_I fell to the ground giggling with annoyance because I didn't understand him…and I was really fucking smart!_

_So I asked him to start joining me so I could learn more about him…figuring that the curiosity would wear off when he turned out to be some insanely normal guy…_

_Only I was already beyond intrigued because he had helped me so easily…and then he had to go and try to protect me from falling off the roof and I was stupefied._

_And as if that wasn't bad enough, he fucking rattled me again._

_I had forgotten about the few lucky punches Dimitri had gotten in until Mrs. Cope pulled me out of the breakfast line and demanded to know who had given me the black eye and bloody lip._

_But before I could even come up with something I heard that cocky southern drawl, "Kid got in my way…"_

_She turned and scowled at him and my eyes got wide because, once again, I didn't understand what the hell he was doing!_

"_Mr. Whitlock, are you admitting you used violence against this boy?"_

_I shook my head behind her, confused again at why the hell he was sticking up for me but he just smiled, "Yes, ma'am."_

_She turned back to me with disgust in her eyes, "Don't worry, he'll be punished."_

_I looked past her into stormy blue eyes as he smiled at me and flipped her off behind her back. _

_She trudged off, grabbing his arm and yanking him down the hallway as she told him they were going to her office._

_I faked a stomach ache and asked if I could go lie down for awhile. Once I was away from everyone else, I quickly went to the upstairs boys bathroom and crawled up through the vents again._

_The buildings heat and air conditioning systems had been updated in 1992 so I memorized the blueprints and knew exactly where Mrs. Cope's office was. I needed to go see what happened…the only thing I could think of was that he was gonna tell on me but was afraid and wanted to get her alone._

_But I was not prepared for what I saw._

_I looked down through the ceiling grate just in time to see her backhand him. He stood there for a second, holding his cheek while she went to her desk drawer and pulled out some kind of thick black strap._

"_Mr. Whitlock, please remove your shirt and bend over the desk. Violence against the other children will not be tolerated…you know that. Eye for an eye."_

_I watched with wide eyes as he peeled off his shirt, revealing hundreds of scars on his back and chest._

_He bent over the desk and laid his head down as his fingers gripped the edges._

_And when I saw that first strike of the leather strap and the long bloody welt it left on his back, I had to hold my hand over my mouth so I wouldn't scream out._

_I could feel the pain echoing in my body and I found my eyes beginning to water as his knuckles turned white and his dirty blonde curls became damp with sweat._

_He didn't cry out but I couldn't see his face. It was kind of amazing because most kids would've been screaming at the beating she was giving him._

_I was so confused…I didn't understand him at all…why was he doing this for me…he didn't even know me…my own dad chose his life over my own and here was this perfect stranger who was taking more pain than I could imagine…for _me_._

_I was dumbfounded._

_I don't know how many times she hit him but my body ached with his pain. And then his head came up and fell back._

_I could see his tear stained face and he was biting down so hard on his lip that I could see the bloody imprint. His eyes opened and he saw me looking down at him through the vent._

_And then he smiled at me, his eyes gleaming as they looked right through me._

_My breath caught as he grinned, even through another strike. Mrs. Cope stood behind him with the strap, "Have you had enough, Mr. Whitlock?"_

_I watched as his head fell, out of breath and panting as he laughed out a raspy, "Fuck you."_

_I gripped the vent with my fingers and furrowed my brows…did I stumble upon another monster, like myself?_

_But I would never sacrifice myself for anyone else so what made him different? Why would he go through this to protect me?_

_She hit him a few more times until his body finally collapsed on the desk, shaking and sweating as his poor back was now covered in blood and gashes._

_She then returned the strap to her desk and stood there with a smug smile on her face, "Get dressed and follow me…you will be spending some time in isolation to think about your behavior."_

_He groaned as he pushed himself up and bit his lip again as he slowly pulled the shirt over his blood soaked back, wincing with every movement._

_She turned and started to walk away and he glanced up at me._

_I gripped the vent and mouthed, "I'll be back."_

_He smiled softly and nodded once before turning and following her out of the room._

_I had to wait until after bedtime to return to him. I had stolen a master key to all of the doors my second night here so I found the room he was being kept in, and very quietly, unlocked the door and snuck in._

_He was lying on the small bed on his stomach. The moonlight coming in from the barred window was the only light in the room. I could see the shirt stuck to his back with dried blood and open wounds._

_Mrs. Cope would pay for what she had done to him. I guaranteed that._

_I crept over slowly and he lifted his head with a weak smile, "Hey…you came…"_

_Sitting down next to him, I pushed the damp hair from his eyes and smiled, "I told you I would."_

_It was weird touching someone for anything other than harm or defense…but he seemed to like it as he laid his head back down and let out a sigh…I think it was of relief._

_I looked at his back again and cringed, anger coursing through my veins, "They didn't dress your wounds…did they give you anything for the pain?"_

_He laughed humorlessly, "No…they haven't even fed me today."_

_I had to bite my tongue to keep from spitting obscenities. I stood as I tried to catch my breath, "Um…I'm going to go get some stuff to take care of those wounds and I'll grab something for you to eat too…"_

_His hand reached out immediately and grabbed mine. I looked down into his baby blue eyes as they glistened, "Please don't leave…"_

_I squeezed his hand a little, surprised at the way his clammy skin felt so warm against mine and I smiled the best I could, "I'll be back. Promise."_

_He let out a breath and nodded as he let go._

_For some strange reason, he trusted me._

_I wasn't sure why when I didn't even trust myself at this point. No one had ever rattled me like Jasper had before…I had absolutely no idea what was supposed to come of this…_thing _between us…_

_But as I snuck around for everything I needed, I couldn't help but feel something unexplainable for the boy…something I had never felt before…protective and possessive and…something else…_

_I couldn't stand the thought of him in pain or suffering…especially over me because I didn't deserve it…_

_I think I kind of cared about him._

_Weird…_

_I never had a friend before and having only spent time with my cousins before all of this, I didn't really know how to be a friend…people were usually more trouble than they were worth but I couldn't help but feel like maybe he was an exception._

_I returned shortly after with a sub sandwich, chips, a couple of cookies, and a Coke from the employee break room…they always had the good shit._

_He looked up at me in awe as I handed him the sandwich, "Thanks, Mase."_

_I smiled, "You're welcome. Now eat first and then I'll take care of your back, okay?"_

_He smiled a big dimpled grin and nodded as he tore into the food. He really was starving. That did nothing to help my anger._

_I gave him some pain pills I had taken from the nurse's office and he quickly washed them down. _

_Once he had eaten every crumb, it was time for me to dress his back._

_He cringed again as I helped him peel the soiled shirt from his body. He bit down on his lip again and I gently took his chin in my hand and smiled, "You're going to bite that lip right off if you keep at it."_

_He grinned and laid his head down on his arms as I started washing his back with a soft cloth and bowl of warm water._

_I didn't like the feeling of not understanding how someone worked so as I carefully scrubbed his back, I asked, "Why did you say that you had beaten me up?"_

_He sighed, "I didn't want you to get caught…they'll probably find the body tomorrow or the next day and I didn't want it comin' back on you."_

_I furrowed my brows in frustration, "But why? Why do you care if I get caught? It's not like you helped me or something…you wouldn't get in any trouble for it…"_

_He turned his face back to me and shrugged, "I dunno…why'd you come back to help me?"_

_I genuinely smiled at that and shook my head, "I don't know."_

_And he smiled back as he laid his head down, "How old are you?"_

_I wiped away at the dried blood and studied the scars on his back, "Ten…haven't any of the other adults seen your back?"_

_He hissed as I hit a sensitive spot, "Yeah, they just don't give a fuck…you don't talk like a kid…"_

_That's a fucking understatement…_

_I smiled, "I don't act like one either...did you really push that boy?"_

_I already knew his age and about his family from his file…I wanted to know the real Jasper…the one that's been locked away._

"_Yeah…are you from Chicago?"_

_Interesting…he didn't even pause…_

"_Yup…you're more talkative than I thought you'd be…"_

_I could see his cheeks begin to tint, "Um…I'm not usually this talkative it's just that…no one's ever really talked to me before."_

_Frowning, I huffed, "So they think you're anti-social but they don't actually try and socialize with you? And these people have the nerve to think that we're the fucked up ones…"_

_He snickered and turned his head to look at me. I couldn't help but smile back._

"_You're pretty cool, Edward."_

"_You're pretty cool too, Jasper."_

_And I wasn't lying…I really did think he was cool._

_He yawned and laid his head back down. The medicine was starting to kick in. So, I finished taking care of his back and stood up._

_Sleepily he whispered, "Hey Mase?"_

_I looked down at his bloodshot baby blue eyes, "Yeah?"_

"_Will you stay with me? Just till I fall asleep?"_

_I smiled and sat down with my back against the edge of his bed, "Sure, Whit."_

_He fell asleep shortly after that and I sat there until I knew I had to leave, just…watching over him._

_He was curled on his side and his hand flailed out and brushed across my cheek. I couldn't help but close my eyes and lean into his palm, relishing the warmth and the feeling of his skin against mine._

_When I knew I had to leave, I reluctantly pulled myself away…but I was changed because I thought that maybe he might care about me too…_

_Maybe Aro was wrong…maybe there was still hope for me…maybe I just needed to find another lonely monster like myself…_

::

I was brought back to the scene before me when I noticed the cave. We ran inside and I grabbed the bag and flashlights I had left.

He was shivering in his wet clothes and the cold air, especially inside the damp cave. I handed him a flashlight, "I'm sorry…it's just a little further and then we can change, okay? I brought dry clothes…"

Nodding, he whispered, "Aren't we like sittin' ducks in here?"

Shaking my head, I tried to keep my teeth from chattering, "No but, um…you may not like the next part of my plan…"

He rolled his eyes, "Shit, Edward…it gets worse?"

I nodded, "Come on, we have to go…"

He followed me as I navigated the way through the dark, cold caverns.

"There's only two ways out of this cave…the obvious way is this path that we're on, it goes about seven miles and opens up on the eastern tip of La Push. However, there's an old mine shaft about 100 yards below us…there's an opening up here that we can…um…get down to the shaft…"

And then I couldn't help but snicker and Jasper laughed behind me, "Real mature, Mase."

I shrugged and kept on, "Right here…we have to crawl through this opening, it's only about 10 yards…then it comes out to an opening…"

Crawling through the tunnel as he followed behind me, it was cold as shit and hard to keep going but we were so fucking close.

I could hear him huff, "And how exactly are we gettin' down to the mine shaft?"

We crawled out into the opening and he stopped as I shone the lights down on the ropes and cables.

He groaned, "Spelunking? Really, Mase?"

I rolled my eyes, "It's completely safe, Whit…I've done it, like, three times already."

He was shaking and I could see his cold breath even in the soft light of my flashlight.

I put my arms around him and he wrapped his arms around me as we just took a moment to stop. I could feel his breath on my neck and I buried my face in his.

He laughed with shaky breaths, "This is really gonna suck, Mase."

I laughed too now, "It's not that bad, in a few hours, we'll be miles from here."

He raised his face and grinned wide enough for me to see his dimples, "You really over-do this shit, you know that, right?"

I scoffed and chuckled, "That's why we always get away, Whit. You can get away with anything as long as you have a fail-proof plan…"

He smirked, "There's no such thing as a fail-proof plan, Mase."

That smirk drew me in and I couldn't help but lean in slowly to press my lips to his.

His eyes closed and his cold, smooth lips puckered against mine. My icy fingers gripped his shirt, pulling him closer.

He moaned and our mouths opened, swallowing each other's soft moans and grunts. He tasted like cigarettes and something sweet, like root beer.

He always loved root beer…

And just like that, my body was suddenly very, very warm.

His fingers gripped my belt loops and yanked me into him. And I could feel the growl resonating from his body to mine as he pushed me into the wall, his hands now squeezing my ass pulling me even closer to him.

I gasped as I felt him, long and thick against my thigh…for so long, I had thought about sucking him and fucking him…I had thought about him doing those things to me…he was the sole subject of every masturbatory fantasy I have ever had.

My hands reached for his belt buckle and quickly yanked it open, but he was stumbling back from me as he started redoing his jeans, "_Fuck_…we really gotta get goin'."

_Fuck, he's pulling away again…I thought we were past this shit…_

I groaned and reached down, rubbing my dick for a minute because that shit sucked…

"Ugh…fine. Let's go."

Soon, we were packing up the ropes and shit into my backpack and making our way through the mine shaft.

Jasper shined the light at me and laughed, "You're fucking ridiculous, Edward. This is absolutely insane, you know that?"

I smirked, "Jasper, I know that I'm going to die someday…but as long as I live like I won't…I'll live right up until the second that I die…and then it won't matter because I'll be dead. So, fuck it."

I grinned at him and he laughed, "You're fuckin' crazy, Edward."

I laughed and smiled, "That's the beautiful thing about insanity, Whit…I know the rules to life…but I just don't give a fuck. I live in _my _world and in _my _world, I'm a mother fucking king. In my world, there are no rules and I can never die. Join me, it's lovely here."

His eyes sparkled in the soft glow of the flashlight, "You're good, Edward. You could be the next Jim Jones…"

I flashed my sweet crooked smile because it often gave him goose bumps…good ones I hoped.

"I promise not to make you drink the kool-aid, Jasper. I just want you to be happy and I remember that being with me and doing crazy shit always made you the happiest. You were always so free when things got wild…you stopped worrying. You let go. Why do you fight it?"

He frowned and looked down, "Honestly? You scare the shit outta me…"

That stung a little. I'm no good at flirting.

I was, quite frankly, hurt.

"I can't believe you're scared of me…I would never hurt you…"

He shook his head and mumbled, "No, um…that's not it…"

I couldn't stand it! After everything we had been through, he was afraid of me! I cared about him more than I cared about anything in this whole world!

Stopping abruptly, I turned to him and pleaded, "Then what is it that scares you?"

He looked up at me and I was caught in his eyes, the color of the ocean and filled with just as much mystery and beauty. I never knew what was going on in his head. Most people were fairly simple…but he was a complex creature.

I loved that about him.

"It scares me that what you said is true…I don't _wanna _be…"

Smiling at the poor delusional boy, I got it.

"Crazy?"

Sighing, he smiled a tired but genuine smile, "I really did miss you, Edward. I'm sorry for bein' such a dick earlier…"

I just shrugged and turned to start walking again, "That's okay…I'm used to it."

He laughed and pushed me on the shoulder, "You're a dick, Dick."

I shoved him back and chuckled, "No, you're the dick. Dick."

Once we had made our way through the first part of the mine without detecting anyone following us, I stopped and kneeled to get us some dry clothes.

I smiled and handed him some jeans, a sweatshirt, socks, and shoes.

He raised an eyebrow, "No underwear?"

I smirked, "Oh, I must've forgot, sorry."

He just rolled his eyes and laughed. I stood up and shone the flashlight on him, "Here, I'll be helpful and hold the light for you while you change."

He smiled, "You just wanna see me naked...when did you become such a perv?"

I looked down and possibly blushed, "Um…I've thought about you a lot, Jasper…it started shortly before I left…"

He started peeling off his clothes as his teeth chattered, "So, you just figured out that you liked me right before you left?"

I nodded as I studied his body…he had grown even more since I met him…he was a full grown man now and his body displayed that nicely.

And I remembered back to the very first time I saw him naked and how he had changed me once again.

::

_Jasper and I were close. Very close. Much closer than two boys really should be. We were in the same sleeping room once I turned 13 so I kicked the boy that slept next to him out of his bed and took it over._

_We had hung out almost every night together in the last couple of years and finally we'd see each other throughout the day too._

_He had just turned 16 and I had given him a gun that I swiped off some guy one night when we snuck out. We did that a lot too. We'd take off through the city at night and just explore and shit…we always had so much fun together._

_He kept the gun hidden on the roof so no one would find it and he was really happy when I gave it to him. It surprised me how happy that made me. _

_I genuinely liked him…even when he was crabby and being an asshole, I'd give it right back to him and we'd usually end up in fits of giggles by the time we were done. I honestly couldn't imagine my life without him now._

_He really was my best friend…my only friend…the only person I trusted…the only person that cared for me…_

_So I was really excited about finally being in his room so I would see him during the day and we could hang out…but then he started making up excuses about shit he had to do _away _from me…_

_I was floored because we did everything together and I had to find out what he was doing without me…_

_So I started following him when he would take off…_

_I peeked from around the corner as he leaned up against the shower stall, apparently waiting on something…or someone._

_A minute later, Peter walked in smiling like the fucking cat that ate the canary._

_I watched in horror as Jasper smiled back with his dimpled grin, "Hey."_

_Peter walked in and grabbed him by the belt loops, pulling Jasper's body into his as their mouths attacked one another._

_My mouth dropped open as I watched my best friend getting his rocks off with that douche bag Peter!_

_Why did he go to Peter? Does he like him better? Would he rather be with him than me? He's been blowing me off for this guy?_

_If he wanted to kiss, all he had to do was say so…I would've been fine with that…_

_But then Peter broke from the kiss and began sliding down to his knees…_

_Okay, I don't know if I would be okay with that…_

_Moments later I had to cover my mouth with my hand so I wouldn't scream out for him to leave Jasper the fuck alone!_

_I wasn't stupid…I knew what they were doing but I couldn't believe that Jasper would rather have Peter suck his dick than hang out with me._

_I'd never even touched another guy's dick before but there was no doubt in my mind that I would be a million times better at it than fucking Peter._

_When I saw Jasper's head fall back with a long, low moan…something inside of me twitched…my dick twitched too._

_What the hell did that mean?_

_And then…_then_, Jasper had the fucking nerve to moan again and tell him how good it felt!_

_I saw red and it took every bit of control I had to not walk up and slit Peter's fucking throat for trying to take Jasper away from me!_

_He was mine! Mine!_

_Fuck! Peter had to die. There was no way around it. Jasper was all I had and I didn't fucking share! _

_Peter pulled away and huffed, "Look at me, Jazz!"_

_I snorted…Jazz? Really? I think not…_

_Jasper's eyes opened into that icy blue glare and he groaned, "Quit fucking talking…"_

_Peter stood and faced him with anger and hurt in his eyes…_

_Good._

"_Why won't you look at me? I've done this a whole fucking lot and you never look at me!"_

_Jasper groaned again and rubbed his hands over his face, his dick was still swollen and it looked pretty damn painful…and strangely intriguing…_

"_Cuz I'm thinkin' of someone else and lookin' at you would ruin it…now if you wanna suck my dick, then shut the fuck up and suck it…if you don't then get the fuck outta here so I can take a shower and whack off…"_

_Peter glared at him, "I like you, Jasper…I thought you liked me…"_

_Jasper just smiled that cocky little grin that I had come to love, "I like the way you suck my cock, Peter…but I like someone else…I told you that from the start…you know this is just getting off to me and I never pretended like it was somethin' else…so for the second time…suck my fuckin' dick or get the fuck out."_

_He liked someone else? Who? I was the only other person he talked to! Did he have more suck buddies waiting in the wings?_

_Peter turned and stormed out and Jasper growled as he pushed off the wall, "Fuck!"_

_And then my body involuntarily shivered as he began stripping off his clothes. I couldn't look away as he turned on the overhead showers and just stood there for a minute, letting the water glide down his body._

_I realized that Jasper had quite a nice body. Hot, even._

_His back was to me and I was mesmerized as my eyes became hazy and I think I even drooled a little bit. _

_I had never really noticed how…beautiful he was. _

_He had lathered up his hair and now the soapy water was sliding down his strong, scarred back. I literally had to wipe my mouth off with the back of my hand as it slid even further down his ass…his really nice, plump but toned ass…I had never really understood the allure of an ass until now._

_And then, he put one hand against the wall as his other trailed down and wrapped around his dick…his very big…very long…incredibly impressive dick…_

_I prayed to a God I didn't believe in that I would hit a growth spurt soon…_

_My whole body was on fire as I watched him stroke himself…my jeans were growing much too tight and I couldn't help but reach down and undo the buttons to allow myself some room…but then I was stroking myself too._

_And it felt so mother fucking good…better than anything I had ever felt before. _

_I was transfixed by the soft grunts and moans that fell from his lips…the string of curse words that rolled off his sinful tongue soon pushed me over the edge and I gasped as I came all over my hand…_

_And once again, Jasper had awakened another part of me I never knew existed. My mind was filled with dirty images and thoughts about him…about his strong body…those dirty blonde curls…icy baby blue eyes that could see right through me…_

_I wanted Jasper…I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything._

_And I always get what I want._

_But then I found out later that day that the Cullen's had decided to adopt me. I was so damn pissed! I mean, part of me was glad to be leaving this wretched place but I wanted to take Jasper with me._

_Instead, I had to leave him all alone…_

_And as mad as I was about Jasper fucking around with Peter behind my back…I decided not to kill him because as much as I hated it…I didn't want Jasper to be completely alone when I left._

_But before I left…I had to know if it was at all possible that maybe I was the person he really liked. I mean, it had to be me!_

_So, for the rest of that week, I watched the hairs on his neck stand on end whenever I got near…I heard the beat of his heart get faster and faster as I cuddled into him when I pretended to be cold…I noticed the way he seemed to breathe me in…_

_Maybe Aro was wrong again._

_Maybe he could love me…_

_Once again, I was filled with hope._

_But even reeling from the feeling of his lips against mine that last night, even if only for a moment, it wasn't enough to stop me from waking Peter up to a knife against his throat and a heartfelt warning that he better not hurt Jasper and he better not get too attached because I was coming back for him…_

::

"Mase? Edward? Where the hell are you?"

I heard his voice and my eyes snapped up to his, "Huh? I'm right here…"

He held my chin and looked into my eyes, his baby blues softer than I had seen them since I came back.

"You were spaced out again. You're shiverin' like crazy and your lips are turnin' blue…let's get you changed 'fore ya freeze to death…"

I nodded as I finally felt the stabs of pain from the cold and I was shaking so fiercely that I could barely function.

He helped me get dressed in dry clothes and as he pulled up my jeans, I smiled and rasped out through chattering teeth, "My dick's really big now…it's just very cold in here…"

He started laughing and smiled up at me, "Only you would be worried about the size of your dick in a time like this…"

I scoffed, "I'm not worried…I just thought you should know! I was really jealous the first time I saw yours…"

His eyes snapped up to mine, "When did you see me naked before?"

I turned my head as I felt my cheeks go up in flames, "Um…I kind of…sometimes…watched you…showering…"

_Please don't be mad at me…_

He sighed as he helped me pull my wet shirt over my head, "I'm not mad…I just…Why? Why did you watch me?"

I grabbed his wrist so that he would look at me, "You were pulling away from me…I wanted to know why. I saw you and Peter and then I saw you alone in the shower. I was…curious, I guess…but then I really…enjoyed watching you…but I was also a little jealous of the way you looked…you were so mature…"

He smiled a little and pulled my dry sweatshirt over my head, "You were 13, Edward…I was 16...like I told you before…it's a big fuckin' difference."

I smiled now, "There's not much difference between 17 and 20..."

His smile faltered as he kneeled back down and helped me with my socks and shoes, "No…I reckon there isn't but you're still underage, Mase…you're still a kid…"

I rolled my eyes, "Seriously, Whit? We just robbed a bank, ran from the cops, jumped off a cliff and are currently running through an old abandoned mine shaft…and you're worried about me being underage? You do realize that kissing me while I'm underage is probably the least of the felonies that we've committed. Besides, age ain't nothing but a number..."

He stood back up and ran his fingers through his damp dirty curls, completely ignoring my attempt at humor, "Edward, we really need to get outta here."

I sighed as I saw the walls being slammed shut again.

"Fine."

I threw my bag over my shoulder and kept walking while he trailed behind. I hated when he shut me out.

_I'm here now! I'm plenty old enough! I want you! Why the fuck won't you just let me have you?_

_Fuck, I love you… why won't you just fucking love me back? _

_Please, Jasper…_

_Fuck…_

_Please…_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's sticking with this story! I love the reviews and thank you for letting me know what you think. Big thanks to Imbatnan for being an awesome beta. Chapter five is with her now so I should have that up sometime in the next week. Plus I'm almost through the Chapter Six revisions so we're almost back to where the story was before I got all OCD…sorry about that :/**

**Chapter Four:**

**Insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.**

**Jasper's POV**

I am fucked.

I am **so **fucked.

After all the shit we just did and the impending possibility of headin' right back to the mother fuckin' pen…all I could think about was that his dick was just inches from my lips.

_Long. Thick. Virgin. Cock._

_I wonder if he's ever gotten a blow job?_

Damn it…the fucker's already pulling me in. Gotta try and resist…too many other things are goin' on right now for me to get lost in Masenopolis again.

It was different when we were kids…kids really are crazy enough to think they're indestructible. I know better…

But I want him…

_So fuckin' bad…_

And I know he wants to fuck…I wanna fuck too…but with him, it's all or nothing.

_I'm in way too fuckin' deep to be some casual fuck for him…just the fantasy of the first boy he ever saw naked…_

_My heart can't take that shit._

I'm so fucked.

_I fell in love with the boy who told me that he was unlovable…the boy who thought love was only an illusion that people use just to make you hurt worse. _

_"Love is like magic and magic is only an illusion," that's what he'd always say._

_And I made him mad at me…I fuckin' hate it when he's mad at me._

I kept my eyes on the ground as I followed behind him. I hated not being in front so I could protect him but he knew the way and I didn't.

I always tried to protect him cuz he had absolutely no attachment to reality…it was me that always worried that he was gonna step a little too far one day and plummet from that fuckin' ledge he liked to dance along.

But that was the difficult thing about being around Edward…he was so god damn good that eventually you were so fuckin' dazzled that you danced right along with him…and you really didn't give a fuck.

However, when he's gone and the magic wears off…you realize that you _are _human and you are very much destructible. Prison taught me that.

_Bet I wouldn't have gotten caught if Mase was with me…_

You see…that's the shit I'm talking 'bout. The stupid little thoughts that creep into my head and totally buy into his bullshit…

I am so, so fucked.

It's not my fault though…he has that way about him. He was one of those beautiful people…the kind of people that walk into a room and fuckin' own that shit. He's always been that way. "Like moths to a flame," he used to say.

But now…_fuck_, now he was beyond beautiful…he was other-fuckin'-worldly.

From that strong jaw line to those lips stained a wicked deep blood red, lush forest green eyes and wild hair with traces of crimson…hot fire dancing along smooth pale skin…he was sin on legs and I was ready to jump in the second circle of Hell and let the storm take me.

The sound of his voice was different now too, stronger, rougher…even his scent had grown more potent, muskier…more manly.

Everything about him drew me in and I was the helpless moth flyin' happily to his demise and fuckin' whistling as the flames tore through my body.

He stopped and I almost stumbled into him as he looked back at me with an eyebrow raised. I skidded and stopped, breathless for no reason at all.

Smirking like the smug bastard he is, he looked me up and down, "You're standing awfully close, Jasper. Are you trying to molest me?"

I rolled my eyes as my heart beat outta my chest and I laughed nervously, "Fuck off, Mase."

He turned and faced me, shining his flashlight up so it put the spotlight right on that perfect face of his, his eyes sparkling with amusement, "Such harsh language in front of a minor…you really should be ashamed. You could corrupt me."

_You bet your sweet ass, I could…_

Damn it…

Okay, so I know the age thing was a stupid card to play but I was fuckin' desperate cuz I can't rightly just scream out…

_'I fuckin' love you, you crazy, psychotic fuck! I've been in love with you since I was fourteen years old! _

_But I'm fuckin' scared cuz you always gotta take on the whole god damn world when all I wanna do is lie on a fuckin' beach somewhere next to you, drinkin' tequila and lickin' the mother fuckin' salt water from the nape of your neck!'_

Yeah, I totally can't say that. He'd probably laugh at me…tell me to quit being such a pussy…and reminding me that monsters can't love…

I could feel my cheeks burning as I just looked at him. I didn't glare, my eyes weren't half-lidded…I just looked, searching his eyes for something real.

No arrogance, no delight in watching me squirm, no manipulation cuz the Lord knows that Masen can play me like a fuckin' fiddle…I needed a real emotion from him, something other than anger and throwin' a temper tantrum like a god damn spoiled brat…I needed something that gave me a little hope…and I had only seen it one time in all the years that I knew him…

::

_We had been stuck together like glue every night for the past year. I really didn't remember life before him and I couldn't imagine life without him. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had someone…someone who was mine and mine alone…my best friend, the only person I could talk to…the only one I wanted to talk to. And he seemed to feel the same way about me._

_Edward was fascinating. I would trudge through every day, waiting anxiously for the night to come so I could hang out with him. I prayed for night time all day long._

_But as I stood in the bathroom, waiting on him to meet me, I started getting pissed that he hadn't shown up yet. He was late._

_I wondered if he had fallen asleep or something so I crept to his room through the darkened hallways, angry that he didn't wanna hang out with me enough to stay awake._

_My heart stopped when I saw his bed was still perfectly made._

_Where the fuck was he?_

_I started to feel all panicky and shit as I thought about one of those sadistic fucks hurting him. He had dealt with Ms. Cope so she didn't worry me anymore…but she wasn't the only one in this place that got their rocks off from hurting us._

_Running quietly back to my room, I dug out the master key that he had given me from underneath the frame of my bed. And I grabbed the wooden baseball bat that I had hidden in the vents. _

_A wooden bat burns._

_Making my way through the dark hallways, creeping in the blackest shadows, I searched for him. I knew this place like the back of my hand now. Edward had blueprints of the building and the duct systems. He made me study them forever until I could see it in my sleep._

'_You gotta always know a way out, Whit,' that's what he'd always tell me. Never go someplace where there wasn't more than one escape route._

_I checked the offices of the people I knew that delighted in hurting us, but nothing._

_My skin was crawling at the thought of not finding him. I needed him. I needed to know he was all right. _

_I went to the infirmary next but he wasn't in the main sleeping room. _

_And then my heart stopped as I thought about solitary. Masen would fuckin' lose his shit in solitary. _

_My feet began running, not really giving a fuck if anyone caught me cuz nobody was stopping me from getting to him. He was hurting. _

_I could feel it deep in my bones._

_The first two rooms were empty but on the third room, I was ready to kill._

_The voice that rasped out to me wasn't the voice I knew. It was weak…scared…suffering._

_"Help me…p-lease, Jasper…"_

_He was restrained to a hospital bed, his feet and hands bound by thick leather straps. I ran to him and I wanted to cry as I looked at the boy who called himself a rock star._

_His body was covered in scratches and yellow-purple bruises. He was pulling his wrists against those straps so hard that I could see thin lines of blood trailing down his hand and dripping onto the white sheet beneath him._

_There were dark purple bruises underneath his eyes but his emerald irises glistened through the tears that streamed down the sides of his face. His bottom lip was split and the blood had stained his lips a deep, dark red. _

_And his pretty bronze hair was gone. They shaved it off._

I had never killed before, since technically that asshole lived…but I was about to take a running start and leap off that mother fuckin' edge cuz somebody was gonna pay for what they did to my boy.

Struggling against the straps, he started crying through panicked breaths, "Let me out…please, Jasper…p-please…I can't…I _can't _get out…"

Screaming through sobs, the bed shook from his violent attempt to break free…the sheet underneath him becoming a deeper shade of burgundy.

I was glad that the room was sound proof.

He was hurtin' himself worse and making it harder for me to try and get those fuckin straps undone cuz they just kept tightening as he struggled.

I had never seen him cry and I had never seen him panic…

It was fascinating but terrifying…

Grabbing his face roughly, I brought my forehead to his and closed my eyes cuz I couldn't stand to see the pain in his.

It was already sweeping through my body like wild fire.

My breathing became shallow as I fought against the fire, "Calm down, Edward…ya gotta stop fightin'…I'm here now…I've got you…calm down…take a deep breath, Mase…I've got you…"

His body went rigid as he gasped and held his breath. I could feel his whole body trembling as he struggled to stay still.

My fingers glided down his arm gently to his wrist and I hoped my touch would calm him. Cuz if he could calm down, maybe it would help me calm down.

I whispered, "Breathe…_c'mon_, Edward…_breathe_…"

Gasping again, he shuddered violently but he didn't fight as my fingers quickly undid the strap on his left wrist.

The moment his arm was free, it was tight around my neck as he sobbed so close that I could smell his salty tears…taste them with each ragged breath.

_Kiss him…_

And then _I _shuddered because…my whole body was screaming at me to kiss him…taste his blood stained lips…the salt from his tears…

He leaned up off the bed as he latched onto me and buried his face in my shoulder. My hand slid around his waist and held him tight to me.

Without his lips so close, I could come back to fuckin' reality and stop thinking about wanting to kiss my best friend…especially at a time like this.

But as my other hand slid down his arm to the other strap, I melted into his touch. I had never been hugged…

_At least not that I remembered. In fact, the only time I had ever felt someone else's skin against mine, it was always for something bad…something that usually hurt…but this…this shit felt better than anything I had ever felt before. _

_Even better than how he gently washed my back the night after I met him…and that felt amazing._

And I really felt like a monster because he was still trembling in my arms.

I had never felt so protective over anything and so fuckin' guilty in my whole life.

I really was a monster.

As soon as the next strap was undone, his other arm flew around my neck and he held me tight, his fingers digging into my skin, trying to get even closer.

He wasn't sobbing anymore but he was still shaking and breathing really hard.

So was I but for different reasons.

I reached down and was thankful that I had long arms so I didn't have to pull away from him. I started undoing the straps on his feet.

He was so little. I was really tall for my age and he just looked so small and weak in my arms. It only made me feel worse for the way my body was reacting to having him so close.

I buried my face in his neck as I pulled the last strap free and my arm went back around him, holding him just as tight as he held me.

He practically crawled into my lap and my body betrayed me again as my dick fuckin' twitched.

I was the _biggest _monster.

Scooping him up in my arms, he started crying again. My heart was breaking as he whispered through broken sobs, "I wanna go home…I want my mom…I wanna go home…"

His mom was dead, though he hadn't told me what happened. I also knew he killed his father but he didn't tell me why or how…and I wasn't sure I wanted to know. I didn't really know anything else about his past other than he had some cousins he had been close to.

_We usually just had fun together, we didn't dwell on the bad shit too much._

I carried him to the bathroom as carefully as I could, not wanting to hurt him anymore.

Once we got there, I whispered, "I have to take care of your wrists, Edward. I've gotta put you down so I can rinse them off in the sink before I bandage them, okay?"

Clenching my t-shirt between his fingers, he wrenched me closer as he whispered through sobs, "I need air…c-can't breathe…"

_He needs to get outside..._

So I lifted my head and brought my forehead to his again but this time I looked into his deep green eyes, "I promise I'll take you outta here just as soon as I bandage you up. I promise, Mase."

His eyes searched mine for a moment and his face became completely haunted as he cried out, "We're never gonna leave this place, Jasper…they'll never let us out…"

Running my fingers over the soft stubble on the back of his neck, I whispered, "Yes, we will, Edward. They can't keep us here past 18...we just gotta hang on."

I had four more years…he had seven but I was taking him with me when I left.

_And I was never lookin back…_

His cries were haunting as he buried his face in my neck, clawing at my back to try and bring me even closer.

_It's okay, Mase…I've got you…_

The sobs began to subside. His brilliant green eyes opened and I could see him steeling his resolve.

He finally nodded and whispered, "Okay."

I slid him down on his bare feet, keeping my arm around him as I helped him to the sink.

Very carefully, I fixed the knobs until a warm, gentle stream of water flowed out. Tenderly I took his wrists and guided them underneath the water. He hissed for a second and then sighed in relief.

Smiling, I brushed my thumb over his palm to clean away some of the dried blood, "Does the water feel good?"

He smiled back with closed eyes and a soft sigh, "Yeah…_so _much better…"

_Need my bat…_

I suddenly remembered that I had left it in the other room and I needed to get it, just in case I had to use it, "Stay here for just a second. I'm gonna go grab my bat."

His fingers quickly gripped onto my hands as his eyes flashed open, "Don't leave me."

_I'll never leave you…_

I smiled cuz vulnerable Mase was surprisingly cute…

But I shouldn't think things like that so I guided his wrists back underneath the water and sighed, "I promise I'll be right back. Ya know I gotta get it, Mase."

He took a deep breath and nodded as he let go and whispered, "Hurry."

I nodded and took off. I was back just a few moments later to see him staring at himself in the dirty mirror.

His eyes looked completely vacant.

_Hollow…_

I walked slowly and whispered, "Masen?"

He didn't budge.

"Mase?"

And then his eyes snapped to mine in the mirror and his whole face looked completely destroyed as he fell to the ground and covered his head with his arms, shaking violently with sobs.

Droppin' to my knees down in front of him, I put my hand on his shoulder, "Edward? You're okay…"

He cried out through wracking sobs, "I'm…so…ugly…"

I tried to take his hand so I could pull it away from his face, "No, you're not…"

But he just dug into himself a little deeper, "Leave me alone, Jasper…I don't wanna hurt you…"

_You could never hurt me…_

I sighed and ran my hand down his arm, feeling the goose bumps rise, "You're not gonna hurt me, Edward…and I'm not gonna leave you alone."

That only made him cry harder as he buried himself even further down.

I knew that he wouldn't hurt me. I trusted him. He might've been a little crazy but he was always really nice to me. I knew that he cared about me as much as he was able to…and I believed that was enough.

_And I just cared for him too much. That was normal for me. My emotions sometimes got the better of me. If I was angry, I'd be way more angry than other people…if I was sad, I'd be way more depressed…so I figured that would be true if I loved someone too._

_I would love them way more than normal…I loved _him _way more than normal but I couldn't change the way I felt. And I wouldn't if I could._

I jumped up and started rummaging through the drawers and cabinets until I found the clippers.

_This shit is gonna suck._

Turning them on, I looked down and started watching my dirty blonde curls fall into the sink. When the sink was filled, I turned off the clippers and turned around.

He was sitting on his knees now, looking up at me with wide eyes.

And then he started giggling, "Why the hell did you do that?"

_To make you smile again…_

I smiled cuz I just wanted him to be happy, "Fuck it."

Now he was really laughing as he stood up and walked over to me. Lookin up at me with big, green eyes that were bright again, the corner of his mouth curved up, "Thanks, Jasper."

_Anytime, Mase…_

Shrugging my shoulders, I grinned, "Let's get this shit done so we can get outta here for awhile."

He nodded and as I was bandaging his wrist, I couldn't help but glide my fingertips across his pale skin, relishing the feel against my own. His other hand reached over and gently took mine. And when I looked into his eyes, I could see something else there…I could feel it.

And then he whispered, "I wish you could see the truth …if I were capable of love…I would love you, Jasper."

_But I could see the truth in his eyes…feel it through his fingertips…_

I could see the pain in his eyes too…because he didn't say that he didn't _wanna _love me…just that he wasn't able to.

I didn't want him to hurt over me so I just shrugged and mumbled, "Fuck it, Mase."

But it felt like my heart shattered.

He smiled and laughed, "Fuck it."

I grinned because he had a beautiful smile and I couldn't help it.

_But it still fuckin hurts…_

Then I went back to work on dressing his wounds.

It wasn't long until we were sitting on the roof, dangling our legs off and sharing a cigarette.

He was shaking from the cold as I looked over, "You okay?"

Flashin me a crooked smile, he shivered again, "Yeah…but it's fucking cold as shit with no hair."

I laughed and passed him the cigarette, "Yeah…we should bring hats tomorrow…my head is freezing."

We laughed like two mad men in the night, on top of that old roof…looking down on the unsuspecting townsfolk.

But when his teeth started chattering, I asked, "Do you wanna go in?"

He shook his head, "No!"

_Just pull him close…it's okay, it's just to keep him from getting sick. And the body heat is nice…_

I sighed and tried to run my hand through my hair but ended up just rubbing the short soft stubble that lay there. Then I opened my arm and tipped my head, "Come here, Edward. You're freezin'."

Breakin' into a brilliant grin, he whispered, "Thanks," as he scooted over and cuddled into my side. He stopped shivering and sighed deeply, his warm breath fanned over my chest and I thanked God I had a fuckin' shirt on cuz that shit felt so good…I couldn't imagine what it would feel like against bare skin.

_So good…_

His breathing started to even out and I couldn't help but smile cuz only Masen would fall sound asleep while sittin' on the edge of a building.

::

Back in the here and now I realize I must be glutton for punishment because I know he won't ever love me…he told me so himself.

But he's looking at me still…quiet…no smart ass remarks or cocky smirks…just shades of green and soft breaths from blood red lips.

The pull to him is overwhelming, his calm desire drawing me in as his eyes flicker to my lips for just a second before focusing again on my eyes.

_Fuckin' kiss him…_

Maybe he can never love me but I'm much too far gone to even care…because I still wanna kiss him.

And I mean _really _kiss him…I want to give in to the craving…want to taste him on my lips…

_My tongue…_

A slow, long, burn…

So, I lean forward slowly, my fingertips reaching out and barely grazing the hot skin underneath his shirt as I play with the soft skin on his hips.

Willing him closer, instead of pulling.

It's surreal that I no longer have to lean down to hold him…feel him…kiss him…

_He's right here and he's all grown up so you don't have to feel guilty for wanting him. _

He's grown into an ethereal creature…an angel.

Have you ever noticed that in the Bible, anytime an angel appears, God says to 'be not afraid?'

Real angels aren't baby faced cherubs who bounce from cloud to cloud…they must be rather frightening if God himself feels the need to tell you 'be not afraid.'

Their beauty must be terrifying.

He's leaning forward as his eyes flutter close and I smile inside cuz _I _made his eyes flutter.

The heat spreads on my lips as they press softly against his. My fingers clench the soft skin of his hips before taking their time memorizing the new feelings of the toned muscles on his back.

His hands come up to hold my face and he groans softly as they slide over the stubble on my cheeks and into my hair, gripping the curls tightly in his fingers.

And the sensation is too much…my emotions are too powerful to get a grip on.

_So good…need more…_

I'm completely lost in him again.

I pull his body to mine as my tongue begs for a taste, which he willingly obliges. Our tongues are tangled and we're swallowing each other's moans.

My mind is just blank as I push him up against the cave wall…

_Wanna devirginize this beautiful boy right here, right now._

Make him mine…and pretend that he loves me as he screams out my name.

The feeling of his hard cock pulsing against my thigh through the thin denim barrier is enough to drive me insane from desire to touch…taste…feel…

The slow burn has erupted into a ferocious inferno as his fingers dig into my skin, pulling me closer and I fear that I have projected my desire and love onto him because for a moment…it feels like he might love me back.

_I know he loves me…_

I'm so tempted to join him in his world because in _his _world…the unreal becomes real and maybe he _could _love me too.

He breaks the kiss, gasping and swaying on his feet. I laugh softly and decide to fuck with him a little bit while I steady him, "Did I sweep you off your feet, darlin?"

His eyes snap to mine and if I could see him in full light, I'd bet he was blushing. And I swear I can feel the love radiating from him…but again, it could just be me feeling things way too strongly again.

He smiles and tightens his arms around my neck, steadying himself. Then he just chuckles and it's the most gorgeous sound I've ever heard.

But then his hands are sliding down my chest, pinching my nipples on their descent until they're playing with the soft blonde hair on my belly that led down to where my cock was weeping in anticipation. My eyes close with a soft moan and he whispers, "In _my _world, I would gladly let you be king…I could be your dirty little slave boy who worshipped you in ways that would make even the devil himself blush…come on, Jasper…give in…"

And I thought about all the reasons I should keep my distance…but ultimately, it didn't matter because I would give in to him in the end…I wanted him and nothing was gonna change that so why prolong the inevitable…my life sucked anyway.

I stared into his intense green eyes and smiled, "Fuck it."

His face broke into a beautiful crooked grin and I was really surprised when he pulled me into a strong hug and whispered, "Don't worry, Whit…I've got you."

I held him tight, the heat from his body instantly warming me up and for the first time since he'd come back, I remembered why I loved hugging him so much in the first place.

_So warm…so fuckin' good…_

He pulled away and I could see the happiness shining through in his eyes, "Come on, Jasper…we really do need to get out of here. We've got a lot of driving to do."

I nodded and smiled as he pulled away, still holding my hand in his. And I remembered again why I wanted to be around him so badly as a kid…he always made everything better.

For a little while anyway.

We hurried through the rest of the cave cuz it was cold as shit in that son of a bitch. Once we got outside the light made my eyes sting and Edward handed me a pair of sunglasses. I just laughed and mumbled, "Completely ridiculous.."

_But fuckin' awesome…_

He laughed, "Some things are a necessity and the way you look in those sunglasses is an absolute necessity."

I rolled my eyes as I slipped them on, thankful for once at his over planning for every situation.

_I take that back, I was always thankful for his over planning cuz it had saved our asses many a times and I was sure it was gonna work this time._

We started walking through the woods again and I could barely make out a structure off in the distance.

And I laughed when I saw a car covered by brush and shrubs.

"Wow…that's super criminal camouflage right there…"

He just flashed that evil little smirk as he started pulling the shrubbery off the car, "Why make things more difficult than necessary?"

Now I really let out a laugh, "This comin' from the boy who put together a bank robbery to see me again? If you knew how to reach James, why didn't you just get my number and call me?"

Stopping dead in his tracks, he just stood there for a moment, then he scratched his fingers through his crazy hair and smiled, "I honestly never even thought of that."

_Crazy little fucker…_

I just laughed again and shook my head as I helped him get the car cleaned off. I was surprised that it was an older Oldsmobile, nothing fancy. I was expecting exactly the opposite from him.

Quickly, he crawled in the passenger seat and unlocked my door. I slid in with a raised brow and he shrugged, knowin exactly what I was thinking like the freaky little mind reader he is sometimes, "I didn't have a lot of money for some bad ass getaway car because I spent all my money on these."

He handed me a driver's license.

"Besides, I crashed a god damn Vanquish over a cliff, Whit…you gotta give me some credit for that."

_That's true…he earns bad ass points for that…_

I furrowed my brows as I looked at the driver's license, amazed at how real it looked, "Jasper Hale?"

"Yes, you needed a new name and I thought it was perfect."

Pullin' down my glasses, I quirked an eyebrow again, "And why is that?"

Lookin' at me with glowing green eyes, he flashed me that crooked grin, "So I can yell out 'Oh Hale yeah!'"

I rolled my eyes and he just chuckled, "I don't know why I chose the name…I just did, so deal with it."

Chuckling, I stared at the awful photo, "Okay…but did you have to use my mug shot?"

He shrugged, "I didn't have any recent pictures."

As he peeled out onto the road, I looked around for helicopters or cop cars but didn't see or hear anything.

Then I wondered aloud, "What name did you choose?"

Handing me his wallet, I opened it to see 'Edward Masen'. I looked over at him in confusion, "You didn't use a fake name?"

His lips curled up in a grin, "They think I'm dead anyway, remember? I have a new social security number and birthday…that's what matters."

_True…_

Before long, we were on the highway and heading east.

And with a little distance between us, I could think clearly again and I needed some answers, "Why did you fake your death?"

He sighed as he lit up a square and handed me the pack, "Because I needed to disappear and I didn't want them searching for me. I needed a fresh start. I needed you."

I took a drag, "Needed me for what?"

His smile gave him away and I could tell that there was something going on in that head of his, "Well, I needed you for several reasons. The first being that I'm probably the last seventeen-year-old virgin on the face of the planet and I was hoping you could remedy that situation for me…the second being that I've got some family business to attend to and I was hoping you would assist me in that as well…the third…"

He blushed again and smiled nervously as he laughed, "I just need you, okay?"

That blush and nervous smile worried me, "Family business? I thought your mom and dad were dead?"

He looked away and out to the road ahead of him, "They are. I'll explain more tonight."

I wanted to know the whole story but knew that pushing him never worked out in my favor so I nodded and just stared out the window, watching the world fly by.

But after awhile I turned and asked, "You're going to tell me everything, right? I wanna know what happened to your mom and dad…I wanna know about your cousins you always talked about…I wanna know everything, Masen."

Taking a deep breath, he nodded and looked over at me, "I promise."

I nodded and sighed, "So, what are we doing now?"

"Just driving as far away from Washington as possible. I don't plan on stopping till we've reached at least Montana, preferably Wyoming. Then we'll get a room and check out the news on the internet to see if they have any leads on us."

I nodded again and laid back in the seat, holding his wallet open and looking through it. I smiled when I pulled out his student ID, "Edward Anthony Cullen…17 years old…Junior at Forks High School…Home of the Spartans…"

That made me chuckle, "Spartans?"

Rolling his eyes, he smirked, "Don't even get me started on Forks High School."

I smiled, "Aww…I bet you would've been a really cute Spartan…"

With a roll of his pretty green eyes, he chuckled, "Spartans? Really? The real Spartans were fierce warriors…Forks High Spartans were horny, zit-faced teenagers…like I said, don't even get me started on that."

Letting it go for now, I just continued looking through his wallet. Behind the school ID was a folded picture.

I pulled it out and my breath caught as I stared at the pictures of him and me. It was from a photo booth at a carnival we snuck out to one night, when he was twelve and I was fifteen. We were laughing and making stupid faces. We looked so happy.

He smiled over at me, "Do you remember getting those taken?"

_Yeah, I remember everything…_

I studied how much his face had matured over the last few years, "Yeah…it was at that carnival…"

Laughing, he reached over and nudged my arm, "Remember how I had to practically force you on the Ferris wheel? You said you didn't trust it and I said you didn't have to…you just had to trust me."

I smiled as I remembered and he reached over and grabbed my hand, "Trust me now, Jasper. No matter what happens, you have to trust me."

_I do…_

His eyes were intense and I knew he was telling me more than his words were saying. He was telling me that things were gonna get even crazier.

But I kinda knew that already.

So I just squeezed his hand back and whispered, "I trust you, Mase."

I didn't want to…I knew it wasn't healthy but I couldn't stop myself…

_Wouldn't, even if I could…_

He smiled and whispered, "Good."

And then he grabbed the wheel again. We drove for awhile and I just looked out the window.

I knew things were fixin' to get crazy. I hoped I was strong enough to fight against the madness this time but I already knew it was a battle I would lose…

Eventually, resigned to my fate, I wondered aloud, "Hey, Mase? How many more people are we gonna have to kill?"

He sighed and smiled sadly at me…he knew I hated killing unless it was absolutely necessary, "Not many but I assure you that it will be absolutely necessary and they totally deserve it."

I nodded and softly asked, "How many people have you killed?"

Rolling his pretty green eyes, he chuckled, "How many people have _you _killed?"

Mase knew that answer cuz he was with me, "Only three…four, if you count Mrs. Cope but you already know that."

His lips quirked into a devilish smirk and his eyes glowed, "And you act like _I'm _a serial killer or something…"

I reached over and pinched his side cuz it always made him giggle somethin' fierce, "How many?"

Now he started laughing and tried to knock my hand away, "Not that many…_stop_…I'm trying to drive here…"

But I just laughed, and pinched him again as he chuckled, "Fine…let me think a minute…"

Now I rolled my eyes and laughed again, "Seriously? Are you countin in your head?"

He shrugged, "Do you wanna know or not?"

And I did wanna know so I nodded as I chuckled.

The little fucker continued to think until he finally mumbled, "Sixteen…possibly seventeen."

_Damn…_

My eyes got huge as I gasped, "Holy shit! I only know 'bout your dad and Dimitri! We'll just go half-sies on Mrs. Cope…"

He pulled out another cigarette and sighed, "I'll tell you everything tonight, okay? But I'm gonna need a whole lot of alcohol before I get started. And I was thinking that you need to dye your hair…maybe I should dye mine too."

_Fuck no you can't dye your hair!_

I gasped out, "No! Don't dye your hair!"

Smirking like the smug bastard he is, he shrugged, "Why not? I could dye it green, it would match my eyes."

That made my eyes roll as I chuckled, "Wouldn't the point of dying your hair be to blend in with society instead of sticking out like a sore thumb?"

But he just shrugged again, "Jasper, I could cover my body in sparkly glitter and I wouldn't stand out any more than I do now…I'm just _that _hot."

I just shook my head and smirked right back, "It's nice to know that your ego has grown along with the size of your dick."

He threw his head back as he laughed harder than I had seen for awhile. Then he sighed and reached over, punching me lightly in the arm, "I knew you were looking at my dick."

_Long. Thick. Virgin. Cock._

I could feel my cheeks burn as I thought of it again and I bit my lip to stop the groan that came from deep within my throat.

Then his hand was on my chin, pulling my face up as I looked into intense green eyes, "Jasper? Can I ask you something?"

I nodded, feeling a little panicky at the way he was looking at me. Luckily he turned back to the road.

"What happened after I left? I know that you went to prison at nineteen and just got out a couple months ago but I don't know anything before that. Did they let you out of the um…children's home?"

I furrowed my brows, "No…I ran away a couple days after you left. But they would've let me out when I turned eighteen anyway."

His face held that same haunted look I had remembered seeing all them years before.

"How'd you get to Chicago? That's where you were in prison, right?"

I nodded, "Um yeah…I just…hitched, I guess…I don't remember all the details."

_Don't wanna remember all the details…_

Most of my memories were foggy and unimportant. I saw my past in just little snippets of time because without Edward, none of it mattered anyway.

_Yet I remember every second of every moment I've ever spent with him._

He looked over at me again and I could see the pain in his eyes as he whispered, "Why did you go to Chicago?"

_Lookin' for you…_

I hated seeing his pain so I just told him the truth, "Because that's where you grew up and I just wanted to be someplace that made me feel close to you…I guess maybe I was kinda hopin you'd go back there and we'd find each other…"

_Cuz I'm so fuckin' _lost _without you…_

I could still see the pain in those forest green eyes but he smiled anyway, "Do you remember when I told you that love was like magic and magic was just an illusion?"

Nodding, my heart started beating outta my chest.

He chuckled and looked at the road for a second before looking back at me, "Well, I've been thinking…magic isn't real for normal people but monsters possess supernatural and magical powers all the time…therefore, magic would be real to us and not an illusion."

_I knew he loved me…_

At least I hoped he did cuz I was fuckin' hopelessly and irrevocably in love with him.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N : Thanks, as always, to my wonderful beta Imbatnan. I have chapter six to her now and will hopefully get it up this weekend sometime or early next week. Thanks again to you guys for continuing to read. I would like to take a moment to address a question I was asked in an anonymous review (which I've already deleted) but this person signed it 'confused as to why I kept my reviews instead of starting over because the review count is misleading.' I didn't just delete the story and start over again because I wanted the people who had alerted and favorited it to be able to find it again as it had been over six months since I updated. Also, I don't believe it should be misleading unless you only read stories because of their review count, in which case, you're missing out on some great stories. Those that have previously reviewed it, can't review again unless they do so under 'guest.' Honestly, I didn't think it was a big deal as this is one of my least reviewed multi-chapter stories. Now let's move on.**

**Chapter Five : **

**Love that is not madness is not love.**

**Mase's POV**

He was slumped down in his seat, long legs brought up with his feet on the dashboard. His teeth bit down onto his plump bottom lip as he fought a smile. A pale blush came to his stubbled cheek as looked out the window for a minute.

I took note that he was very flexible

And I liked the stubble.

"So, um, you're sayin' that you, ya know…believe in love and shit?"

His cheeks were on fire and I couldn't help but laugh and fuck with him a little bit.

"Yes. Carlisle showed me that sometimes monsters are capable of love…perhaps even capable of a love much greater than that of the ordinary man."

With a growl, his eyes narrowed, "Who the fuck's Carlisle?"

He was fucking adorable…

I smirked and raised an eyebrow, "My adoptive father. He loves his wife very much and even loves me and my adopted sister, Jane. I didn't realize what it all meant until I got older. He helped me escape a life that was suffocating me. He's truly remarkable; I can't wait for you to meet him one day."

His mouth hung open and his pretty blue eyes were wide, "Are you sayin' that your adopted parents know you ain't dead?"

Nodding my head, I smiled, "Yes, they support me one hundred percent."

Those dirty blonde curls fell in front of his face as he shook his head, "Edward, this don't make no sense…what kind of people are they? Did they hurt you?"

I smiled at his concern and reached over to grab his hand, "No, they didn't hurt me but yes, they were monsters. I was right at home…Janey was too. We were like the god damn Munsters trying to live among the humans without being discovered of our true nature. I promise to explain it all once we crash somewhere for the night but honestly, it's just too damned difficult to explain without starting at the very beginning. Can we talk about something else?"

He sighed and looked out the window a second before turning to me and grinning, "What's your adopted sister like?"

Now I smiled, "Janey's fucking awesome. She's fifteen and really short with a cute little baby doll face, but that bitch is fucking twisted. She was already with the Cullen's when they adopted me and we kind of stuck together…"

But then my smile fell when I remembered, "She's really mad at me right now though, cause she thinks I left her."

Squeezing my hand, he smiled sympathetically, "I'm sure she'll forgive you, Edward. Hey, ya know what's funny?"

Shaking my head, I grinned at the silly smile he wore now, "I got a sister too."

_His file never mentioned anything about a sister…_

Furrowing my brows, I look into those baby blue eyes, "What?"

Still grinning like the silly boy I remember from my childhood, his whole face lights up, "Her name's Rosalie. She's three years older so she remembered me. She tried to find me when she turned eighteen but I was MIA till I got locked up. She found out 'bout me on the internet and started writin' me every day. She musta wrote me a million letters; they really helped me through my bid. She was all I had…"

_Because I left you…a mistake that I will never make again…_

"Anyway, when I got out a couple months ago, I started staying with her. She's got an apartment outside of Houston."

I furrowed my brows as I thought back to his file, "Jasper, you already know that I read your file when we were kids…it never mentioned a sister."

Looking down at his scarred up hands, he sighed, "No, I reckon it wouldn't. My mama was…a whore…a meth addict. When Rosie was six…mama took her with her as she made a dope run but mama didn't have enough money so her dealer said that Rose had to stay until mama came back with the money…"

I took a deep breath as her story hit very close to home for me, "Your mother never went back for her, did she?"

Closing those sad, blue eyes, he shook his head, "No. There were no records for her since she never went to school and we never seen a doctor or nothin'…but she's got a few pictures of us when we were little. We look so much alike we could be twins."

_My poor broken boy…_

Grabbing that stubbled chin, I lifted his face to mine as his eyes slowly opened, "She must be breathtaking."

_There's that blush…this is just too easy…_

His cheeks stained a beautiful crimson as his mouth opened to say something but nothing came out.

But then his eyes snapped shut as he pulled away, laying his head against the headrest and taking slow, deep breaths. After a few minutes, his breathing evened out and I finally sighed, "Are you tired?"

He looked really tired.

Opening his bloodshot eyes, he grinned, "I haven't slept too well in the last 20 years or so…"

_We always were creatures of the night…_

Chuckling, I grin right back, "Yeah, me neither but I bet we'll sleep well tonight."

_After I fuck you silly…_

He rolled his tired blue eyes, he chuckled "Alright, Mase…so tell me what high school was like?"

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes, "Ugh, seriously? All the possibilities of conversational topics and you want to talk about high school?"

He looked down at his lap and shrugged, "I've never been to a real school…I just wondered what it was like…"

_Shit, I'm such a dick sometimes…I know how much he craves normality and I know the reason is because he's never experienced any…_

Normal to him was much more mystifying than anything supernatural…

I reached over and nudged him so he'd look up at me. I didn't want to talk about high school but if it made him happy then I'd indulge him, "Forks High School was a fucking joke from the very first day. The teachers droned on and on about useless, mindless garbage that means absolutely nothing but the kids were far worse. Their minds are filled with adolescent nonsense as they worry and obsess over things like school dances and weekend parties and pep rallies. I would spend my days so mind-fuckingly bored that I would count the cracks in the ceiling."

He furrowed his brows, "But I thought you said you were the prom king and shit…you must've had friends…"

Chuckling a little, I shook my head, "No, Jasper, the boys were just scared shitless by me and the girls were too blind to care because I'm so damn hot. It was like a puppet show with me pulling all the strings."

Whit smirked, "And why were the boys scared of you?"

Shrugging, with a whimsical smile on my face, I recalled the ridiculous experience.

"My second day of high school in the gym locker room, there was this big guy, I called him Brutus…"

He chuckled and I grinned, "Brutus was being a stereotypical Neanderthal, trying to bully some of the freshman boys. I mean, seriously, the guy was snapping bare-assed boys with his towel and calling _them _fags…the hypocrisy of high school is frightening. Anyway, I was standing at my locker, with the door open, in nothing but a towel when he comes storming over to me, spouting off about how he was going to wipe the arrogant look off my face…so I let him take a swing, side stepped and hit him."

Jasper gave me a skeptical look and smirked, "And?"

I just smirked right back, "Broke his jaw and several of his teeth, knocked him clean out…but what everyone failed to realize is that when I removed my hand from my locker, I took the padlock with me. And after I hit him with it in the palm of my hand, I put my hand back on the locker and slipped the padlock back in place. No one saw a thing and they all thought I did that much damage with my bare fists."

Grinning, like a mad man, his eyes lit up, "That's pretty good, Mase."

Chuckling, I shrug nonchalantly, "That's nothing, Jasper, because after I knocked him out…I tea bagged him."

His face broke into a breathtaking dimpled grin as he laughed hysterically, "You did not!"

When Jasper was laughing, it was impossible not to join in, "I totally did…even took pictures with my cell phone and spread them around campus. I suppose high school gossip did have its rewards."

We were both laughing and he was wiping the tears out of his eyes as he settled back into the seat with a gorgeous grin, "Tell me more, Edward…please?"

And so I entertained him with stories of high school shenanigans and infamous school lunch horror stories until his exhaustion finally gave over and he was sleeping peacefully all cuddled up in the passenger seat, with a small smile still upon his pretty lips.

I must say, I rather enjoyed this side of Jasper. There were two very distinct sides to him: this one, who clung so strongly to the realm of the "normal" that he spent most of his life sleeping, no matter how wide open his beautiful blue eyes would be…

And then there was a more dominant side of Jasper. I had only seen this side a few times in my life but this was the one I needed now.

Though I was quite certain I loved both.

But soon I would need the killer…the untamable beast…and I knew by telling him my past, I would draw the monster out because if there was one thing I knew Jasper would kill for…it was me.

::

_We were sitting on the roof's ledge, sharing a smoke, like most any other night…but this night was different._

_There was a carnival in town and I could see the bright lights from the Ferris wheel, electric against the dark Texas sky._

_I sighed, "I'm bored."_

_Jasper handed me the cigarette as he used one arm to pull his shirt over his head and lean back on the concrete on his elbows, "It's fuckin' hot as hellfire out here."_

_Yes, it is._

_It was a muggy August night and no wind. _

_I started kicking my feet back and forth against the wall as I looked down at the alley below, "Let's go to the carnival."_

_Taking a quick drag, I handed the cigarette back and he sighed, "We don't got no money, Mase."_

_Smiling up at him, I shrug, "Money's easy enough to get. Come on, Whit. We need to break free every once in awhile…they keep us caged up in here like animals…"_

_And we were._

_But Jasper never seemed to notice the bars on the windows or the fence around the building. I couldn't focus on anything else. _

_He laughed and started pulling on his shirt, "Alright, alright…don't start poutin'."_

_I smiled in victory because, try as he might, he could hardly ever tell me no._

_We climbed down the ladder and took off on a little midnight excursion. We did this quite often and I relished in the small bit of freedom it gave me._

_Soon we were surrounded by brightly colored lights and the smell of funnel cakes. I smiled as I breathed it in, recalling the many times I had shared one with my family…back when I had a family…before I killed my father…_

_He was never with us at the carnivals, no, he was always off getting high…but my mother and Uncle Lorenzo would take us, always bringing along my cousin Emmett and the twins, Ava and Alice…_

"_Hey Mase? You ever been to a carnival before?"_

_His voice, light with excitement, brought me from my memories, "Yeah. A long time ago. How about you?"_

_He shook his head as his curls bounced lightly. It had been about nine months since he had shaved them off to make me feel better but they had grown out again, falling loosely by his ears._

_I smiled as I saw the familiar bulge in the back pocket of a middle aged man, sitting on a bench by himself._

_Grabbing Jasper's hand, I pulled him over to the bench and sat down, "Let's plan this out, Whit. We only have about an hour before it closes so we have to make sure to hit the good stuff, like the Ferris wheel…"_

_He sat down next to me and furrowed his brows, "I don't know about the rides, Edward…"_

_Rolling my eyes, I very carefully slid my fingers into the back pocket of the man beside me, "Oh, come on, Jasper…you can't really be afraid of the Ferris wheel."_

_Cringing a little, he crossed his arms across his chest and huffed "I'm not afraid…it's just…ya know these people put all this shit up in, like, one day and I just don't know if I trust that shit…"_

_My fingers barely grazed the sides of the wallet as I carefully slid it out. Jasper kept talking about the probability of the rides not being safe while I stuffed the wallet down the back of my jeans._

_I rolled my eyes again as he kept on, finally grabbing his hand and pulling him up, "Come on…I have to go to the bathroom."_

_He nodded, following me away from the man and into a small, dirty building that housed the bathroom. Once in, I pulled him into a stall as he stumbled, "Edward, what the hell…"_

_I pulled out the wallet and smiled, "What do you want to eat first?"_

_His eyes were wide as I opened it and pulled out the cash. I hit the jackpot as I stuffed over a hundred dollars into my pocket. Then I grabbed his hand again and laid down about a hundred on his palm._

_But then his eyes narrowed in confusion, "I can't take this, Mase, I didn't even do anything…"_

_Chuckling as I rolled the wallet up in toilet paper so I could toss it in the trash bin, I looked at him, "It doesn't matter, Whit…what I've got, you've got. You're my best friend and if I have money then so do you."_

_He looked at the money in his hand for a minute before pushing it into his pocket. Then he brought his hand up and pushed some of my hair off my forehead, "You're really kinda sweet for a psychopath."_

_The way he looked at me, made my stomach do flip flops so I just laughed as I opened the stall door and buried the wallet at the bottom of the trash can. Then I walked over to the sink and saw him in the dirty mirror, leaning against the stall and staring at me. _

_I met his eyes in the mirror as I washed my hands, "Jasper, don't you know there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you?"_

_A big dimpled grin graced his cheeks as they turned red, "I know. I would do anything for you too, Edward."_

_I smiled as I dried my hands and threw the paper towel in the trash can, "I know. Now, let's go have some fun."_

_He nodded and we took off. We ate so much junk food that even I didn't feel like riding all the rides. _

_So we walked around for a little while and played games. Jasper was insanely good at the shooting games…like a mother fucking natural born killer. Even if he didn't realize it, I did._

_We won all kinds of stuffed animals and shit but we couldn't take that stuff back with us so we gave them to the little kids we passed as we walked along to the next game. He was fantastic at everything…throwing darts, shooting hoops, batting balls…he was fifteen and all arms and legs but gifted with an incredible intensity and concentration…_

_I knew his file had said that Jasper was violent but I had yet to witness it…he always stayed so calm, never lost control…_

_The only time I had suspected he might was when he found me strapped to the bed. But I told him the truth when I said I didn't know what happened…I couldn't remember so he could never inflict the revenge he sought._

_When he won a wooden baseball bat, he kept it. I watched him, partly jealous and partly in awe as he showed off his acrobatic tricks with the bat, throwing it around and catching it as if it were absolutely normal…silly boy, he was quite phenomenal._

_The carnival was closing soon and I knew that it was my last chance so I stopped and grabbed his arm. _

_We were in front of the Ferris wheel._

_As we stood in front of the monstrous contraption, all the color drained from Jasper's face, "Edward, man, I really don't wanna…"_

_I stuck out my bottom lip and gave him the big, green puppy dog eyes, "Pwease…"_

_He rolled his eyes and laughed, "There ain't nothin' sweet and innocent about you, Mase." _

_So I smirked and shrugged, "Fine. I know you don't trust the ride but you don't really have to…you just have to trust me, Jasper. Trust me. Please."_

_Holding out my hand, I watched as he slowly pushed his fear aside and took it._

_I knew that it was odd for two boys our age to hold hands…I just didn't care. He was the only friend I had ever had and I liked having him close to me._

_He needed me to keep him safe…and I wasn't sure why I needed him, I just knew that I did._

_Squeezing his hand, I smiled as I handed the guy our tickets and pulled him along behind me to the seat. Once the bar was locked in place, I saw his free hand gripping onto the metal so tight that his knuckles were white._

_So I leaned into his ear and whispered, "Don't worry, I'm invincible, remember? And as long as you're with me, you're invincible too."_

_Taking a deep breath, he squeezed my hand back and finally relaxed against the metal seat._

_When we stopped at the top, I looked around, smiling as I saw the fields and buildings stretch on and on for miles._

_I've heard of people saying that looking down on the world made them feel insignificant…small…_

_Not me…it made me feel powerful, like I was the Almighty One looking down upon the world, as the unsuspecting, disbelieving common folk lived their meaningless lives blissfully unaware that their entire fate was at my fingertips…_

_Jasper laughed when I told him this and then smirked at me, "Masen, you have a real God complex, you know that?"_

_It was my turn to smirk as I relished in the way he looked against the onyx sky, surrounded by hazy, colored lights, "How do you know God doesn't have a Masen complex?"_

_Laughing, he just shook his head. And I noted that his fear was gone as we began playing around and rocking the seat fiercely._

_It was the most fun I'd had in a long time…Jasper made everything a hundred times better. _

_He was the sweet one, so much unlike me that it wasn't funny. I almost felt bad that I would undoubtedly corrupt him…almost._

_We decided to get a funnel cake to take back with us and share on the roof before we had to sneak back into our rooms. But I had to go take a piss so I sent Jasper off to get us one before they closed._

_I went to the bathroom and was on my way out as the last of the bright lights flickered off. The place was pretty desolate as I started to walk back to Jasper._

_Normally I am very aware of my surroundings, but I was lost in memories of my family and completely missed the sounds of the approaching men._

_And then it was too late._

_A hand was around my neck and covering my mouth as my whole body was lifted from the ground._

_Struggling only caused his fingers to tighten around my neck; it hurt so bad that I couldn't think straight._

_I closed my eyes as I heard the laughter of several men and felt my back hit the rough brick building in the alleyway they had dragged me too._

_The only thought in my head was that Aro had finally found me and this was my end._

_But then I heard my assailants voice and smelled the liquor on his breath, "This is the one…this is the little bastard that stole my wallet. I'm gonna make you pay, you little son of a bitch."_

_I opened my eyes as I stared at the man I pick-pocketed earlier._

_And then I was pissed._

_How dare this simple common man think he can kill me? _

_I had killed more than a dozen stupid men like him by the time I was ten years old. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the switch blade I took from my father's corpse and lunged for the guy's neck…_

_But he moved and I stuck him in the arm instead._

_I blame my lack of oxygen for the sloppy mistake._

_He did finally release me and I fell to the ground, coughing and wheezing as I grabbed my neck. I tried to stick him again but he kicked me so hard in the ribs that my knife went flying._

_My whole body ached as I hacked and coughed, clutching my ribs and thinking to myself that I could've been wrong…that this fucking asshole _was _gonna kill me…_

_But then I heard that slow southern drawl, "Three grown men against a twelve year old boy…now ya'll know that shit ain't fair, but don't worry now…I'm gonna even this shit out…" _

_And then he moved like flashes of color and light against the gloomy buildings behind him._

_He was poetic in his madness…graceful, like a dance with the devil._

_His lithe body ducked under fists as he swung that bat with poised beauty…the crack of a skull as the sound of wood shattering bone reverberated through the narrow alleyway._

_And before the second one could even scream, the bat sliced through the air again, connecting brutally with the man's skull. He fell to the ground as Jasper swung the bat over his head and bashed the man's head in. The bat finally yielded and splintered as it cracked._

_Wearing a lazy smile without a hint of worry, he turned to face my attacker, letting the bat fall to the ground beneath him. He hooked his fingers in his belt loops and cocked his head to the side with a cocky smile and a dangerous glint in his sparkling blue eyes. His dirty blonde curls hung heavy, tinged with deep shades of scarlet and crimson._

_He was elegant…ethereal…he smiled with deep dimples and laughed, "There, now it's just you against me. Dude, you _do _realize how badly you fucked up tonight, right?"_

_The man was obviously shaken as he tried to maintain his tough guy exterior…but you could feel the fear radiating from him._

"_F-fuck you, kid…"_

_I tried to reach for my knife but I cried out as my body revolted against my small movement._

_The expression on Jasper's face changed from playful, from enjoying the hunt of his prey…to intense as he concentrated on the man before him and got ready to make his kill. _

_He sighed, "You hurt my boy…I'm done dickin' around."_

_My boy?_

_And then he lunged as the man took a wild swing, Jasper easily ducked and picked up my switch blade from the ground before plunging it into the guys neck before he even had a chance to turn around._

_I looked up to see him standing there, covered in blood, and holding my blade._

_He stood tall and otherworldly in sinful elegance, a beautiful and bloody angel of death._

_Bending down, he brushed my hair from my face again, "You okay, Mase?"_

_I was simply spellbound as I nodded and struggled to get myself upright. He cradled me in his arms and lifted me up._

_My mind was numb as I just relished the warmth of his arms and the feeling of comfort and safety washing over me. _

_Jasper protected me._

_Jasper killed three grown men in about a minute and a half. _

_Jasper was a monster, just like me. Maybe even better than me. He was good at it…a natural._

_I winced as I made it to my feet and surveyed the gory scene around us. We were both filthy, our clothes and hair splattered in blood._

_Running my hand through my hair, I sighed, "Shit…we need alcohol…check that dickhead…"_

_Pointing to the asshole who tried to kill me, Jasper quickly began his search. He had smelled like a damn distillery so I wasn't all that surprised when Jasper pulled out a fifth of 151._

_Smiling at our good fortune, I grabbed it and rasped out, "Tear a piece from that guy's shirt and give it to me. We're gonna have to do this fast, Whit."_

_Quickly he tore a piece of flannel and handed it to me. I began stuffing one end into the bottle, "You have to move those guys over by this one; we only have enough alcohol for one good fire. The flames should burn any DNA evidence like hairs and fiber and shit but the cops will get here fast so we have to bolt the second it starts. We're minors with no criminal records so the only real way we could get caught will be if it happens within the first few minutes after we start the fire…"_

_With a quick nod, he started dragging the bodies closer together and huffed out, "Can you run?"_

_I took a deep breath and winced as the pain shot through my ribs but my stubborn pride made me nod anyway._

_Rolling his eyes, he dropped the last of the bodies. Then he put his arms around my waist and said, "C'mon, I'm gonna carry you…"_

_Shaking my head, I refused to be his burden._

_But the asshole picked me up against my will and whispered, "It's not time to be a stubborn asshole, Mase…I've got you."_

_His boy._

_Letting out a breath, I quit fighting him. The truth was that my whole body hurt like hell and I really didn't think I would make it without him._

_After situating myself against his back, my legs locked around his waist, I laid my tired head on his shoulder and whispered, "Stick to the alley until the end of the block, then cut across that small park to the residential neighborhood, there will be more hiding places in case a cop comes our way. Stay along the edge of the housing addition until we get down to 4th. Cut across there and we're home. We'll go down to the boiler room and burn these clothes and clean up. Okay?"_

_He nodded as I tightened my legs around his waist and held on as tight as I could. He took the bottle of alcohol and whispered, "Let me see your lighter."_

_My breath caught as I tried to get in my pocket to grab it, so I finally just told him to pull it out. Once he had it, I closed my eyes as he whispered, "Don't let go of me, Edward."_

_I whispered back, "I won't, Jasper."_

_Seconds later I heard the glass shatter and felt the heat from the flames but only briefly until I only felt the cool breeze against my skin as he ran and I held myself tight against him._

_We had made it into the residential neighborhood before we heard the sirens and Jasper stuck to the shadows as the sound became louder and louder. _

_They were combing the neighborhood pretty thoroughly and again, I wondered if we might not get away._

_But Jasper carried me through a gate and into a side yard where he set me down on my feet, "Strip down to your boxers, Mase."_

_I furrowed my brows in confusion but I trusted Jasper so I started trying to get my clothes off. He was down to his boxers before me and helped me the rest of the way, being careful as he lifted my feet to pull my jeans off._

_The red and blue lights were spiraling down the dark residential street and I whispered, "They're gonna see us."_

_He turned and grabbed a water hose, "I know."_

_And then the fucker started spraying me. I was drenched as I squeezed my eyes shut. Then he was drowning himself in the water, washing away the scarlet from his blonde curls before returning the spray to me._

_The cool water actually felt great in the dry heat of the night._

_The cop car pulled slowly down the street before stopping as the flashlight shone on us._

_We were both giggling, enjoying the play time. It was rare that we ever got the opportunity to just be kids. I didn't miss it but even I'll admit that sometimes it was fun._

_The cop spoke loudly, "What are you boys doing out here this time of night?"_

_Jasper smiled and shrugged, "It's Friday night and hot as the dickens out here. We was just coolin' off."_

_The cop nodded, "Well get inside, boys. It's too dangerous for you to be out so late."_

_Jasper nodded and dropped the hose, "Yes, sir."_

_Then he grabbed our clothes and whispered, "Follow me."_

_I hobbled as best I could until we were at the back of the house. We turned to see the cop car's lights growing dimmer and dimmer until they were gone._

_We pulled on our dry clothes over our wet bodies and I hated that he had to help me but I was glad that it was just him that saw me this way…I knew he wouldn't take advantage of my momentary weakness._

_He picked me up again and carried me against his chest. I laid my head on his shoulder; it reminded me of when my mom used to carry me when I was little…it made me feel safe._

_Once we finally made it home, we crawled in through the basement window and torched our clothes and shoes. I had extra clothes hidden down here and on the roof top for us, just in case._

_Again, he carried me back outside and up the ladder to the roof. We shared one more cigarette as we watched the red and blue lights not so far away in that little alleyway. _

_The last thing I remember was dangling my legs lazily over the ledge, cuddled safely to his side…_

_I don't remember going to bed that night but the next day I woke up in the infirmary with my ribs bandaged…Jasper was in solitary for a week that time._

::

My thoughts kept me entertained as I drove and drove and drove some more, leaving the highway and hitting the back roads. I had stopped at an off-road gas station and bought us some snacks and cigarettes. Jasper woke up shortly after and we ate as he drove for awhile now.

Twilight was beginning to set in and we hadn't seen another car for miles as we flew down the old back roads through forests and open fields. It was chilly outside but I was feeling caged so I rolled down the window and stuck my head out, closing my eyes as the cold air burned my cheeks.

Jasper laughed when I finally pulled my head back in and shut the window, "Mase, your hair is fuckin' crazy."

I just rolled my eyes as I lit a square, and then I smirked at him as it clung to my lips, "There is nothing sane about me, Whit, you know that…even my hair is diabolical in its sexiness."

He chuckled and just shook his head as he looked out over the steering wheel to the dark road, dimly cast in a soft white light from our headlights. The day was fading away into darkness and I smiled as I saw the sliver of the crescent moon above.

I enjoyed the anonymity of the night; after all, night time was when the monsters came out to play.

Jasper and I spent hours driving and listening to music, singing along like mad men to classic rock and letting all of our inhibitions run free.

We were just a couple hours from Wyoming when I spotted a drug store as we drove through some little back woods town.

"Pull over, Jasper."

He did as I asked and pulled into a parking space, "What'cha doin', Mase?"

I smiled, "I'm getting lots and lots of alcohol and some dye for your hair. I'm thinking black would look good on you."

Chewing his bottom lip nervously, he shrugged, "Whatever you think."

Rolling my eyes at his nervousness, I reached over and kissed his cheek with a loud smack, "I think you could shave your head and still be badass."

He looked down and grinned widely as his cheeks tinted once again, "Well, I really don't wanna shave my head again, Mase."

Now I chuckled, "Me neither, it's already cold as a dead hooker's titty out here. I'll be back in a minute…want anything?"

Shaking his head, he grinned, "No, I'm fine, thank you."

I couldn't help but smile; he was always my sweet southern gentleman.

Not wasting any time, I quickly grabbed the black hair dye, lots of alcohol, and more munchies.

I was passing the aisle filled with Halloween stuff and I couldn't resist picking up some stupid plastic fangs. And then I picked up something else…a little guy with bright red hair sticking up in every direction, sitting on the shelf in a straight jacket. I smiled as I picked it up and pressed the button on his foot. He started vibrating in my hand as Madonna's "Crazy For You," played.

I laughed and grabbed it too.

When I got back out to the car, I smiled as I slid in my seat and handed the little crazy guy to Jasper.

He started laughing when I pressed the button and it started shaking as the music played.

For a minute, he just looked at it, running his thumb over the wild crazy hair, before speaking quietly, "You're the only person who's ever gotten me anything."

Smiling, I nodded, "Yeah, I noticed you still have your gun."

His lips curled up into a small smile, "Of course…you gave it to me. I call it my main man."

Chuckling, I raised an eyebrow, "Well, I'm here now so he can relinquish my title."

Breaking into a big dimpled grin, he looked over at me with clear blue eyes, "You wanna be my man?"

_More than I've ever wanted anything…_

Smirking, I crawled over until and straddled his lap. He looked up at me and I looked down at him. Leaning in, I swept my lips across his and whispered, "You already called me your boy…don't you remember?"

Dropping his gaze, he blushed, "I remember."

I lifted his chin and brought his baby blue eyes back to mine, "I was your boy back then and I'm your man now. And you're mine."

But he looked sad as he gave me a half smile and sighed, "How long do you think we got together?"

Furrowing my brows, I whispered, "Forever, Jasper…everything's going to be okay…"

His eyes were glistening clear blue as he smiled just a little, though it still held sadness, "No, it's not but that's okay, Edward. I'll take whatever I can have of you for as long as I can have it."

I smiled and slipped my hand over top of his, sliding it down to touch my hardening cock, "You can have all of me…"

He slid his hand around to my hip and held me tight as his other hand tentatively pushed underneath my sweatshirt. His rough fingertips glided upwards as my body trembled and my heart began to beat viciously in my chest, pounding like a bass drum in my ears.

His warm, coarse palm stopped and rested over my pounding heart as he whispered, "Can I have this too?"

I loved Jasper.

He was the entire reason my heart rang in my chest…he was the reason it beat again because before he came along, I was hollow, stone, the walking dead…

Monsters weren't supposed to have a heart because that would mean they weren't really monsters at all…they would just be ordinary humans.

And humans are capable of dying.

How can I be invincible when my heart beats so hard I'm sure he can feel it beneath his fingertips?

I was terrified.

Because I still had to tell him everything…everything about me and everything about him that he didn't remember.

And there was a good chance that Jasper would run from me when he knew the truth, that maybe it would be too much for him to handle.

I would not survive without him.

Apparently I had drifted off for too long because I shuddered as he yanked his hand from underneath my sweatshirt and grabbed my hips, not so gently removing me from his lap.

I wanted to say something as he threw the car in drive and pulled out a cigarette.

But I didn't know what to say.

_I'm sorry…I _do _love you but I'm not very good at it…_

I couldn't tell him that…he thought I was amazing at everything; I couldn't come right out and say that I have no idea how to be a decent boyfriend…

_But I'm willing to learn…_

We were quiet as we drove into the night. It was almost two o'clock in the morning when we pulled into a broken down, back roads motel, intriguingly reminiscent of Psycho.

It didn't take long until we had all of the bags from the car brought in and were finally shutting and locking the door behind us.

The room had a damp smell and the shaggy brown carpet and moss green drapes weren't helping its cause. It looked like a bad 70's porn set. But, despite the obvious lack luster accommodations, I was relieved to finally stop for the night.

I was already exhausted and I knew that the night was just beginning.

Kicking off my shoes, I crawled to the middle of the bed, bringing a bottle of Jack Daniels with me.

Jasper was pacing at I started drinking. I relished the slow burn in my throat as it helped to soothe my nerves.

Eventually he stopped and plopped down in an old chair across the room, grabbing a bottle of vodka and taking a drink.

The silence was louder than screams could ever be.

Once I started to feel my body begin to relax, I plucked at the loose quilt strings and whispered, "I've never told anyone what I'm about to tell you, Jasper…"

I needed him closer but I couldn't tell him that…not while he was so mad at me.

God I hated it when he was mad at me.

He sighed and took another drink, before standing up and walking slowly over to the bed. Then he sat down, reaching his hand over and brushing some of my hair away from my face, "Come here, Mase…"

_He can never resist me…_

His hand slid behind my neck and coaxed me into his shoulder as he laid back. He grabbed the bottle and set it on the floor before wrapping his other arm around me as well.

We were on our sides and I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder, squeezing my eyes shut and whispering, "My parents' names were Elizabeth and Joseph. When I was very young, my mother called me her little prince. We had a beautiful home and fancy cars, I had so many toys that I could play with something new every day. My parents weren't around a lot but when they were, my mother always made sure to do something fun with me…take me to a movie or carnival, to the park where she'd push me so high on the swings that it felt like I was flying…"

_I could still hear her voice ringing in laughter, "Spread your wings, my little prince…"_

"My mother's family was solely responsible for bringing cocaine into Chicago in the 70's. It was basically the center of the Midwest supply and they still ran it when I was a child. As a favor to my mother, her uncles put my father in a position of power but he was undisciplined and greedy…and soon he began using."

_I could still see him sitting at the kitchen table, the sleeve of his hundred dollar shirt pushed up and the needle in his arm. His gravelly voice spitting out his hatred, "You may be her little prince, you little bastard…but don't forget, that makes me king."_

"At first, it was the little things that began to disappear…mother's jewelry and china…then it was our TV and stereo…our cars and furniture…eventually, we lost everything and we moved from our castle in the hills to a dumpy little apartment on the lower west side. I remember being furious because I had to give most of my toys away…they wouldn't all fit in my new room…"

"_Let's just leave him, mom…let's go stay with Uncle Lorenzo…" I pleaded with my mother as I sat on my tiny bed in my gray room that was smaller than the closet at our last house. She brushed the hair from my forehead and pressed her lips against it, "I can't leave him, my little prince, but I promise that I will find a way to make your dreams come true again…"_

Jasper sighed and held me tighter. I kept my eyes closed as I remembered, "I hated my father for what he did to my family. My mother was either sad or angry all the time after that…but she pretended as best she could when I was around that our lives weren't total shit because of him. I was nine and I remember the kids at school making fun of the hand me down clothes I wore from my cousin Emmett who was thirteen. I began getting into fights every single day. I was so angry at the way people treated me…like I was…poor and should be pitied. I wished every night for the death of my father because he had run our kingdom into the dirt. If I were king, I would make our lives beautiful again."

_I had been in many, many fights but my father hit harder than any of the schoolyard bullies I was accustomed to fighting. I fell to the ground clutching my bruised cheek and glared with hate at the man who dared call himself my father, "I am your father and you will treat me with respect!"_

_Sneering, I spit on his worn out alligator skin shoes. Then I smiled up at the man I hated, "Fuck you, Joe…you deserve nothing because you are nothing. Mother will leave you when she sees what you have done to her little prince…"_

_I had been wrong about that._

"My father and I fought constantly but he only ever hit me once. When my mom found out, she had her uncles rough him up a little and threaten to make him disappear if he ever laid a finger on me again. I pushed and pushed my father to hit me again after that but he never would. He was afraid of my great uncles with good reason. My great uncle Aro was virtually the god damn messiah of the cocaine trade, being responsible for all shipments to and from Cuba, bringing the stuff in through Florida and establishing hubs there and California, New York, and Chicago, where he lived. I didn't know much about him but I knew enough to know that he was ruthless, vicious, and that my mother only dealt with him when absolutely necessary…"

I sighed and pulled away from Jasper's arms, reaching behind him on the floor to grab the bottle.

Sitting up, I take a swig, drinking down as much as I can before the burn is too much.

Jasper sits up with me and reaches for the bottle. I hand it to him as he takes a drink and grabs the cigarettes. He lights one and takes a hit before handing it to me. I take a drag and close my eyes, "It was two weeks before my tenth birthday that everything came to a head and I became what I am now…in those two weeks I would have killed more than a dozen people, beginning with the night I killed my father…"

I kept talking and drinking as I recounted the night that began it all…

::

_I was at home alone, my mother having gone out to take care of some business and my father out on a three-day binge. I was surprised to see him stagger into the living room where I lay on the couch watching TV._

_His suit was dirty and disheveled as he tried hard to hold onto the façade of being a respectable man._

_But he was a coward._

"_Come on, Edward, we have to go pick up your mother…"_

_I rolled my eyes as I glared at the TV, "Mother's out on business…you would know that if you weren't a pathetic junkie."_

_He stormed toward me as he growled, "Look, you piece of shit, your mother is in trouble and we have to go to Aro's now!"_

_The mention of Aro shook me and I quickly jumped up, following him to our piece of shit Oldsmobile._

_We were there within the hour._

_It was dark and storming as we pulled down the long narrow drive. Aro's house sat back deep within the woods, completely secluded from everything._

_We ran up the porch steps as the door opened before we even knocked._

_There were two large men in black that ushered us in out of the rain. They shut the door behind us and slid the big bolt lock into place._

_My father ran his fingers through his wet hair as he spoke to the men, "I have a proposition for Aro."_

_I looked around for my mother but saw no signs, "Where's mom?"_

_He smiled down at me and grabbed my hand, "We're going to see her now."_

_One of the men left and returned shortly, "Aro will see you now."_

_My father squeezed my hand so tight that I almost yelped out, but I held my tongue._

"_Listen to me, Edward, you show Aro some respect or God help you…"_

_I rolled my eyes and sighed, "Fuck you…where's mom?"_

_He dragged me along behind him as he muttered random obscenities about my behavior._

_And soon we were inside a room with a long desk and three chairs, all occupied by my great uncles Aro and Marcus, and Marcus's son, Caius._

_I had only met them once when I was much younger. They held an air of arrogance about them and that kind of pissed me off._

_Aro spoke first, "I'm surprised you have the nerve to show up here, Joseph, seeing as you owe me close to two hundred thousand dollars…"_

_I gasped and ripped my hand from my father's grip, "Two hundred thousand dollars? Are you fucking crazy? Mom will kill you!"_

_My father brought back his hand to strike me but Aro stood, "Do not raise your hand to the boy."_

_My father just glared at me and then looked back to Aro, "I'm so sorry for my son's behavior, Aro, please forgive me."_

_I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes muttering to myself about what a pussy my father was._

_It surprised me when Aro laughed, "Joseph, I do believe your boy has something which you are not blessed with…spunk."_

_I call them balls…_

_My father smiled nervously, "I have a proposition for you, Aro…a way to pay my debts…"_

_Aro sat down again and nodded, "Go ahead, Joseph."_

"_It's in my knowledge that you are unable to have the son you desire…"_

_Aro rose up immediately and hissed, "I most certainly can have a son, Joseph, now get to your point!"_

_My father bowed his head, "Again, my apologies, Aro…what I propose is that I give you my son, Edward, as payment in full of all my debts."_

_I lunged at my father, screaming and hitting, trying to rip him limb from limb…but he was much bigger than me and the bastard got my arms twisted behind my back so I couldn't move._

_I was scared and angry and even hurt because what kind of person could trade away their child?_

_But I refused to cry._

_Aro sighed and laced his fingers together, "You are aware that this is my great nephew?"_

_My father nodded, "I know, Aro, but I believe that he's everything you've ever wanted in a son…"_

_Aro looked at me and I glared at him._

_He smiled, "If I were to take him, it would mean disposing of his mother and Lorenzo…"_

_I growled as I elbowed my father in the balls in an effort to get away, "You touch my mother and I will _end _you."_

_Aro laughed, "He is the feisty one…I do rather like that."_

_I started towards him when he motioned for Caius to detain me. Moments later, I was being held in a choke lock, unable to move._

_Now Aro rose and walked over to my father who showed not one bit of remorse for what he was doing._

"_Now, Joseph, please explain to me why I should take Edward, kill Elizabeth and Lorenzo…yet let you live."_

_My father's eyes got wide like he hadn't even considered that…he was a stupid junkie and obviously hadn't clearly thought this little plan through. _

_Even in the face of my imminent demise, it floored me how incredibly dense my father was…maybe my mother fooled around on him because I seriously doubted our genetic bond._

_He stuttered and began to breathe hard, "I…um…I can work for you…help you run things…"_

_Aro smirked, "And you believe that I would let an addict run my operation?"_

_My father was sweating bullets as his eyes glanced to the door._

"_I'll get clean, Aro…I was successful once…please…"_

_Aro turned from him and walked to a desk, opening a drawer and pulling out a gun. My father started to cry and I growled, "Shut the fuck up! This is your fault!"_

_But Aro just laughed as he walked over to my father. I watched as my father dropped to his knees and begged for his worthless life._

_Aro held the gun to his head and looked at me, "Should I kill your father, son?"_

_I growled as I fought relentlessly against Caius's grip, "I'm not your son, mother fucker!"_

_He laughed as he stared at me in amusement…I cursed him out._

_Then he turned and walked over to me, "I'd like to show you something, Edward. I'm going to have Caius let you go and I need you to remain controlled. Do this for me and I assure you that your father will die tonight."_

_I could deal with that._

_I nodded and Caius let me go. I followed Aro over to where my father was kneeling. Aro smiled, "You're going to play a game…"_

_He opened the barrel of his gun and emptied out all of the bullets._

_Then he put only one back in and spun the barrel. He handed it to my father and smiled, "My version of Russian Roulette…you can either point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger or you can point it at Edward and pull the trigger. If neither of you die, then it's Edward's turn and he has the same choice. If you try to kill me, my guards will kill you. Now choose."_

_My father took the gun in his hand as he slobbered and wept._

::

My eyes were beginning to sting and I clamped them down tight as I buried my face in my knees, "I knew that he hated me but when he raised the gun to my face and whispered that he was sorry and he loved me…something in me changed. My father was so afraid of death that he would do _anything _to escape it. I swore to myself that I would never be afraid of dying."

Jasper reached his hand out and brushed the tears from my cheeks, "What happened next, Edward?"

I sniffled and shrugged, "He pulled the trigger, and nothing happened. He started blubbering again as Aro took the gun and handed it to me…"

Then I looked up into his beautiful blue eyes with a crooked smile upon my face, "I brought it to my head and called my father a pussy while I pulled the trigger…then before Aro could take the gun back…I pointed it at my father and pulled the trigger four more times before part of his head exploded…"

Jasper gasped as his eyes filled up with tears, "Jesus Christ, Edward…"

I wiped at my cheek and took another drink.

Jasper scooted closer to me and brushed the hair from my forehead, "I'm sorry you went through that, Edward…"

I shook my head and knocked his hand away, "Don't be sorry for me…I'm evil, Jasper…"

He shook his head now and lifted my chin, "You're not evil…"

With a humorless laugh, I whispered, "I am evil to the core…sin makes us suffer and suffering makes us evil…I have sinned and I have suffered."

::

_I dropped the empty gun to the ground while my father lay, not quite dead but not quite alive either, on the floor dying terribly slowly._

_Aro smiled down at me in amusement, "Your father was a monster, Edward…the only thing that can kill a monster, is an even bigger monster."_

_Looking up at him, I smiled, "I bet I'm a bigger monster than you."_

_He chuckled like a mad man, "We'll see."_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks Imbatnan, you rock. **

**Chapter Six :**

**A question that sometimes drives me hazy; am I, or are the others crazy?**

**Albert Einstein**

**Jasper's POV**

Edward's story was a fuckin' nightmare.

And I could see how the monster came to be, sprung from the anger and hate that infected his blood through his father and great uncle.

I wanted to comfort him because I could tell he was hurting but as horrible as it was, I was kinda grateful for the reminder that he was human.

Mase loved being the monster and I know that he wanted me to be one too…sometimes I was. But it's hard when being with him makes me feel more alive than I have ever felt.

Sometimes it felt like I slipped through life like the walking dead, blind to things I didn't wanna see…but that's where the problem lay…

I wanted to see the real Edward, the one underneath all the grit and grime…the one that knew they'd never let us out…

Not the scared little boy that pretended to be a monster to keep himself safe.

_He just did what he had to do._

Running my hand through my hair, I looked into his wild green eyes, bright from silent tears, "You did what you had to do, Mase…"

A smile edged at the corner of his blood red lips, "Oh, I did _so _much more than I had to do, Whit…"

_I know you did, babe…_

He spoke with a certain air of pride about the things he had done and a shiver ran up my spine, not only from the things he'd done but by my reaction to them.

His wicked little smile fell and I saw him draw in a deep breath preparing for the rest of his story.

_It's okay, Mase…_

Plucking at the loose strings on the shabby blanket, he continued, "With my sperm donor lying there on the floor, slowly and painfully dying, dear old Uncle Aro was still undecided about what to do with me…should he take me to my mother or should he kill my family and keep me for his own?"

Raising his eyes to mine, they looked almost black with anger, the darkness drowning out the bright green behind them.

"He chose the latter. He left and locked me in the room. No windows…no way out…watching my father die, reaching for me to help and me scratching at the walls, just wanting to run as far away as I could…"

I closed my eyes, seeing the image of a little bronze haired boy flippin' the fuck out and tearing at the walls that locked him in until his fingers were bruised and bloody.

When I opened my eyes again, his were closed and I ached for him cuz I knew that what he was seein' right now was just one of a million memories that drove this beautiful boy completely insane…

_He's the sanest person I know…_

Shaking the thoughts from my head, I focused on his voice. It was low and harsh as he spoke, "I was locked in there for two days. There was one lamp in the room and the bulb burned out. My father had been dead for…a while and I can still smell the stink burning my nose…"

He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose as his breaths grew more labored…I could see him fightin' the images that taunted the already frayed edges of his mind…but he was slippin'…

_Poor boy needs a hug…_

Scooting closer, I slowly wrapped my arm around his shoulder, gently pulling him close to my side.

Without any hesitation, he threw his arms around me and buried his face into my neck. His warm breath gave me goose bumps as it fanned out over my neck.

The feeling was familiar and I couldn't stop the sigh of contentment that came from having him safe in my arms.

But then he raised his eyes to mine.

_Long, wet, black lashes over dazzling green eyes…_

And I was a goner.

Strong, slender fingers tightened in my curls, yanking me forward as my hands clawed at the back of his sweatshirt…and then we were kissing.

_Tongue-fuckin'…_

It was hard, deep, sloppy, and wet…we were pushin' and pullin'…gruntin' and groanin'…

Masen was overwhelming in everything…his brilliance…his madness…and when he kissed me, he consumed me.

All thoughts were gone from my head as I felt the mattress against my back, his strong body climbing on top of mine as his lips and tongue kept me pinned there. My hands were clenching the back of his hoodie, pulling him down harder onto me. I could feel him, long and thick through his jeans as he pushed against me…bringing his little monster to life as it twitched and began getting hard.

A wave of euphoria washed over me as his cock slid against mine, each of us swelling against the zipper of our jeans.

Stop Jasper…

_Don't wanna stop…_

Stop…he needs to finish talkin'…

_Don't care, still don't wanna stop…_

My mind was in a battle with itself but my body was in overdrive. Grabbing his hips, I held tight as I rolled him over onto his back, taking control. He gasped as I slid my hand down to his thigh and hitched it up, relishing at the way his now long legs wrapped around me with ease.

I watched his face as I rolled my hips against his, amazed at the way he felt underneath me and the way I could feel him respond, trembling and breaking out in goose bumps.

His beautiful face was flushed and his crimson lips were swollen…his eyes were wide as bright green peeked out from behind the darkness and watched me.

The look on his face was one I hadn't seen before…scared but curious…innocent but willing…

His hand rose and brushed gently through my hair.

_Feels so fuckin' good…_

I couldn't stop the sigh of contentment at the small bit of affection. Then his fingers were twisting in the curls at the nape of my neck, yanking me down as his mouth took mine again.

_Mmm…bet he tastes delicious everywhere…_

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that he was trying to distract me cuz he didn't wanna finish his story…but at the forefront of my mind, all my thoughts were on his mouth…his skin…his taste…

And then the all consuming need to bury my mouth on his dick took over as I sat up, bringing him with me.

He gasped as I gripped the bottom of his hoodie and t-shirt underneath, ripping them up off of his body before throwing him back down onto the mattress with my lips attacking his this time.

I could feel the goosebumps rise on my back where his fingers edged up my hoodie and t-shirt slowly…his fingertips trembling as they slid up, tentatively exploring the scarred skin beneath them.

_Bu he took revenge on the old bitch that put them there…_

::

_We were sitting on the curb outside Mrs. Cope's house about a mile outside of town. We only had a few hours to get back to the Home before sunrise and I couldn't understand what we had been doing these past few nights. Mase just smiled as he took a toke from the joint that he had lifted from a security guard._

"_Research, Whit…you shouldn't go into things blindly, it's too messy…"_

_I knew what he was planning and it scared me. I had only known him about a week but he was, without a doubt, the craziest boy I had ever seen. He said that he was gonna get me a master key and blueprints to the Home if I helped him take care of Mrs. Cope._

_There was a part of me that knew killing was wrong…but there was another part of me, and I wasn't sure how big that part might be, that believed sometimes people deserve to die._

_Mase explained it to me as we sat there, speaking with a mature arrogance that only made him seem more unreal, "Don't feel bad, Jasper. Humans are violent, always have been…I mean, back in the day, towns held large celebrations where they would put a man to death in the middle of the courtyard while the townsfolk had picnics and watched with their families. The world is a fucked up place. People do fucked up things and when one's humanity is gone, he become a monster. These monsters feed on the flesh of the innocent…beastly claws picking and tearing as they slowly devour the suffering children…_we _are the ones who suffer as they rip us into pieces. And sometimes those pieces float away in the wind to somewhere else…somewhere beautiful…somewhere safe. But sometimes, the scarred pieces remain and mend their mortal wounds to rise again…"_

_He began tracing the outline of a raised scar on my back through the t-shirt as I broke out in goose bumps and rasped, "I understand rage, Mase. I _get _that fucked up shit happens and people react with violence when they're in that moment…but to plan it…to prepare for it…it's…weird…like…bad…" _

_His lips curved into a crooked smile that instantly made me smile, no matter how bad I was feeling…it was like magic._

_Never losing his cocky smile, he leaned closer, his breath washing over my face and immediately calming me down as he whispered, "That's your problem, Whit…you see us as bad people…when maybe we're just extraordinary monsters."_

_I looked at his lips for just a second, until his soft crazy laughter broke me free from the haze of smoke around me._

_Two nights later, he slipped in through an unlocked basement window and put a couple of sleeping pills into her bedtime tea._

_Once she was out for the night, we crept into her bedroom and Mase pulled out his Zippo, lighting the various candles strewn around her room._

_As we stood beside her bed, he handed me a candle and smiled a sweet smile, "She'll never hurt another kid again…watch tomorrow as every boy's face lights up at the news and feel like the hero you are for avenging all of us from a monster like her…"_

_I held the candle above the bed, but couldn't pry my fingers from it…I was scared…_

_It was too calm…too serene…_

_I understood violence and rage, hurtin' someone in a fit of anger but all this plannin' and preparation made it feel different…_

_Not necessarily wrong…just more peaceful than I had ever seen… _

_But then his fingers covered my own as he leaned in whispering, "All you have to do is let go, Jasper…just let go…"_

_Together, we dropped the candle and watched as the flames quickly lit up the polyester bedspread, engulfing her sleeping body in brilliant blue and orange flames._

::

I could feel the heat on my body, but it was caused by the feel of his hands on my back and his legs wrapped around my waist, pushing into me. I pulled myself from his lips just long enough for him to yank my shirts off and toss them to the ground alongside his, before I attacked his neck.

My hands were everywhere, exploring the planes of his chest and reveling in the raised bumps along his skin as he shuddered and writhed beneath me. Slowly, I worked my way down his body, running my tongue along the middle of his smooth stomach, lapping at the salty sweet skin and the way his body shook with each touch.

I smiled as I reached his belly button, licking as my hands went to his zipper, ready to set his little monster free as it twitched like crazy just inches from my ready lips. Slowly pulling down the zipper, I looked up to see him leaning up on his elbows, watching me through lidded, forest green eyes. His wild hair was everywhere and his cheeks thoroughly flushed…

_I can't wait to see how pink his cock is..._

Then I heard some weird song and felt a vibration against my collarbone…

'I'm normal outside

He's evil inside

I'm Dr Jekyll and

He's Mr. Hyde…'

I looked up at Edward as he groaned before digging in his pocket and pulling out his cell phone.

He grumbled, "I cannot believe this…"

Then he put the phone to his ear and let out an exasperated sigh, "I was about two seconds away from getting my very first blow job, dad, so this better be important…"

I jumped like a kid who just got caught with his pants down, and whisper screamed, "It's your fuckin' dad?"

Mase just smiled and covered the phone as I scrambled to the floor for my shirt, "It's not like he can see you're half naked. You seriously need to relax, Jasper."

I just rolled my eyes as I pulled my hoodie back on…

_He may not see it but he knows it now._

In reality, me fuckin' his son was the least of his worries. I mean, we just robbed a bank, killed a girl, and ran from the cops and he really believes his "dad" was gonna be okay with that shit? He's seriously delusional…

Grabbing my cigarettes, I plopped down in the old ugly chair and watched him as my heart rang out in my chest.

He smiled as he reached over and grabbed a square from me, "What's up, dad?"

But soon the smile was gone as his eyes went wide and he let out a breath, "You've _got _to be fucking kidding me…okay…are you sure? Yes, we're fine…yes, dad…"

Now he was rolling his eyes as the corner of his mouth turned up into a grin, "Dad, please don't embarrass me…"

It was surreal to watch his cheeks turn pink as he looked over at me with apologetic eyes, "Um…Jasper? My dad wants to talk to you…"

_Oh hell no…_

I jumped up and started waving my hands in front of me as I mouthed, 'No! No fuckin' way!'

He put his hand over the phone and looked up at me from underneath his lashes, stuck out his pretty bottom lip and whispered, "Please? Pretty please with sugar on top? I swear, he's cool, Whit…Please, for me?"

_God damn it…_

And as usual, I couldn't resist him…especially when he was lookin' at me all cute and shit.

_Fuckin' bastard…_

I glared at him as I took the phone and mouthed, 'You fuckin' owe me…'

The fucker just smirked and put his hands behind his head as he nodded.

Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself for this…I had never spoken to anyone's parents before…especially someone I was kinda datin'…hell, I never even really dated anyone before…and if I had, I'm sure they wouldn't even have parents that I would have to talk to…

Trying my best not to throw up, I cleared my throat and spoke, "Um…yeah?"

Waiting for the slew of obscenities he was surely gonna hurl my way, I was surprised when I heard a soft chuckle and the voice of a kind man, "It's okay, Jasper…don't freak out, it's just that Edward's told me so much about you that I wanted to say hi…"

I was not expecting that. I raised an eyebrow at Edward who just looked smugly at me from his spot on the bed.

"Um…hi."

His soft laughter broke through again, "Okay, so I was telling Edward that Bella survived the gunshot…"

My heart dropped and my hands were shaking...I didn't wanna go back to prison but it seemed like that's where I was heading.

He continued, "She told her father that it was Edward but seeing as to how 'Edward Cullen' died a few months ago, I don't think much will come of it. However, the good sheriff is in a very fragile state so I wouldn't completely dismiss him yet. Should he decide to exhume the body, I will contact you immediately and give you heads up."

My mind was racing as I mumbled, "The body?"

"Yes, I'm the head surgeon here at the local hospital and I performed the autopsy myself, no one has missed the body of the pedophile that lies in Edward's place…"

_Holy shit! He's not just 'okay' with it, he's helping…fuckin' awesome…_

I was stunned but managed to breathe out, "What about the girl? Bella?"

_Bitch…_

Again, he softly chuckled and the hair on my arms stood up.

"I'm afraid she didn't survive surgery…I did her a favor, really…she would've been in a great amount of pain and completely disfigured, had she survived…such a pity…"

Shuddering, I dropped back down in the chair and ran my hand through my hair, "It was an accident…I didn't mean for her to get hurt…"

_You don't have to lie to make friends, man…_

His voice was soft, caring, "Son, people die every day. It's unfortunate, yes, but that's the nature of our very existence…to live and die. I assure you she went peacefully. No need to torture the innocent ones…"

_He called me son…_

Warmth ran through me…no one had ever been so nice to me for no reason at all.

"Um…okay. Thank you, sir."

"What's with this sir nonsense? You can call me dad…or Carlisle, if you prefer. Now, has my son told you everything yet?"

Shaking my head for some odd reason, I cleared my throat again and stammered out, "Uh…no, sir…I mean, um…Carlisle…"

I wasn't ready to call this crazy fucker, "Dad."

"Ah, so he was half way through the story and tried to distract you with sexual favors?"

Apparently I had stepped into Masen's world cuz this shit was unreal, "Um, no…I mean, yeah but…"

Edward was chuckling now and I flipped him off as he took a drag from his square.

"Don't worry, son. Edward has been talking about jumping your bones since he got here. Ah, the hormonal angst of the teenage boy…"

_He wants me…he's always wanted me…_

The doctor's voice broke me free from my thoughts, "If I may just ask for one favor?"

At this point, I was just exhausted, so I sighed, "Why the hell not…"

Chuckling just a little, he finally breathed out and sighed, "My son is more fragile than he lets on, Jasper. Just please be careful with him…there's no need to rush through it all, the boy has barely even kissed. He's very innocent when it comes to things of a sexual nature, although he'll try very hard not to show it, he's a little scared. I assume you've had sex before but have you been with another man?"

I was gonna burst into flames at any moment.

Images flashed in my mind of various women…breasts and legs and long hair…guys on their knees in front of me and rough hands…but I didn't recall having ever gone all the way with a boy before.

"Um…no, I don't think so…"

I knew I had slept with quite a few women and fooled around with a lot of guys…I could remember what it was like but it seemed hazy, almost like I was feeling what someone else was doing…kinda like a dream. But I only remembered one woman's name…Maria.

"That's okay, son. The most important things to remember are: go slow, use lots of lubrication, and use your fingers to prepare…"

Right about now, I was wishin' one of those fuckin' cops had shot my mother fuckin' ass cuz I didn't know if I could deal with having a sex talk with Masen's dad.

Mase must've seen it on my face cuz he snatched the phone away as he chuckled, "I can not believe you just gave him the anal prep talk…you're such a sick bastard, you enjoy making people uncomfortable…"

Then his fingers reached out and laced with mine as he blushed, "Yes, I suppose he does need to get used to it if he's going to be part of the family…okay, dad…we will…I'll ask him…"

Looking over at me again, he grinned as he handed me the phone, "He just wants to apologize…"

I felt like an idiot…but then again, he was obviously psychotic so fuck it.

Taking the phone, I cleared my throat, "Uh…yeah?"

I heard a woman's soft voice laughing in the background as Carlisle chuckled, "I apologize for making you uncomfortable before, Jasper, it was just too good an opportunity to pass up. Well, I won't keep you any longer but I'm looking forward to meeting you and we'll speak again soon. Edward's mother would like a quick word with you though. You boys stay safe, son."

No one had ever called me 'son' before. It made me feel something strange, like a warmth in my chest…though that could just be heartburn from the gas station food and Jack Daniels.

"Hello dear, this is Esme, Edward's mother."

Her voice sounded like church bells and I couldn't help but smile at the inviting sound, "How do you do, ma'am, I'm Jasper…"

She laughed warmly, "My, my…aren't you the sweet little southern gentleman…"

I could feel my cheeks burn as she continued, "I'm really looking forward to meeting you, sweetheart…Edward just goes on and on about you…are you boys being safe? Have you eaten anything?"

Suddenly I was laughing at the surreal world I was thrown into, of funny, caring fathers and loving mothers…maybe Mase wasn't as crazy as I thought…maybe his world _was _better than mine…

"Um…we had some stuff from the gas station…"

Hearing her disapproving sigh, I couldn't help but smile, "Darling, you're both young men and you need to eat right. Now, I know you've been very busy so I packed you some healthy snacks. They're in one of the duffel bags, packed in a small, green cooler. Being on the run requires that you take good care of yourself so you can keep your instincts sharp. My son loves you very much…"

The breath left my lungs as I whispered, "He does?"

_I knew it…_

Her soft laugh made me feel warm again, and I was pretty sure it wasn't the gas station hot dog this time. "More than anything, dear…which means that you're part of the family now. So be safe my darling son and we'll talk to you soon."

My heart was racing as my mind went hazy with the thoughts of having a family…Mase had been the only person I had ever been really close to until my sister Rose showed up…they had been the only thing resembling a family that I had ever known.

The possibility of having a mom and dad, even if it wasn't real, was incredibly tempting…

I barely whispered, "Ok…"

She hung up and I just sat there for a moment, head hanging low as I took a few deep breaths to regain my senses. It was obvious that the Cullen's were just as crazy as Edward and maybe even more enigmatic; even over the phone they were able to dazzle me into complete submission.

I was gonna have to toughen up if I was gonna survive this and by _this_, I mean Masen cuz suddenly, my problems with the law didn't worry me at all. I was more terrified of the fact that I would follow that crazy boy anywhere he wanted to go…

Chancing a peek up at him, I caught sight of that familiar smug smirk as his gaze met my own and trapped it there, "Were my parents nice to you?"

Forcefully dropping my gaze, I nodded.

A moment later he was kneeling in front of me, his eyes staring up into mine, leaving me no way to escape as his hands slid along my thighs, "I know what you want, Jasper…what you've always wanted…a normal life…family…I can give you that, or at least I can give you a family that's normal for you. You wouldn't have to be alone…"

_Count me in…_

It all sounded so damn good.

But I knew nothing was that easy and there was still a whole lot more I needed to know.

Taking a deep breath, I found the strength to resist just a little bit longer, "Finish the story, Mase…"

Sighing deeply, he rose from his knees and sat on the bed across from me. He was looking at me straight in the eyes but I could see that his mind was somewhere else as he spoke, "I'm going to try and get through this quick, Whit…I've never said any of this out loud and quite frankly, it's fucking hard."

I nodded, hating to see him suffering but needing to know what the hell I got myself into.

"After too many hours in a dark, silent room inhaling the stale air that reeked of my father's decomposing flesh…my mind…broke…I had been terrified but anger and vengeance soon overshadowed the fear. I searched my father's pockets and found this Zippo and this knife…"

_Wait…earlier he said that he was locked in there for two days but a body would take longer than that to start decomposing…_

He pulled out the old lighter and knife that he always carried with him. Lying them on the night stand, he took a deep breath and continued, "With this lighter, I was able to see the old grate in the ceiling…after many failed attempts, I finally managed to stack enough shit to reach it. The plan was to crawl through the vents until I could find a way out…it was so hot and it seemed like I crawled for hours. But on my journey, I found out a few things…I was in a meth house, just one of the many that Aro used and it was filled with his men, some busy with pharmaceutical work while others seemed to be testing the supply…and there was a little girl locked in one of the other rooms…"

He pulled his legs up underneath him and lit a cigarette before continuing, "I had every intention of leaving the little girl there…but she saw me. She had big blue eyes and long black hair, she couldn't have been more than five or six…the same age as Alice and Ava…she reminded me of them. She asked me to take her with me so I did. Her name was Mary and Aro was her father. Apparently, he had killed her mother out of anger for having a worthless daughter instead of a son…I suspect she had been locked away in that room far longer than I had…"

My heart ached as he told me about Mary…monsters like Aro needed to be put down.

"Eventually, we found our way to an empty back bathroom. We climbed out the window and ran into the black forest. She was so scared but I knew how Aro worked…he would come after us as soon as they noticed we were missing…and they would find us before we ever reached a road or found safety. I _had _to kill them all."

_Of course you did, baby…_

"I found a place for Mary to hide and told her not to move until I came back for her, no matter what she heard or saw. Then I went back to the house…"

His eyes were black and completely vacant as he spoke, stuck somewhere in the memory as he relived it through his words, "Aro had a sprinkler system throughout the house because of how highly flammable his operation was…but he also had one hell of a propane tank out back. The house was in the middle of nowhere so there were no gas lines and its water supply came from a well. Having helped my Uncle Lorenzo repair some old pipes in his basement had given me just what I needed to know…how to shut off the main water valve in the house and re-route it, if necessary. Finding what I needed was fairly simple because I didn't need much…a few tools found in the shed out back and some old aluminum tubing, probably from a dryer. It didn't have to be perfect but I was somewhat certain it would work…and extremely curious to find out…"

Those blood red lips quirked into that devious grin again, "Have you ever seen it rain fire, Whit? I have…and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen…until I saw you naked in the shower…"

Unable to stop my own smile from forming, I whispered, "Don't try to distract me again, Mase. What did you do?"

The fire in his eyes seemed more like a reflection as he relived his past.

"I found the main water valve in the basement and shut it off, then I used simple screws, brackets, and tons of duct tape to connect the propane tank to the water valve with the aluminum piping…I was careful and released the valve slowly as to not bust the makeshift pipe…once that was done, I took the matches I found in the garage and lit a rag stuffed into an old gas can before tossing it into the open bathroom window. Then I turned and ran faster than I had ever run before…"

I shuddered and he smiled, "A small fire started in the bathroom that set off the sprinkler systems…at first, water came out but once the lines were flushed…it was raining fire…people were screaming but it didn't last long until it just blew…I turned more than a dozen men into…nothing."

It was terrifying how brilliant and just how cold he could be. His story was horrifying but I could remember his words clear as day…

_Maybe we're just extraordinary monsters…_

He certainly was.

"Unfortunately, Aro and Marcus were not there at the time…I did, however, take Marcus' only child, Caius…but I suppose I underestimated evil old Uncle Aro because he brought Hell down on me just as hard. It was morning by the time we found a town. Mary had fallen asleep, unable to walk anymore so I carried her on my back and as soon as I saw a nice house with toys thrown across the lawn, I laid her on a porch swing and left her there. She had wanted to stay with me but I knew that I had started a war…I wanted her to have a chance at a…normal life…Aro would have assumed that she died in the fire so this was a chance to start over for her…"

Letting out a deep breath, his whole demeanor changed as his sexy psychotic smile faded, his eyes lightened from onyx to a murky dark green and his shoulders sagged…he didn't look like a killer right now, he looked like a broken child.

Mase was gone and what remained was the real Edward…the one tucked way down deep inside the beautiful, crazy boy…

His voice was soft, barely above a whisper as he closed his eyes, "I found a pay phone and called my mom…Uncle Lorenzo and my cousins Emmett, Ava, and Alice were with my mom when she picked me up. She was…frantic at the sight of me. I remember collapsing from exhaustion the moment she wrapped her arms around me…I was so naïve…I didn't realize that my actions would cost the lives of everyone I loved. It was bad, Jasper…it was really, really bad…"

His voice broke and when his eyes opened, they were emerald green as tears caused them to glisten. Wanting to comfort him, I moved from the chair and sat down next to him on the bed.

All it took was a whispered, "C'mere…"

And he threw himself into my arms, crying softly and whispering through broken sobs as the dam broke, "Aro and what was left of his army came after all of us…Uncle Lorenzo drove us to an old abandoned house, trying to keep us safe…I must've looked bad 'cause my mom called an old friend of hers who was in medical school to come check me out…it was Carlisle. When my mom told him what was happening, he left to get back up for us…Carlisle's family are weapons dealers…gun runners…the biggest on the black market…but he didn't make it back in time…"

I held him as he quietly sobbed in my arms, soaking in the pain of every word he spoke.

"It just happened so fast…all of a sudden there was chaos and my mother and uncle were yelling at us to run upstairs and hide…Em grabbed the girls and we did what they said…there were doors being smashed and bullets flying everywhere, shattering everything around us…I turned and saw my mom and uncle, a gun in each hand as they fought against the dozen men who came in after them. The last time I ever saw my mother, her body was being torn apart by bullets and there were pieces of her everywhere…"

He pulled away, wiping violently at his tears, shoulders straightening, and look of pure hate on his beautiful face. Mase was back.

Grabbing the bottle of whiskey, he closed his eyes and took a long swallow before finally slamming it down on the nightstand and hissing as it burned his throat. He stood and began pacing, his hands shaking as he fidgeted with his hair and his strong chest flexing as he fought to maintain control of himself.

I realized that maybe I shoulda been a little worried that he was teetering on the edge of madness right now but he looked so fuckin' feral that it was taking every ounce of energy I had not to throw him on the bed and break my promise to Carlisle about takin' shit slow…

But his words soon sobered me up.

"We ran upstairs and out a bedroom window onto an old trellis…it wasn't too high up so we made it down really fast and took off running into the night…it was so cold outside and the girls were so small, barely six years old…we could see the lights of the city and knew we weren't far from the roads but it was so black that it was hard to see five feet in front of you…Emmett grabbed Alice and I grabbed Ava because they couldn't keep up…we could hear the gunshots ringing out all round us but miraculously they never struck…eventually they must've lost us in the darkness because the only thing I could hear were the heavy pants of our breath as we ran and the girls crying softly in our arms…"

He plopped down in the chair, looking completely exhausted as he pulled his hands through his crazy hair, "After walking for hours, the cold November air chilling us to the bone, we came to an old bridge crossing a river…we were so tired that we stopped for a minute to catch our breath…we let the girls down so that we could talk without scaring them even more…we were afraid to go to the police 'cause Aro had so many of them in his pocket…we decided our best bet was to try to find Carlisle and ask for help but we didn't have the first clue on how to find him. As we were trying to figure out what we should do next, I heard Ava and Alice scream and I turned just in time to see them topple over the ledge and towards the icy water below…I was the closest and I leapt for them…somehow managing to grab them both, one in each hand as they dangled above the water…"

He dropped his hands down and drew them into fists as his eyes closed and the emotion in his voice grew thicker, "I wasn't very big for my age and even though they were tiny, I started losing my grip…but I wouldn't let go and for a moment I was sure I was gonna go right over into the water with them. Then Emmett's arms were around my legs and waist, holding me as tight as he could, trying to pull all three of us back over, but he was only thirteen, just a kid himself and not very big…Ava and Alice were so scared…they screamed and cried as I begged them both to just stop panicking so I could hang on…but I couldn't…I was losing them both as they slipped further and further out of my grip…and at the last moment, I was forced into a decision…lose one or both…so I let go of Ava and grabbed Alice just as she started to fall…"

_Oh my God…my poor boy…_

His whole body shook with emotion. I reached out to put my hand on his knee, trying to offer any bit of comfort but he shuddered violently before shoving it away and standing…pacing again like a cornered animal, his eyes were black as night as he growled in frustration, "Don't fucking _comfort _me! I don't want it! I don't deserve it! I killed her!"

My eyes were filling up with tears that I forced at bay as I shook my head, standing up slowly, cautiously, while I rasped out, "You didn't kill…"

But I didn't have a chance to finish because he was in my face, backing me hard against the wall. Both hands in fists against the wall beside my face, he hit against it as he whispered, "I did kill her, Jasper. It was my decision and I made it. Don't tell me it wasn't my fault because until you have to look in the eyes of someone you love and decide whether or not that person lives or dies, you don't know what that does to you. I looked into her big blue eyes and let go…don't try to justify what I did, Whit…you have no idea what I'm capable of…"

A shiver ran through my body at the implied warning I just received cuz it was true…I didn't have no idea what Mase was capable of…but it didn't make me want him any less.

_I wanna know exactly what you're capable of…_

As the hairs on the back of my neck stood, from a mixture of fear, unbelievably, desire. I looked into those black eyes and whispered, "Back up, Edward…"

His eyes narrowed for a moment before that hellish smirk came back into place, "Am I scaring you, Jasper?"

I was more terrified about how I was reacting to him, but I couldn't let him know that so I shook my head and tried to keep my voice from wavering as I breathed out, "No…"

Pulling away with an arrogant smirk, he plopped down on the bed and pulled out a cigarette, "You're a shitty liar, Whit."

Closing my eyes for a moment to regain my senses, I threw myself back down on the chair and grabbed another bottle of whiskey, needing something to dull the headache I was getting. I had almost forgotten how exhausting being with Mase could be.

Steeling myself for the rest, I looked up to see him watching me and I mustered up all the courage I had and cleared my throat, "Um…what happened next?"

Letting out a puff of smoke, his shoulders sagged again as he played with the loose threads on the old bedspread, "Emmett yanked us back over before just jumping in after her. I grabbed Alice and ran down the bank to the lake's edge to see him coming up and down frantically in the black water, screaming for Ava…eventually he was so exhausted that he crawled out of the water and into the mud where Alice and I sat…he grabbed onto the both of us and just started crying…I had never seen him cry before but that image of Ava's scared eyes made me lose it too…we all laid there, just weeping until exhaustion finally took us. The next morning, we woke still huddled together. We managed to stick together for a few days and survived by stealing money and food, spending our days hustling and our nights holed up in an abandoned house or building…but then Alice and I got sick, she more so…but the pneumonia wasn't what frightened me the most…Alice acted as if Ava was still with her. She talked to her and played with her…she said that Ava told her . I hoped it was just the fever causing the delusions, but I suppose it wasn't. Anyway, I woke up one morning in a hospital…Emmett had carried us both in after we fell asleep one night and the doctor said that he had saved our lives. I haven't seen them since that day but I found him a few months ago and we've been talking on the phone…"

I was almost afraid to ask but I couldn't stop myself, "What about Alice?"

Letting out a deep sigh, he looked up at me with pain in his eyes, "She's in a children's psychiatric hospital in Georgia…she'd be fourteen, almost fifteen now…"

"So anyway, I was sent to a couple of children's homes but I knew that Aro was looking for me so I began acting out, fighting and basically just being my charming self…"

He flashed a grin at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

But then the grin disappeared and was replaced with a frown, "I was trying to get sent away so that I would survive long enough to get my revenge against the monster that took everything away from me. Eventually, they sent me to Texas. To a children's psychiatric hospital in Texas…"

I was confused cuz he never mentioned that before, "Wait, so the Home wasn't the first place you came in Texas? Cuz you told me once that it was…"

That same haunted look came to his face as he sighed and bent over, grabbing a folder stuffed with papers out of his backpack. He tossed them on the bed and looked up at me with sorrowful green eyes, "I'm so sorry, Jasper…the _hospital _was the only place I stayed at in Texas…that's where I met you…"

Not bothering to look at the faded manila folder, I furrowed my brows cuz he must've been confused, "No…I wasn't ever in any hospital, Edward…it was a children's home…"

His voice was shaking as he spoke and I wanted so bad to see cocky-ass Mase with his evil little smirk cuz there's no way this shit was true…

"No, Jasper…what kind of children's home has bars on all the windows? Why would they have ten foot high fences around the entire building? Don't you remember the meetings or the fucking treatments?"'

_I remember everything…_

My mind was buzzing as images of barred windows and tall fences flashed through it, but that didn't mean anything cuz I know I block out some shit but there ain't no fuckin' way I could've blocked out _that _much shit…I'm not fuckin' crazy…he's the crazy one…

"I remember classes…and lunch…and…um…"

_And the beatings and the medications…_

My heart was racing too fast and my head was pounding as I tried to just remember one thing that could prove him wrong.

But he was on his knees in front of me again, folder in hand as he looked up at me, "Jasper…you say that you grew up in that home from the time you were three, correct?"

I nodded and swallowed thickly as I rasped out, "Yeah…"

"Then tell me something that happened to you before you were nine years old? You must remember something…a birthday…a movie you watched…a game you played…anything…"

Closing my eyes, I tried so hard to focus but my head was screaming at me to stop thinking so god damn hard.

And then I was angry cuz I knew that Mase was a fucking professional at this type of shit…fucking with people's minds…

I stood and shoved the folder out of his hands and he fell backwards onto the bed in surprise. Now I was the one pacing and pulling frantically at my hair, "God damn it, Mase! Quit fuckin' with my head! This is all fuckin' bullshit! I may suck at lying but you're really mother fuckin' good at it but you ain't gonna convince me that I'm…I'm…"

_Just give up, Jasper…you can't win this fight…_

All of a sudden I was exhausted as I just fell onto the bed next to him, my head throbbing and my eyes burning with tears as the realization hit me. My voice didn't even sound like my own as I whispered, "I'm crazy…"

He was on his elbow leaning over next to me as his hand slid along my waist, his fingers edging up the hoodie and tickling along my waist band as he whispered, "I suppose it is much more comfortable to be crazy and know it, than to be sane and have your doubts…"

Looking up into pretty green eyes, I brought my hand to his shirtless back, bringing him a little closer as I relished in his calming touch, "What happened to me?"

Sighing deeply, he grabbed the folder and handed it to me, "I stole this from the hospital when Carlisle adopted me. He was allowed to adopt me because he was a very well respected doctor who insisted that he had the means to provide the type of intense care I needed. Apparently he had been looking for me for quite some time, Emmett and Alice as well but we only recently found them. He made me a deal: he would never try to hold me back from being what I was and he would help me find my family and seek my revenge when I was ready…all I had to do was try to conform to "normal" standards while in public, and not draw unwanted attention to our family. I did the best I could for awhile but then I found out where you were and I had to come for you. I need you, Jasper."

_You do?_

Ignoring the thick folder in my hand for a moment, I pushed it aside and brought my fingers up to his cheek, lost in the depths of green in his eyes, I whispered, "You do?"

Because out of everything he had just said to me…the most important thing was hearing that he needed me.

Nodding slightly as his eyes grew dark and glanced at my lips before coming back to my own hazy eyes, he leaned down and whispered, "I do."

Then his lips were on mine, soft and gentle this time. And this time, he was the first one to pull away. He flashed me a sweet grin and I couldn't help but give him one back.

"As much as I would love to distract you with my tongue right now, Whit…we really should finish this conversation…"

I groaned as my head pounded again, "There's more?"

He sighed and handed me the folder, "Get this over with, Jasper…no matter what happens…I'm here, okay?"

I nodded and flopped over on my stomach as I opened it up. Everything was blurry as my headache made it almost impossible to read. But I did manage to focus on a few words…

_Dissociative identity disorder…unexplainable headaches and other body pains…severe memory loss…sudden anger without a justified cause…flashbacks of abuse/trauma... frequent panic/anxiety attacks…severe physical and sexual abuse…_

An image flashed in my mind so fast that I almost missed it…

_A man, cowering in the corner of an old house, naked and beaten, bloody and bruised…a child standing in front of him with a bloody tire iron in his hand, crimson dripping from golden curls…a scream came from behind the boy and without even looking, he raised his other hand that held a small pistol and fired until the screaming stopped…_

Gasping for air, I held my stomach as my whole body clenched in agony…and then everything went black…


	7. Chapter 7

**I suck. I make no excuses, just hope you have a Happy Halloween!**

**Chapter 7**

**Mase's POV**

I watched him lose consciousness and I had to fight to keep the panic from taking over as I crawled next to him on the bed. I wasn't entirely sure of what was going to happen next but I tried to prepare for every possibility. My dad had warned me not to go into this situation blind. I had no idea _who _would wake up.

"_Son, I really think you should take Jasper to Alaska first, before telling him of his past…"_

_Frustrated I flipped through the folder and spit out, "Fuck that shit, I'm not lying to him anymore, dad. He needs to know…"_

_Carlisle folded his hands on top of his desk and sighed, "Edward, I'm not saying you should continue to keep the truth from him but you must understand that if he truly has Dissociative Identity Disorder, if he slips into his other, or one of his other personalities it's quite plausible that he will not even know who you are. If he feels threatened, he may hurt you…"_

_I scoffed, "Jasper would never hurt me…"_

_He pulled off his reading glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, "No, but you may not be dealing with Jasper, son."_

Had it been anyone else trying to warn me, I would not have paid attention but I trusted Carlisle. And to have my trust, one must really earn it.

:::

"_I have something for you, Edward. A 'welcome home' gift."_

_Sitting at the kitchen table in the bright, open kitchen seemed surreal. It reminded me of my mother with the fresh flowers and spices in the air. But still, I was skeptical._

_I folded my arms across my chest and stared at the man that my mother trusted but I did not._

"_You didn't make it back in time."_

_Carlisle's eyes lowered as he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply, "I suppose it would be a good idea to have our discussion__,__ now that the presence of security cameras is no longer looming…"_

_I waited patiently for him to speak again because I may not have trusted him but I did respect him. I remembered him taking care of my wounds when my mother and Lorenzo picked me up after I escaped. They were close; talked like old friends as I drifted in and out of consciousness that morning._

_The man had a look in his eyes of pure pain but they stayed focused on me as he spoke low and rough, "I didn't make it back in time. I had to go pick up your medication and more supplies. We were out in the middle of nowhere, I never suspected Aro would find you so quickly but he had men everywhere. I called in my backup to meet me there but by the time we got back to the house, everyone was gone…"_

_He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a cigarette. Throwing the pack on the table, he lit one up and took a deep drag before exhaling with a wry smile, "Do not tell Esme that I'm smoking in the house."_

_I smirked as I reached across the table and pulled two cigarettes out. Tucking one behind my ear for later, I grabbed his lighter and lit the other one as I chuckled, "I won't tell if you don't."_

_With a raised eyebrow, he smirked right back, "And do you think I allow teenagers to smoke?"_

_Shrugging my shoulders, I leaned back in the hard kitchen chair and shook my head, "Probably not. Good thing I didn't ask for your permission then…"_

_To my surprise, he didn't scowl or seem pissed off like most adults would. He just chuckled and leaned forward with a warm grin, "You are so much like your mother. I grew up with her and Lorenzo all of my life. Our families were close so we played together as children. Elizabeth was the worst of us all, dazzling the boys at school out of their lunch money with just a smile. She was a force, cunning and so smart. And Lorenzo was one of my best friends. We were like family…"_

_His eyes drifted out the window as his voice began to break back into that low, raspy whisper, "I had been away at medical school and securing our family's east coast connections when your father…happened. If I had been there, it never would have come to that. I should have killed him the moment I came back into town…"_

_Yes, you should have._

_Closing his eyes, his hand trembled on the table, "Anyway things were too deep by that point and I let it go. And then you came up missing. Your poor mother was…there was no consoling her. She was so lost. When you came back, so did she. She was the strong, fierce Elizabeth I always remembered. And then I walked into that house…I found my two best friends in pieces and their children missing. It felt like I was in pieces too…"_

_There was an annoying ache in my chest as I let out a huff of smoke, "What happened next?"_

_His hazel eyes opened and looked right at me, "I called in every man I had to find the ones responsible and to find you kids. We found Ava's body two days later washed up on the shoreline and we didn't know if any of you were still alive. But I never stopped searching. I found Emmett; he's in Juvenile Hall until he turns eighteen so there is no way I can get him out. Then I found you__,__ but you were already at the hospital in Texas and it took years to get approval to legally adopt you. I found Alice too. She's in a psychiatric hospital in Georgia but because of the severity of her condition, adoption is not an option…"_

_I hated the wetness that stung my eyes as I rasped out, "What did Emmett do? And what's wrong with Alice?"_

"_Emmett beat a man to death for soliciting him at one of the foster homes. It would've probably been construed as self defense if he had not beaten him into mush, not stopped when the cops arrived, and then hit a few of them__,__ too. Once he turns 18 he'll be__transferred to a halfway house for two years until he's completely off paper. As for Alice…"_

_He paused and my heart dropped as he rasped in a shaky voice, "She lives in a world that keeps her far from the hospital. She dances through the hallways and pretends she's jumping over stones in the river and leaping on lily pads like a little woodland fairy. She has friends that she talks to as though they're standing right next to her. She says they tell her things…give her warnings of things to come and advice on what outfit she should wear, even though she wears the same hospital pajamas every single day…"_

_His voice broke and I brush the unwanted tears roughly from my cheeks, "Do you believe her?"_

_That was a huge problem with grown__ups…they never believed their kids._

_Raising his glistening eyes to mine, he nodded, "I never doubt my children, Edward. A person's reality is their own, just because I cannot see it, doesn't mean it isn't real…"_

_Sniffling, I stub the cigarette out in the ashtray and harden my voice, "But aren't you a man of science…a fucking doctor…"_

_With a crooked grin, he smirked, "I am many things, son."_

_I didn't mind so much that he called me son. I respected him, even if I didn't trust him yet, and it would also be easier to play house if the outside world assumed we were family. _

_Nodding my head, I forced a smile, "Okay, so where's this gift you were talking about?"_

_He stubbed out his cigarette and gave me a brilliant smile, "He's in the basement. Aro's bodyguard, Max, the one that helped hold you captive. I've been holding him here for many years waiting for you to come home. He's caged downstairs…"_

_Then he chuckled, "In one piece, mostly, though he did lose a few fingers and his tongue…"_

_My whole body warmed as I smiled for real at the man who suddenly did feel like family, "You're giving him to me? Like to kill? Is this for real or are the cops gonna come the second I take a blowtorch to his balls?"_

_Reaching over, he snatched the cigarette from behind my ear and smiled, "It wouldn't matter, they'd never get inside the house; the front yard is booby-trapped with explosives…which reminds me, don't go exploring outside until I've taught you the safe zones. Also, no smoking in the house, preferably no smoking, period. And don't eat anything out of the fridge that's wrapped in red plastic wrap. Only eat from the ones in green. Remember, green is clean, red you're dead. Got it?"_

_I chuckled as I stood and opened the fridge to see it packed with red and green covered dishes resembling a hoard of Christmas leftovers. I grabbed a bottle of water and smiled, "This is cool, right?"_

_He stood and squeezed my shoulder with a warm smile, "This is your home, son. You're welcome to anything you like. Now put these plastic booties on, your mother gets angry when I track blood on her kitchen floor…"_

_Taking a long drink from the bottle, I set it on the counter and slipped the booties on as I steeled my nerve and asked, "Hey, Carlisle?"_

_His eyes turned to mine in question as I looked up at him, "Um…I've killed before, you know. I won't be able to stop…the killing, I mean. My best friend tried to make me quit and I couldn't. I don't really want to. Esme mentioned that I would have to go to school and I'm not entirely certain that I can contain myself and not 'out' us…"_

_He smiled softly as he crouched down so that he was eye level, "I'll teach you, son."_

::

Carlisle taught me many useful things. He taught me the importance of family. I had been taken in by a little clan of monsters like myself and we _are _a family. I wanted, more than anything, to bring Jasper home with me. I wanted to give him a family like how he always wanted because I realized that I owed him.

Jasper stuck his neck out for me a lot, took beatings and solitary and a million unnecessary risks to keep me safe.

It's time I returned the favor.

The sound of a low raspy chuckle caused me to jerk my eyes open as he lifted his head. I was met with sparkling blue eyes and a soft whisper in a deep southern drawl, "Hey Mase…"

My heart was in my throat as I whispered, "You know who I am?"

The smile fell as a look of hurt washed over his face, "Of course I do. You're my boy. Don't you know who I am?"

Then I smiled as I raised my hand to his cheek, "Jasper."

He huffed and my skin went cold as he pulled away mumbling, "This motherfucker don't even know who I am…un-fuckin-believable…"

I watched him as I raised up on my elbows. He stood tall and arrogant, a snarl on his pretty pink lips and golden curls falling over baby blue eyes as he rolled his neck around, working out the kinks.

_His boy…_

And then it hits me as I whisper, "You're the boy from the carnival…"

I remember how poised and sinfully graceful he had been that night with this air of confidence and comfort in his madness that I thought had only existed in me and my family…

The change would have been subtle to others but Jasper didn't hold his head up this high and have that look of arrogance that this boy had…even if he still did look a little hurt too.

"The fuckin' carnival? That's all you remember? After fuckin' everything I went through for you, and that's all you fuckin' remember…"

He was obviously pissed as he shook his head and turned away from me. Grabbing a cigarette from the pack on the nightstand, he plopped down in the old ugly chair and grumbled again. He took a long drag and then looked over where I now sat up on the bed across from him. His eyes were dark and tired as he spoke in a low, deep, drawl.

"You wanted the killer so here I am. What ya want from me, Mase?"

_I just wanna know you…_

Sitting up on the bed, I drew my legs up to my chin as I leaned over to get a cigarette.

After lighting it, I took a deep dragand just looked at him.

_Maybe I do know him…_

My eyes narrowed as I stared at the sad, angry boy and spoke, "What's your name?"

With a humorless chuckle, he glared at me, "You can call me Whit."

Chills coursed through my body as I realized that maybe there was more to Jasper than I ever realized.

"You're the boy from the basement…the first one I met…and Jasper was…"

But before I could finish, the sound of a whiskey bottle smashing against the wall caused me to jump to my feet.

"Jasper don't even fuckin' exist!"

And then he was on me, rough hands grabbing my arms and pushing me hard against the wall. He had me pinned, his fingers digging so hard into my biceps that I knew they'd leave delicious little bruises…

All the air left my lungs as he leaned in so close I could taste the whiskey on his breath. With a guttural snarl, he whispered, "What's the matter, Mase? Am _I _scaring _you_?"

I wasn't scared. I was so turned on I could barely stand it. And I could feel how hard he was against my thigh as he pressed his body into mine so I knew he wanted me too.

So I just raised the corner of my mouth into a wicked grin as I whispered back, "Are we going to fight or fuck? Because I'm cool with both, hell we could even do them at the same time if you want, I'm kinky like that."

I watched him fight a smile but then he let out a breath as he let go of my arms, raising a hand to my face and brushing the hair from my eyes.

The gesture was so soft, so gentle that I found myself gasping for air as he leaned into my neck and whispered, "Do you know how fuckin' long I've wanted a taste of you? How hard I had to fight to keep my hands off you?"

His hand was running down my bare stomach until his fingers wrapped around my jean-clad dick and squeezed with a little growl, "If you give me permission now, I'm liable to just tear you to pieces…"

My head fell back against the wall as my eyes closed. I pushed into his hand with a raspy whisper, "It's okay, Whit. The pieces will mend and rise again…"

His chuckle vibrated against my neck and I broke into goose bumps as he whispered, "Oh I'm countin' on it, Mase…"

With trembling hands, I fisted the bottom of his tee and sweatshirt, drawing them up over his head. Blonde curls fell over pretty blue eyes as sure, strong fingers made their way to the zipper on my jeans.

But then he stopped as his pink lips quirked into a wicked smirk, "I reckon I might ought to make you squirm and beg a little bit…punishment for your sins and shit…"

And with that he turned away and plopped down in the old chair, lighting up a cigarette with an evil chuckle.

Now I was infuriated.

"What?! What sins?! Killing, Bella?!"

Cracking open another bottle of whiskey, he takes a swig and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, "Like I give two shits 'bout that fuckin' bitch…"

I was in front of him, fists clenched in agony because I couldn't take him teasing me like this. I had waited far too long to touch him too…to taste him.

"What then?! Fucking tell me, Whit!"

His smirk was killing me. The bastard was toying with me now. I wanted Jasper back. He was easier to manipulate than this fucker. I am not the one that gets taunted, but the one that does the taunting.

And I don't fucking beg.

_But speaking of manipulation…_

Turning my back, I walk to the small bathroom as I sigh, "You know what? Fuck it. I don't give a shit. You're not Jasper anyway…"

I got the desired result as I quickly shut and locked the door behind me, just in time to hear him beating at it furiously. Watching it shake and rattle the frame, I smiled as I stripped off the rest of my clothes and turned on the hot shower.

Stepping under the burning water with the curtain left open, I began lathering myself up as I decided to taunt back, "Aww, come on, Whit…are you gonna let a little wooden door stop the big, bad monster?"

He was growling viciously but then he just stopped. The door stopped shaking and he was no longer furiously pounding against it.

_Shit…did he leave? I shouldn't have teased him…_

And all of a sudden, I was worried.

_Maybe I went too far…I just wanted to fuck…I didn't mean to hurt him… _

Quickly, I rinsed off under the spray and grabbed a towel. Wrapping it around me, I flung open the door as I rasped, "Whit? Whit, I…"

But he hadn't left. He was sitting on that old ugly chair, going through one of the duffle bags at his feet. They were filled with guns, ammo, weapons…

He didn't raise his eyes as he spoke low and harsh, "Looks like you're fixin' to start a war. I'm gonna ask you again…what ya want with me, Mase?"

"I just want to be with you…"

And for the second time that night, I was slammed against the wall but this time his hand was around my throatas he growled, "Quit fuckin' lyin' to me! You don't want _me_! You want that pussy, Jasper and I ain't fuckin' dumb as you think I am, you little motherfucker. I know why you want him. Cuz he's weak…cuz he gives in to your bull shit…well, guess what? The only reason…the _only _reason Jasper is still anywhere near you, is cuz _I _tell him to stay. Who do you think brought us to fuckin' Forks of all god damn places for a measly fuckin' bank robbery? If that fucker had any say in it, we'd still be lyin' on that dirty fuckin' couch holed up in Rosalie's apartment so god damn numb from the pills that we couldn't fuckin' move. I'm the one that makes all the fuckin' calls 'round here. I'm the mother fucker in charge. So let me ask you again, Mase…am I fuckin' scarin' you now?"

My heart was racing but for something different this time.

Fear.

Not fear of the monster, but fear that if he was controlling Jasper, he could make him disappear and yeah I manipulated Jasper a lot but I loved him too.

So I nodded as best I could with his hand wrapped around my neck, tight but not hurting me because I still believed he would never hurt me…a lot. At least not on purpose.

I rasped out, "I didn't…I didn't mean it…"

Letting go of me, he turned his back and shook his head, mumbling, "Fuckin' liar…"

Breathing in a few deep breaths, I went to the other duffle bag and pulled out some sweats. Quickly pulling them on, I threw the towel on the floor and sat down on the bed across from him in the chair.

This was a situation I hadn't expected. Apparently Jasper and Whit are part of the same boy. But the thing that confused me is that they were both different from the boy I remembered. The boy I remembered was equally sweet and terrifying. It's like he's been sliced down the middle; two exaggerated versions of his old self but that was impossible if he's had DID all along. Something wasn't adding up and I would figure it out because I had to.

I was in love with one or maybe both of these crazy fuckers.

He was sitting in that old chair with his legs drawn up, looking so sad that it broke my heart. I didn't like seeing him this way.

Looking off into the corner, he began slowly rocking back and forth as he mumbled so low I couldn't understand what he was saying.

And I couldn't take it as his hands slid into his hair and his eyes glistened as he shook his head mumbling, 'No, you're wrong,' over and over again…

It had never really occurred to me that he was suffering, that there was something _really _wrong. But he looked _shattered_.

Again, I felt fear.

Before I could stop myself, I was across the room, on my knees in front of the old ugly chair.

I remembered back to when he found me strapped in the hospital bed, the comfort I felt when he just pulled me close and held me. I felt torn to pieces…

::

"_No! Don't fucking touch me, goddamn it!"_

_The man's arm was tight around my neck, cutting off my air supply but I was relentless. Kicking his hand as hard as I could, watching the syringe fly from his hands and crash against the wall. _

"_Fine, you little shit! No medication, strap him down!"_

_They dragged me to the bed, kicking and screaming as I fought back. I was foaming at the mouth as I screamed, "I'll fucking kill you! All of you! You're fucking dead!"_

_Strong, brutal hands strapped me down as I shrieked and shook the bed. The agony of being restrained caused me to finally just break down into sobs as I cried out, "Please! Please stop! Please don't! I'm sorry! I'm fucking sorry!"_

_All I fucking did was steal his fucking cigarettes._

_But they shoved something into my mouth that prevented me from screaming as they chuckled, "It's about time this crazy mother__fucker shut the hell up."_

_Straps went over my forehead, pinning it down to and I was completely powerless to stop them._

_Always the powerless little human boy, too weak to fight back…_

_I felt the shears close at my scalp and I knew what was coming next. The tears ran down my face and my whole body shook in fear…until they flipped the electricity that made my body shake for an entirely different reason…_

::

I had to help him. I couldn't watch him suffer.

So very carefully, I slid my hand over his in his hair, whispering, "Whit? I'm sorry. I'll tell you everything you want to know. No lies, no bullshit, the truth. But I need you to come right here…"

Patting my shoulder, he looked over at me with haunted blue eyes but made no effort to move. I smiled, a real smile, not a smirk, and whispered, "Come on…you used to hold me all the time when we were kids. Let me return the favor."

And then his arms were around me, his face buried in my neck as I wrapped my arms around him. He held onto me tight as if he was afraid I would disappear if he let go and I chuckled, "It's weird…I'm so used to you holding me…feeling so small against your body…but I'm the same size now. It's different, but not bad."

Then he pulls away and looks at me with such an intense look that the breath leaves my body as he whispers, "Don't let him be right 'bout you, Mase. Don't fuckin' lie to me. Don't try to fuckin' manipulate me. And don't _ever _fuckin' underestimate me, cuz you got no idea what _I'm _capable of."

I understood the implied warning.

The corner of my mouth raised in a crooked grin, "Deal."

Now that all of the bullshit was out of the way, I was hoping we could just talk. I would tell him what I wanted from him and he could tell me everything that happened to Jasper…I mean, to both of them…

Settling down on the floor by the duffle bags, I opened one, pulled out the green cooler and smiled, "So, my mom has this unhealthy obsession with us eating healthy. It's this really weird tofu and spinach spread but I've found that if you cover it in hot sauce and eat it on potato chips, it's pretty good. Do you…um…want to try some?"

_Fuck, why am I nervous? Why the fuck am I mumbling?_

It's not like this was some dumb first date or something…

But my slip up was worth it when I saw his sexy dimples as he slid down on the floor next to me, "Sounds nasty as fuck but can't be no worse than the gas station hot dog earlier."

I felt like a dumb ass as I grinned back, my cheeks starting to heat up as I opened the cooler and pulled out the spread.

_Fucking stop blushing! God__damn it, keep it together! Fuck!_

He grabbed the bag of potato chips and chuckled, "How the fuck didn't this shit get wet from the river?"

I shrugged as I started dousing the dip with hot sauce, "They're, uh, water proof up to fifty feet. They were designed by these deep sea excavators in the Polynesian Islands, they're like this really old couple named Connie and Frank, very small people…um, friends of my father's."

_Oh my God! Stop rambling like a dumb__ass! Fuck! This is just like before I left! Like I'm still an awkward preteen boy sitting with the boy that made him get his first hard on!_

But he wore a sexy smirk, which was different than I was used to seeing on him. Leaning back on his hands, his lean stomach was on full display as he chuckled, "What's wrong, Mase? Ya seem kinda nervous. Somethin' botherin' you?"

I licked my suddenly dry lips and shook my head as I focused on the dip.

"Uh…no. I'm fine. Um…are you okay?"

_What. The. Fuck._

The bastard was enjoying watching me squirm, just like he said before I pissed him off. With a long, deep, groan, he rolled his neck again as his hand slid down his stomach and wrapped around his hardening dick through his jeans, "Mmm, I'm kinda all sticky and hot. Still a little worked up from earlier, I guess. Should probably go take a quick shower 'fore we get started here…"

I bit my lip as he slowly stood and stretched, that light brown hair at his navel teasing me as it disappeared below the waist of his low slung jeans.

Then he chuckled, "Hey Mase?"

Swallowing against the sudden dryness in my throat, I slowly raised my eyes up along his long legs, taking in his impressive cock outlined against the tight denim, his tight stomach muscles and lean chest, the black and gray ink dancing along beautifully scarred skin until I reached a cocky smirk and teasing blue eyes.

"Um…what?"

The fucker was wearing an evil, sexy grin, "Are you really a virgin?"

And with that grin, the tension in my body churned into something else…something intense and lustful as I leaned back on my hands, cocking my head with an equally evil, sexy smirk, "Are you really a monster?"

_Because I wanna take you home with me…_

With a raspy chuckle, he palmed his dick again as he looked down at me, "Maybe if you're a good boy, you'll find out…"

Running my hand down my stomach, I wrapped my fingers around my dick through my sweats and smirked, "If I have to be good, then I'll never find out…"

He disappeared behind the door with a chuckle and I flopped on my back to the carpet and gripped my hair as I groaned, "Fucking Hell…"

My head was already spinning. Maybe it was too much alcohol.

Reaching over, I grabbed a cigarette and lit it up. Taking a deep draw, I tried to process all of the information I had just received. Ever since I had stolen that file, I always assumed Jasper's 'alter' was a totally different person that I had never met. I never thought I would actually _know _his other personality…that he would _know _me…that it could be 'him' that I fell in love with all those years ago.

And I had to admit, I was really liking this crazy, balls-to-the-wall Whit…but I also had a soft spot for sweet, crazy Jasper.

They both had traits that I liked, more than I would ever admit.

But still, I had a job to do and I needed Whit's help to do it...and then we could go home.

Sitting up, I shuffled through the duffle bags until I found the blueprints of the hospital that Alice was kept in. Unrolling it, I smoothed it out on the floor as I studied it for the hundredth time.

Eventually the bathroom door opened and the steam rolled out as he emerged, wet and beautiful with only a towel wrapped around his waist.

I wanted to make some snarky, brilliant remark but I couldn't get words to form in my watering mouth. He strode over and gave me that sinful, dimpled grin, "Close your mouth…'lest ya want me to stick my dick in it…"

My jaw snapped shut, not necessarily in protest but in shock…Jasper would never say something like that to me…

_But this isn't Jasper…_

Feeling the fire burning my cheeks, I dropped my eyes back to the blue prints and scowled as I ate a chip.

_How dare he talk to me like that? And how dare _I_ like it so much…_

I heard him rustling around as he got dressed but I didn't let myself peek, no matter how badly I wanted to.

Eventually, he plopped down next to me on the floor, the scent of soap wafting from his skin and those wet, dark curls shaking as he snatched the bag of potato chips out of my hand with a chuckle, "You're doin' it wrong…"

Glaring over at him, I huff, "Doing _what _wrong? And don't snatch things from me…"

Leaning over, I tried to get the bag from him but he held it away and laughed even harder, "Ain't my fault you're a spoiled brat that never learned to share…"

And now he's insulting me.

I gasped in shock, "I am not!"

He just continued laughing, "Oh yes you are, Mase…you're as rotten as the day is long…"

Crossing my arms across my chest, I growl, "I am not spoiled…you don't know anything about me."

Now the dimpled grin falls from his face and his eyes turn steel gray as he mutters, "I know everythin' 'bout you…it's _you _that don't know _me_, right? Well, Mase, I'm just lettin' ya know now, you ain't runnin' things, you ain't in charge here. I don't follow no one so if you want me to work with you or somethin,' then you're gonna have to learn how to quit bein' so goddamn selfish…"

Now I was gawking…who the hell did this boy think he was?

"How can you say that I'm selfish? I came back for you…"

He laughed humorlessly, "You came back for Jasper, not for me…"

"But I didn't even know you existed…"

His eyes narrowed and his lip snarled as he stared at me with cold, stormy gray eyes, "You stole the file when you left with your precious new family…you knew all about his little problem for four fuckin' years before you came back…and now that you're back, I'm willin' to bet both our fuckin' lives that it's cuz you want somethin' from us…you ain't never done nothin' that wasn't 99% selfish…did you ever take a beatin' from those goddamn sadists at the psycho ward for me? Shave your head? No, you didn't but I remember spendin' weeks at a time in the fuckin' hole, coverin' for you…and then you just fuckin' left like it wasn't nothin…"

_Was he mad at me for leaving?_

I tightened my arms around my chest as his words sunk in and I started to put pieces together.

We only really hung out at night, his morning medication finally wearing thin by the time we were ready for our night time sleeping pills. But I taught him how to fake taking those so at night must be when he was 'awake.'

During the day, he was heavily medicated by a shot of lithium straight into his veins…no way to really fake that one. So during the day, Jasper sleepwalked through the building, lost in a waking day dream made up of ridiculously normal things like classes and school…but at night, his senses were at their sharpest, his mind becoming more unclouded with each pill he pretended to take.

This was the boy who protected me…fought for me…killed for me…loved me.

Looking deep into those dark, smoldering eyes, I whispered, "It was always you, wasn't it…you were always the one…I'm sorry, Whit, I didn't know…"

He just rolled his eyes and turned away from me, "Well, now you do…don't change nothin' though…you still don't know me…but at least, you don't know _him _either…"

I couldn't understand the contempt he had for Jasper, the hatred for the sweet, hesitant boy confused me as I whispered, "Then tell me, Whit…tell me everything. Please, I wanna know…"

For the longest time it was deadly quiet, but then I heard a deep sigh.

His voice was much softer this time, "When we was little, we had two dogs, Rambo and Rocky…the grown ups would always beat 'em every chance they got then lock 'em up in small dirty cages…they used 'em as fightin' dogs…"

I opened my eyes now to find his closed as he continued to whisper, "But I felt bad for them, and knew that if they ever got the chance, they could get away and be free…so one night, I snuck outside in the back field and undid their cages…and they took off…this old man that stayed where I stayed, he heard the ruckus and came out back with his shot gun…but Rocky turned back and attacked him. That dog fought that man till the bastard finally aimed the shotgun and blew a hole right through him…but Rambo got away…"

His baby blue eyes opened now and I could see the pain in them…feel it as if it were a tangible thing.

"For punishment, I was kept in those cages for weeks and treated like a dog…and it was the best time of my whole life cuz in those few weeks, I could pretend that I was strong enough to fight till the death or smart enough to run away…"

My heart was in my throat and I found myself reaching out my hand and covering his on the floor.

His fingers clasped with mine as he dug them into the soiled carpet while he began to rock back and forth.

"I don't…I don't know how old I was the first time I killed a man…but I know that for the first time in my whole miserable life, I didn't feel like…like a…"

"Victim."

His eyes snapped to mine as he glared, "I ain't no fuckin' victim…I'm a trained killer, Mase. Grew up in this 'camp' right outside the Mexican border. They claimed to be a religious group but really, they was a fuckin' militant group that used religion to brainwash all the women into thinkin' they was the goddamn messiah…my mama was just another junkie whore they kept close by to satisfy their needs but she wasn't the only one they used…"

A chill ran up my spine as he closed his eyes, the grip on my hand tightening until his knuckles were solid white. Gritting out through his teeth, he grunted, "We were trained, prepared for the next comin'…the holy war, they called it, but really they just liked to play with guns. I remember there bein' a dozen kids around when I real little but by the time I was eight or nine most of 'em were gone. They liked to make examples outta the kids that misbehaved but it usually went too far and one of us was gone again…I can remember the smell of my friends as they burned on the bonfires those assholes roasted hot dogs in…"

I was barely able to breathe as he snarled and huffed with eyes clamped shut, "They deserved what I did to 'em…they deserved worse than what I did to 'em…"

Very softly, I spoke, "Whit? Jasper thinks he was in the Children's Home since he was three years old…"

He answered with a rough, raspy grunt, "I was nine when I got locked up there. Jasper don't need to know nothin' before that. He ain't like us, Mase. He ain't no monster."

Lifting my other hand, I carefully pushed the golden curls from in front of his face as his eyes snapped open.

Baby blue eyes stared right through me as I whispered, "What did you do, Whit?"

He was lost in a memory, those eyes cloudy and unfocused as he just stared at me but was seeing something else completely.

With an unbelievably hollow voice, he rasped, "If they didn't want me to kill them then they shouldn't have trained me to be a killer."

The flesh on my arms rose and prickled as he spoke softly but with malice as he pushed the anger off his tongue… sticky and thick, dripping with festering rage just ready to explode…

"_They_ were monsters…the worst kind…gettin' girls as young as thirteen pregnant but fuckin' us all…everybody knew, they saw and they turned the other goddamn way…thinkin' those fuckin' vermin had the right to rip us open until we were raw and bleeding…they were s'posed to be savin' our souls but they were damnin' us instead…"

My eyes were burning, wet with fury over what had happened to him.

Uncle Aro was a sick son of a bitch but at least he didn't have a thing for little boys.

The grip he had on my hand was killing me but I would never let his go.

With a low growl in his throat, he snarled, "One of them dragged me out to the barn one day and when he was done with me, I was lyin' on the cold concrete, covered in _his _sweat and _my _blood…there was a tire iron within my reach and I didn't think…I just reacted. I grabbed it and swung takin' out his knees first so that he couldn't run. He was an older man so one swing broke his leg. His screams was like music to my ears…'you're so pretty when you cry,' that's what he always said to me…he wasn't so pretty though, at least not until I bashed his brains in…that was pretty…that was a mother fuckin' work of art…"

_I've never heard of a barn having a concrete floor…_

Pulling away from me to grab a cigarette and the bottle of whiskey, my hand throbbed and ached as the blood began to rush back through it.

He took a swig and handed it to me as he lit up a cigarette and threw me the pack.

I mumbled a quick 'thanks' as he leaned his back up against the bed and sighed, "His head was split open, the white walls splattered in blood and brains…he had a gun tucked under his arm and I remember pullin' it outta the holster…the weight surprised me…it was heavier than I thought it'd be. Then the familiar screams of dear old mama came up from behind me and I just closed my eyes, raised the gun and fired until the screeching stopped. But I guess I caused quite a commotion cuz I could hear the others comin' and knew they'd rushin' in and killin' me soon and I'd be free…but I wanted to take as many of them with me as I could so I hid in the loft…and then I waited. It didn't take long for most of them to gather around the bodies, screamin' and cussin' for me…there was a small window that I somehow managed to get to and jump out of without them hearin' me in all the ruckus…"

_White walls?_

Now he smiled, "That jump hurt but I ran and as soon as I was far enough away, I turned and stopped, raised my gun and just started firin'…there were two huge gas tanks behind the barn and they just exploded. There was fire everywhere and people runnin' and screamin'…turns out, those fuckers smelled a hell of a lot better when they burned..."

That made me smile as I imagined it…the carnage and mayhem caused by the beautiful monster in front of me with his debauched dimples and baby blue eyes.

"So what happened next?"

He shrugged, blowing a puff of smoke out, "I ran into the woods and stayed there, just wanderin' and livin' off the land as much as I could…I don't know how long…but eventually some hikers found me asleep on the ground and called the cops. I didn't wake up till they had already got there so it was too late to run. They pieced together the information they had and knew that I was one of the children from the commune that burned to the ground. The official statement was that some of the members rebelled and opened gunfire…I was the one person they never suspected. I was free…"

_Yes…he was more monster than I ever dreamed…my perfect mate…_

Letting out a breath, I looked over at him with wide, awe-filled eyes, "How'd you end up at the hospital?"

I was simply captivated as he smirked, "I went on shut down mode, quit talkin' to anyone or doin' anything…but sometimes I lashed out. I was in a home once, for about six months, but this older boy there would rape the younger ones in their beds at night. He'd hold a knife to their throats and...anyway, one night, I crept to his bed and told him I had a surprise for him…he thought I was real pretty so he followed me out into the hallway, away from pryin' eyes…there was this big picture window, overlookin' the city and I told him to sit down on the ledge and close his eyes…he did…then I shoved him through it…"

His face was sullen now and his eyes clouded from memory as he spoke softly while he plucked at the dirty, loose strands of the carpet, "That's when they sent me away to the hospital. Someone saw me with him in the hallway but couldn't prove I pushed him. That's when I shut down…it really wasn't that hard cuz they kept me good and fucked up all day…lithium's a motherfucker…"

With all the horrors of his past, I felt this strong connection with him…even stronger than anything I had felt before. It made my stomach burn and the world spin out of control until I was _really _talking to him.

"Lithium sucks but it's got nothing on electroshock therapy…at least lithium doesn't hurt…"

His eyes snapped to mine, like clear blue seas and he finally looked _at _me and not _through _me.

"They was shockin' you?!"

Before I could answer, he grit his teeth and held his breath as he growled low and menacing, "That's why they shaved your head…_motherfuckers_, I shoulda killed 'em all…shoulda burned the whole place to the fuckin' ground…"

This felt different. This felt new. But it wasn't entirely bad.

Because the burning in my stomach had turned into a brilliant warmth, saturating my body like a drug.

It caused the corner of my mouth to turn up in a crooked grin as I grabbed his fist and ripped it open. Clasping our fingers together, I whispered, "I really missed you, Whit…"

His eyes snapped to our hands, watching them like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

And then he did the strangest thing…lifting our hands, he pressed his warm lips against my knuckles and smiled as he whispered, "Missed you too, Mase…"

I didn't even have time to react because his lips were on mine, forceful and needy as he pushed me on my back against the dirty brown carpet.

One arm instinctively wrapped around his shoulder, my fingers digging into his back as he held our clasped hands to the dirty floor. The skin of his back was strong and slick, still damp from his shower as my fingers skidded across scarred flesh and lean muscle…

He was between my legs, leaving me no choice but to wrap them around his thighs and hold him to me with every bit of strength I had.

His mouth was hot, tasting of whiskey and cigarettes, but completely wonderful as his tongue pushed against mine with a little breathless whimper.

My body was shaking as his fingers dug into my hips, clawing at my sweatpants and letting go of my hand so he could have both to drag them down.

I gasped when the cool air hit my cock as it sprang loose from it's confines and bounced against my stomach lightly. It was already hard and weeping, leaving a sticky spot on my belly as he raised up on his hands and grinned, drawling out, "Well, my, my, my…you really _were _just cold, huh?"

Rolling my eyes, a laugh escaped my throat as I reached up and started tugging his sweats down over his hips, "I told you so…"

He's laughing, his blue eyes sparkling and I find myself taking a breath because the man is simply beautiful.

And I simply have to have him.

So I take the opportunity to catch him off guard as he's laughing. Hooking my legs around his, I grab his arms and fling him over until he's flat on his back and I'm the one hovering as I tear his sweats the rest of the way off.

But he counters quickly and we're side-by-side, face-to-face, swelling cocks pressed together and hands clasped together as he smirks lazily and drawls out, "Jasper promised your daddy he would take it slow with you…"

With a lustful smirk and dazed eyes I respond, "Well, you ain't Jasper…"

He chuckles dark and low as he nuzzles against my neck, nipping at the skin while he pushes me to my back and I feel utterly human because I'm helpless to stop him.

I rasp out, "Please let me fuck you, Whit…"

When I push my hips up, rubbing my cock against his, he growls, "_Nobody _fucks me, not even you. And if I fuck you, I'm gonna hurt you…"

I was surprisingly okay with that. Pain is my friend. An old security blanket that wraps around me and allows the monster to rise to the surface and bubble over in an indiscernible emotion that I can only describe as comfort.

Many people say that pain reminds them they're human, but the ability to channel it into something warm and comforting is what reminds me that I'm above the humans…I'm a monster.

That's what I take comfort in.

My hands are still pinned and for once, I don't find myself fighting back but aching for more…a bite, a pinch, a scrape of the nails…

Groaning, I arch up to him again, "Then hurt me like you mean it…"

Because I know that he does. He's still angry at me for what he considers a betrayal. The sting of me leaving and then coming back for someone he so clearly detests makes him want to hurt me. The agony and torture he endured for me so many countless times during our childhood is leaving him breathless with desire for retribution.

But I know him…and as badly as he desires to make me suffer, he will not hurt me for petty spite.

My suspicions are confirmed when he half-growls, half-cries, "I don't _wanna _hurt you…"

I'm a little shit, I know this. And under normal circumstances I would view this inability to take me down as a weakness but never with him.

For him, I don't mind paying my penance because I did do him wrong. It was unintentional, the foolish actions of a brutal child but my sins to pay for.

So for once, I take the lead and accept the punishment myself, pushing against him as I fight to roll him to his back.

It's a bit of a struggle with some kissing, some biting, and a few scratches but eventually he gives in and I'm straddling his legs.

Letting go of his hands, I raise up to my knees as he pushes up against me and growls, "I said I don't get fucked…"

And I find myself smiling as I reach over and pull out a small bottle of lube from my duffle bag. Slicking my hands, I reach back and push two wet fingers inside of myself as I grip his hot, rigid flesh with a twist, coating him in the wet sticky substance.

"Just because it'll be your dick in my ass, doesn't mean _I'm _not fucking _you_, Whit…at least if I do it right…which, you know I will…"

His eyes go from guarded and angry to dazed with lust instantly as he grips my hip, fucking slowly into my hand while gripping my dick with his warm, calloused hand. It feels so good to finally have this…I've imagined this moment for years and it was going to take everything I had not to cum like the seventeen year old virgin I am…

He looked absolutely mesmerized and I couldn't help but chuckle breathlessly as the sensations of searing flesh enveloped my body so slowly that it was agonizingly brilliant.

"You said I was selfish, Whit…this is what we call a compromise. See, if I was wearing pants, they would be for a big boy…"

I'm graced with a dimpled smile that's real and breathtaking as he chuckles soft and low.

It doesn't take me long to open myself up enough to take him. I may be a virgin but I have a variety of sex toys and plugs…not with me though because I certainly didn't plan on needing them.

I line his dick up to my hole, pressing the plump, wet head against me as I focus on his hand around my cock, twisting and pulling the sensitive skin while pushing down to take him inside of me.

We both gasp when the head slips in, the slight pain of it has me reeling as I claw both hands against his chest and sink down.

It aches…like I'm being torn in half but fuck I want more.

My ass finally rests against the soft hair around the base of his impressive cock while he grips my hips, eyes closed and mouth open as he gasps an unintelligible noise.

He's holding me still, the instinct to protect me always overpowering everything else and I don't want that. I want him to hurt me…I deserve it. I'm finally ready to take my own punishment because he's right, I have been selfish and while I reserve that instinct for self preservation, I need him to know the real me.

I'm still the selfish, twisted bastard I've always been… but never again with him. Now that I have him, I will never lose him again and I will do whatever is necessary to prove that I'm in this all the way.

Grasping his wrists, I push them down against the carpet above his head as I rise up on my knees. They're already burning from the carpet underneath them but my whole body shoots up in flames as I sink back down. My ass is gripping his dick so hard and I can feel every ridge and the mushroom of the swollen head inside me.

We both cry out, him in pleasure, me in pain.

I knew it would hurt my first time and I'm not disappointed. My body aches and trembles each time I rise and fall on his cock. I want to go harder…faster…I have to make this good for him…have to show him I can do it…

Soft whimpers fall from his pretty lips and I have to bite my own to keep from crying out. Letting go of his hands, I claw at the dirty carpet and fall forward. My face is in his neck as I move up and down, taking his hard flesh deeper inside of me with the rise of his hips to meet every thrust.

My body is trembling and I can feel the sweat rolling down my back from the exertion. Everything is on fire. Then his arms are wrapped around me and he whispers, "You okay?"

I nod my head against his shoulder and grunt out, "Yeah…"

He starts to shift underneath me, holding my ass with one arm and my back with another as he rasps out, "Hang on to me, Mase, don't let go…"

My whole body is wrapped around him as he shifts his knees and sits up. Then he stands very carefully on shaky legs, bringing me with him as he shuffles to the bed and lays me down on my back.

It still hurts but at least my knees feel better. The first few times he pushes into me are painful but then he angles his hips and I let out a cry of ecstasy as he finds exactly the right spot.

My flaccid cock twitches and he chuckles against my ear as he starts drilling that spot over and over until my fingers are digging into his back and my toes are curling.

This feels really good. Really, really good. The pain is finally overcast with pleasure.

He's not being gentle. The bed is squeaking viciously underneath us and the headboard is banging furiously against the wall and all I can do is hold on.

Then he's kissing me, swallowing my cries and moans of pleasure as he wraps a hand around my dick, stroking me until I'm fully hard and throbbing from the inside and out.

When I cum, it's almost painful as I clench around his cock fiercely. He's sputtering cuss words in my ear as he fucks me through it until he's shaking and trembling while he fills me up.

Then he rolls off of me, his cock sliding out as I gasp at the feeling. We're both lying there, panting and sweaty, coming down from the high when he finally curls up next to me, cuddling into my side and laying his head on my chest.

I'm a little surprised; I never took him for a cuddler.

But I can feel his dimpled grin as he whispers, half dazed, "That was worth the wait."

I chuckle, even though my body aches, and I run my fingers through his sweaty curls. For awhile we just lay there, silent and reveling in the moment.

Eventually I whisper, "Hey Whit, we still have a lot to talk about."

He nods against my chest and mumbles, "I know…in the mornin' okay? Too sleepy right now…"

For a moment, we're just quiet until I finally whisper, "Hey Whit? What did you mean when you said I was doing it wrong earlier?"

With a raspy chuckle, his scruffy chin tickled my neck, "In prison we pour the hot sauce in the bag of chips and shake it up."

Oh, okay.

We're quiet again as his breathing starts to even out and my eyes feel so heavy I can barely keep them open.

But I just have to ask him…

"Whit? Are you gonna be here in the morning?"

He groans against my chest and mumbles, "Probably not…Jasper's gonna freak when he sees what I done to ya…he'll probably run like the scared bitch he is…try and keep ya safe from him or some bullshit…"

For some reason, I tighten my hold around him as he chuckled against my shoulder.

We're quiet again but before I can finally close my eyes, I whisper, "Hey Whit? If Jasper leaves, will you come back?"

I figure he's already sleeping when I don't get an answer straight away but right before my eyes close for the final time that night, I hear him whisper, "Yeah, Mase. I'll come back."

Then his arms tighten around me as I finally fall asleep.


End file.
